Wedding Rings

Cost of wedding

Question:

- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->My boyfriend and I are seriously considering getting married, either next >year or in ‘96.  In order to save properly for the wedding, we need to know >about how much weddings cost.  We have heard estimates of $10,000 to >$18,000 or more. >We spent about $7,000 or $8,000.   $3,000 of that was in our rings, >$500 in a plane ticket for the man of honor.  We had a nice, small >wedding (about 100 people), with a few of the trimmings (most hand >made by me).  I spent about $600 on my gown, veil, shoes, alter cloth. >$600 on flowers (all inclusive).  $1000 on the reception (cake, food, >gobltes, cake cutter, cake top, room rental, decorations, etc . . .). >$300 on a DJ.  $50 on ceremony music (CD’s recorded onto a tape and >played on my husband’s stero).  $70/tux (we paid the $20 deposit on >each, tailcoat tuxes with shoes).  $205 for the rehersial dinner.   >$1000 on the honeymoon.  $200 on gifts.  $200 on room rentals and food >for our wedding party (we have a three bedroom house, and Britan rented >a room in a hotel, so we decided to pay food and lodging for them, our >families paid their own way).  $200 on lingerie (couldn’t forget that!) >$200 on photography (my matron of honor’s husband is a photographer). >I think that is it.  If we had bought everything that I made we would >have paid well over $20,000 for the thing (I saved $2600 on my dress >and veil alone!). >A friend of ours got married in December and spent about $18,000 but >their parents had the money.  Another that got married in June only >spent about $1500 (borrowed dress, veil, shoes, flowers were a gift, >whole family is ministers, and they catered it themselves, plain >gold bands, and a cabin donated for the honeymoon by the bestman’s >father.  It was still a beautiful wedding, but they did miss out on >the photography and videography.) >I think a wedding budget depends more on what you have to spend, than >what you want to spend.  The less you have to spend, the more >imaginative you end up being!  Just have fun, and remember:  the >important thing is that you say ‘I do’, not what happens around you. >(writen on a note and given to me by a dear friend just before the >wedding). >Lynn Stepanek

Response:

>My boyfriend and I are seriously considering getting married, either next >year or in ‘96.  In order to save properly for the wedding, we need to know >about how much weddings cost.  We have heard estimates of $10,000 to >$18,000 or more. >  We would probably have a big wedding about 250 to 300 guests.  We would >either cater itand have a few people cook. >  Anyway, I don’t necessarily need a complete budget, estimates would be >fine.  Or for the people who have recently married or or near that point, >how much is the whole thing costing so far? >  Thanks for your responses.

Melanie,      I found bands in my area costing anywhere from $750-$1000 for four hours work.  I finally found a band that was willing to strike a deal to break into the town.  They gave a substantial discount for the potential future business they might be able to attract.      Dresses can cost anywhere from $350-1500 new. I found mine in the WANTED TO SELL ads!      Veils can cost from $75-125.  If you have any kind of Arts ‘n’ Crafts talent, you can make most of the veils for under $15.  And look just as good if not better.        Organist – $50      Church – $135  (I’m a member, so I rec’d a discount(?)).      Dance Hall – $125      Tuxes are running between $56-78.      My shoes – $45      Attendents dresses – $50 each from Chadwicks of Boston.      MOH dress will cost me approx $35 by the time I get it made.      Flowers – (silk) between $150-160.        My engagement and wedding band approx $536 for 1/3 carat.      His wedding band – $229.   Prices will vary depending on the area where the ceremony will take place.  Our friends have all kind of chipped in and volunteered to do things, i.e. As part of one couples gift to us – I designed the invitation and they paid for the  printing, paper, and envelopes.  Another couple of friends have volunteered to provide the reception food. This is only a partial listing, but I hope it helps.  My biggest asset was two women who work in the same office area as me.  Their daughters and sons have gotten married in the last year, and they both were a wealth of information on people and resources. Sandy and Jerry 13 days to go . . . **    Sandra J. Munkvold                  The trouble with the world is that * ***   University of South Dakota          intelligent are full of doubt.   *** ****                                                 Bertrand Russell     ****

Response:

