Wedding Rings

Funny Stories

Question:

> >Anyway, one anecdote he’s told is of a particularly nervous bride. … > Robert Fulghum is your minister? > (This story is taken nearly sentence-for-sentence from one of Fulghum’s > books.  _It Was On Fire When I Lay Down On It_, I think; my copy is > currently packed away.)

Someone else pointed this out in e-mail. No, Robert Fulghum is not my minister. My minister (Bob Karnan of Portsmouth, New Hampshire) told at different times stories from his own experiences and from books he had read. I apparently mixed the two up in my recollection of his anecdote. Dave Kennard

Response:

|> > |> >Anyway, one anecdote he’s told is of a particularly nervous bride. … |> |> Robert Fulghum is your minister? |> |> (This story is taken nearly sentence-for-sentence from one of Fulghum’s |> books.  _It Was On Fire When I Lay Down On It_, I think; my copy is |> currently packed away.) |> |> —                    __ You know…., I thought that story seemed too familiar to me!  One of my best friends in college got that book from a relative and would read a different story out of it to us (she and I shared an apartment with one other girl) when school started to get stressful.  I remember that she read the "barfing bride" story to us on a night before I had 3 finals! It still made me snort out loud from laughing so hard. Michelle Bork Michelle Wright Bork                   – You cannot achieve the impossible Hughes Information Technology Corporation                       Reston,VA  a subsidiary of Hughes Aircraft Company

Response:

>In talking with our Minister before the wedding, we brought up the movie >"Four Weddings and a Funeral", mentioning the wedding (the second one I think) >where the priest was newly ordained and had a great deal of trouble with >the ceremony.  Our minister said that he hadn’t seen it, but relayed a story >of HIS first ceremony… >Apparently, as the bride first started to walk down the aisle, he motioned >for everyone to stand, but then never told them to be seated.  Everyone ended >up standing throughout the entire ceremony, and he did not even realize it >until someone asked him about it as he was leaving the church.

That happened to us, too!  Our officiant was a really good friend of ours who had a Universal Life Church credential, but he had never done a wedding before.  Everyone stood for the processional (or at least at the bride’s entrance), but he never told them to sit down.  I didn’t realize people stood for the entire ceremony (20 minutes) until I saw the videos! Maddi & Cliff 10-10-93 The wedding?  The was 2 years ago! — Another unwilling pawn in Netcom’s quest for world domination

Response:

: > : >Anyway, one anecdote he’s told is of a particularly nervous bride. … : Robert Fulghum is your minister? : (This story is taken nearly sentence-for-sentence from one of Fulghum’s : books.  _It Was On Fire When I Lay Down On It_, I think; my copy is : currently packed away.) : —                    __ You’re right.  A very funny story, but strangely similar to the one in Fulghum’s book.  Hey, if he _is_ your minister, my boyfriend and I would like to use him for our wedding….  – Andrea Safstrom                 "The beaten generation. Reared on a diet                                  The beaten generation, the beaten generation.                                  Open your eyes. Open your IMAGINATION!"                                                                 — The The

Response:

> Every year or so my minister … gives anecdotes of humorous or disastrous > weddings as illustration of how things can work out even if the wedding > didn’t go "perfectly"….. > Dave Kennard

Thank you!  This episode really made me laugh!

Response:

Every year or so my minister gives a sermon on marriage and weddings he’s done over the years. He gives anecdotes of humorous or disastrous weddings as illustration of how things can work out even if the wedding didn’t go "perfectly". Anyway, one anecdote he’s told is of a particularly nervous bride. Part of why she was nervous was because for the year leading up to the wedding her mother had been working on making this *the* perfect wedding and social event of the year. Completely over the top. The father of the bride had long since resigned himself to simply writing checks without asking for explanation. The bride-to-be got more and more stressed out as the time approached and the pressure and expectations mounted. Despite all the complexity and high demands, the mother’s plans were working out and everything was in place on the day of the wedding. The bride, however, was a complete wreck as the ceremony neared. To calm her down a little, her father gave her a couple of Valium and put her in a quiet side room to wait out of the chaos until they were ready for her. This side room where she was placed was actually the reception room, all set up for after the ceremony. The bride, to get her mind off things, took a look at the buffet to see how the (carefully chosen) food looked. She sampled something –just a little bite– then something else. Then, in her nervousness, she basically went into a full feeding frenzy and worked her way down the table. When her father came for her to escort her down the aisle she was looking a bit green. Stress, Valium and a wide assortment of food had done a real number on her, but she gamely staggered down the aisle on her father’s arm. However, as they reached the front of the church it was all just too much for her. She stopped, swayed, then turned and vomited directly onto her mother’s lap. Powerboot. She then fainted dead away. Mom screamed, then also fainted. So, there’s the father of the bride standing next to the first row of pews with two unconscious women at his feet, one of whom is covered with vomit. After thirty seconds or so of dead silence in the congregation a laugh starts: the father of the bride can’t help himself and just stands there laughing at the whole thing. The bride and her mother eventually came to their senses and were cleaned up in another room, then everyone got back into place and the ceremony continued –in a somewhat less stuffy mood than before. The whole mess was of course captured for posterity on videotape. At the fifth anniversy party nobody laughed harder than the mother of the bride. Dave Kennard David & Margaret  6/25/95

Response:

I was MOH in a wedding where the groom decided the week of the wedding that even though he did’nt plan to wear a wedding ring in regular life, he did want to have a double-ring ceremony. We went tearing around trying to find a cheap one-time-only ring compatible with the bride’s white gold wedding set, only to be sneered at by department store jewelers.  (Hmph!)  Finally the bride’s sister found a pair of silver hoop earrings that thread (let me clarify) that forms a continuous loop once the thread is closed.  Looked nice, job done.  But I and a couple of groomsmen in the know couldn’t help stifling giggles as the pastor raised the rings to be blessed.  "This ring is a symbol of devotion…." made us think "and luckily, the best man has a spare in his pocket!" My fiance and I also attended a wedding where the bridesmaids were serving cake, slicing from all tiers but the top, wihtout having bothered to separate the tiers–we all felt challenged to duck in and out for cake without being there at the fatal moment when it all collapsed.  Luckily someone’s aunt noticed what was going on and came to intervene. Amy (& Scott, July 22, 1995–wow, this year now!) — Grad Student, Case Western Reserve University, English Dept. "Well, I was born Mary Patterson, but naturally I took my husband’s name, so now I’m Neil Patterson."  (Fry & Laurie)

Response:

Filed under: White Gold Wedding Ring