>    Obviously, one need not have special glasses for this event. >I think some people just like to have some memento of the occasion, >so someone is happy to sell them something that will never get mixed >up with the rest of the crystal

When my fiance proposed, he set up a wine and cheese picnic for me where he popped the question.  For that occasion he bought two wine glasses because he didn’t have any.  I thought it would be fun to engrave the date on them, so I took them to "Things Remembered" and got the date, our initials, and "Marry me?" on his and "Yes!" on mine.  (He said a lot more than that in his proposal, but it wouldn’t have all fit on the glass :~)  Anyway, these glasses are the obvious choice for us to use as our "toasting goblets."  If we didn’t have them, we probably wouldn’t bother getting special ones just for the wedding.   — Carol Cochrane The above opinions are uniquely mine.

Response:

>My boyfriend and I are seriously considering getting married, either next >year or in ‘96.  In order to save properly for the wedding, we need to know >about how much weddings cost.  We have heard estimates of $10,000 to >$18,000 or more.

We spent about $7,000 or $8,000.   $3,000 of that was in our rings, $500 in a plane ticket for the man of honor.  We had a nice, small wedding (about 100 people), with a few of the trimmings (most hand made by me).  I spent about $600 on my gown, veil, shoes, alter cloth. $600 on flowers (all inclusive).  $1000 on the reception (cake, food, gobltes, cake cutter, cake top, room rental, decorations, etc . . .). $300 on a DJ.  $50 on ceremony music (CD’s recorded onto a tape and played on my husband’s stero).  $70/tux (we paid the $20 deposit on each, tailcoat tuxes with shoes).  $205 for the rehersial dinner.   $1000 on the honeymoon.  $200 on gifts.  $200 on room rentals and food for our wedding party (we have a three bedroom house, and Britan rented a room in a hotel, so we decided to pay food and lodging for them, our families paid their own way).  $200 on lingerie (couldn’t forget that!) $200 on photography (my matron of honor’s husband is a photographer). I think that is it.  If we had bought everything that I made we would have paid well over $20,000 for the thing (I saved $2600 on my dress and veil alone!). A friend of ours got married in December and spent about $18,000 but their parents had the money.  Another that got married in June only spent about $1500 (borrowed dress, veil, shoes, flowers were a gift, whole family is ministers, and they catered it themselves, plain gold bands, and a cabin donated for the honeymoon by the bestman’s father.  It was still a beautiful wedding, but they did miss out on the photography and videography.) I think a wedding budget depends more on what you have to spend, than what you want to spend.  The less you have to spend, the more imaginative you end up being!  Just have fun, and remember:  the important thing is that you say ‘I do’, not what happens around you. (writen on a note and given to me by a dear friend just before the wedding). Lynn Stepanek

Response:

>Remember to budget for all the "little things" they add up.  (Things like >cake server, knives, garters, toasting glasses, guest book, pen)

Quite true.  Lots of that stuff, though, I’d wait to get toward the end — sometimes people give those as engagement or shower gifts, so you can luck out that way. Also, before you spend money on that stuff, THINK about it and decide which of it you are sentimental about (and may want to keep) and which you’re just getting because that’s what people do. For example — cake knife and server.  You don’t need a fancy set from the Hallmark store at $15-20 per set.  Your caterer may have nice ones you can use, or you can just use a plain long knive (with both your hands on it, no one’ll notice that it’s not fancy), maybe with a ribbon tied around it.   Toasting glasses, too.  If you don’t *want* a set engraved with your names, see if the caterer has a pair of long-stemmed flutes you can use.  (Neither of us likes champagne, so we would’ve lived without them happily, except we got some as a gift.) For a unity candle, you don’t need a $15-30 candle decorated with some lace and fake flowers.  We used a $6 vanilla scented candle from the local craft store, with a pair of matching $.59 tapers.  So it didn’t have a mushy poem printed on it — we didn’t want one anyway.   Instead of a $15-20 guest book from the Hallmark store (can you tell I don’t want to give $$$ to the Hallmark store?) we paid $10 to a calligrapher and got a large sheet of heavy paper with our names and wedding date written inside a decorative heart.  She added a pretty floral border, and all the guests signed it.  We’ll get a simple frame for it — which will cost some money — but having saved on those other things, I don’t mind (especially since it’s much better looking than a guest book and we’ll enjoy it every day). (Got this idea from alt.wedding — Beth Mazur, I think) Anything you have your heart set on, get (even if it’s from the Hallmark store or equivalent  :-)   Just think about that stuff, because it’s easy to "automatically" buy stuff that really, you might never miss. Chris

Response:

|>   A question:  When are you supposed to _use_ the toasting glasses?  The |> etiquette books say you’re not supposed to drink when you’re the one being |> toasted, so I’m confused…..  Any ideas, or is the whole idea of the |> B&G having special toasting glasses just another "tradition" created by |> the people who sell this stuff? |> I had two champagne flutes that match our crystal engraved with our names and our wedding date.  I plan to use and reuse those glasses at intimate dinners since they go so well with our china and crystal.  The toast that we will use ours for is the one where the bride and groom link arms to drink.   This usually takes place right after the cake is cut.  I know my parents cherished their keepsakes.  Especially when they reused everything at their 25th anniversary party. Hope this helps! Laura & Ron November 20, 1993

Response:

>|> > >|> > >|> >  A question:  When are you supposed to _use_ the toasting glasses?  The >etiquette books say you’re not supposed to drink when you’re the one being >toasted, so I’m confused…..  Any ideas, or is the whole idea of the >B&G having special toasting glasses just another "tradition" created by >the people who sell this stuff?

I’d always heard that too (about not drinking when being toasted).  In any case, we *couldn’t* drink anything when being toasted — we were standing in the middle of the dance floor (I think traditionally, the people being toasted are to be seated while everyone else stands, but the way our head table was set up, no one would’ve seen us.) We weren’t supposed to have champagne at the wedding anyway — but the glasses were a gift, so we brought them along anyway, and drank wine from them.  We used them later that night, as someone had sent champagne to our room…. Unfortunately, our DJ’s wireless mike wasn’t working, so the best man had to stand at the DJ table (instead of near the head table) to make the toast.  There didn’t happen to be a drink for him at the DJ table, so he stood around waiting for someone to bring him a drink until he started his toast.  This resulted in a few awkward quiet moments with everyone standing there holding a glass.  Just wanted to mention this tiny detail so others don’t get stuck with the same "moment of silence"… in our case, it was due to a last-minute technical difficulty, but it can’t hurt to coordinate ahead of time w/ your DJ/MC and caterer.   Chris

Response:

>  A question:  When are you supposed to _use_ the toasting glasses?  The >etiquette books say you’re not supposed to drink when you’re the one being >toasted, so I’m confused…..  Any ideas, or is the whole idea of the >B&G having special toasting glasses just another "tradition" created by >the people who sell this stuff?

        People seem to use them ceremonially when sharing a sip of champagne at the cake cutting.  Thus, the name "toasting goblets" is a bit of a misnomer.  You are correct that one does not drink to one’s self after having been toasted.         Obviously, one need not have special glasses for this event. I think some people just like to have some memento of the occasion, so someone is happy to sell them something that will never get mixed up with the rest of the crystal Ericka

Response:

|> > |> > |> >Remember to budget for all the "little things" they add up.  (Things like |> >cake server, knives, garters, toasting glasses, guest book, pen) |> > |> |> |> Quite true.  Lots of that stuff, though, I’d wait to get toward the |> end — sometimes people give those as engagement or shower gifts, so |> you can luck out that way. |> |> Also, before you spend money on that stuff, THINK about it and decide |> which of it you are sentimental about (and may want to keep) and which |> you’re just getting because that’s what people do. |>   I agree with this idea completely.  Why spend money on things that you’ll consider "clutter" as soon as you get back from the honeymoon? |> |> Toasting glasses, too.  If you don’t *want* a set engraved with your |> names, see if the caterer has a pair of long-stemmed flutes you can |> use.  (Neither of us likes champagne, so we would’ve lived without |> them happily, except we got some as a gift.) |>   A question:  When are you supposed to _use_ the toasting glasses?  The etiquette books say you’re not supposed to drink when you’re the one being toasted, so I’m confused…..  Any ideas, or is the whole idea of the B&G having special toasting glasses just another "tradition" created by the people who sell this stuff? |> Instead of a $15-20 guest book from the Hallmark store (can you tell |> I don’t want to give $$$ to the Hallmark store?) we paid $10 to a |> calligrapher and got a large sheet of heavy paper with our names and |> wedding date written inside a decorative heart.  She added a pretty |> floral border, and all the guests signed it.  We’ll get a simple frame |> for it — which will cost some money — but having saved on those |> other things, I don’t mind (especially since it’s much better looking |> than a guest book and we’ll enjoy it every day). (Got this idea from |> alt.wedding — Beth Mazur, I think) |>   This sounds really nice.  I’ll consider doing that myself. |> |> Anything you have your heart set on, get (even if it’s from the |> Hallmark store or equivalent  :-)   Just think about that stuff, |> because it’s easy to "automatically" buy stuff that really, you might |> never miss. |> |> |> |> Chris — |    Cathy Moore     | These opinions are mine, not those of the University| |                    | that I should be writing my dissertation.           |

Response:

>Also, before you spend money on that stuff, THINK about it and decide >which of it you are sentimental about (and may want to keep) and which >you’re just getting because that’s what people do. >For example — cake knife and server.  You don’t need a fancy set from >the Hallmark store at $15-20 per set.  Your caterer may have nice ones >you can use, or you can just use a plain long knive (with both >your hands on it, no one’ll notice that it’s not fancy), maybe with a >ribbon tied around it.  

[other great money-saving ideas deleted] We saved money by just using plain cocktail napkins instead of havign ones printed up with our names, wedding date, or other silliness.  And boy and I ever glad:  we had almost 200 of the suckers left over.  This way I can keep using them for regular parties/gatherings without having to be embarrassed! —                                                 —  Michal Impressive amounts of material can be accreted in this manner.

Response:

        I’d like to second much of this message.  We had a rather expensive wedding, but we didn’t sweat a lot of the small stuff. Instead, we preferred to spend the money on what was important to us.  You *do* have a lot of latitude for decision making here! Guests seemed to think our wedding was *very* nice–they obviously didn’t miss many of these things that bridal magazines would have you think were essential. >Quite true.  Lots of that stuff, though, I’d wait to get toward the >end — sometimes people give those as engagement or shower gifts, so >you can luck out that way.

        My grandmother gave me a garter to throw.  My aunt made a photo album and decorated guest book. >For example — cake knife and server.  You don’t need a fancy set from >the Hallmark store at $15-20 per set.  Your caterer may have nice ones

        We just used the hotel’s cake knife–no fuss and no need to find it before we left. >Toasting glasses, too.  If you don’t *want* a set engraved with your >names, see if the caterer has a pair of long-stemmed flutes you can >use.

        We had received two champagne glasses in our crystal pattern from my grandmother and used those.  (They were engraved with a claddagh ring pattern which was especially suitable for our wedding.) Ericka

Response:

>In order to save properly for the wedding, we need to know >about how much weddings cost.  We have heard estimates of $10,000 to >$18,000 or more. >  We would probably have a big wedding about 250 to 300 guests.  We would >either cater itand have a few people cook.

The average full-service wedding in the US runs about $15000 for 150-ish guests.  This average includes things like professional photography, catering, formalwear, transportation for B&G, beverages, cake, floral arrangements, rental of wedding and reception sites, music, payment of officiant, etc.  It does *not* include expenses commonly associated with a wedding such as engagement ring(s), honeymoon, travel expenses, setting up a new household. You can save *alot* of money by doing some of the preparation yourself, or calling in favors from friends (eg, having relatives make hors d’ouvre trays, asking a friend to sing for the ceremony, making your own veil, making party-favors with your bridesmaids, having the reception in your parents’ home). Also shop around because costs vary *widely*. Sounds like you are planning a larger-than-average wedding, thus can expect an associated increase in costs. —                                                 —  Michal Impressive amounts of material can be accreted in this manner.

Response:

>My boyfriend and I are seriously considering getting married, either next >year or in ‘96.  In order to save properly for the wedding, we need to know >about how much weddings cost.  We have heard estimates of $10,000 to >$18,000 or more. >  We would probably have a big wedding about 250 to 300 guests.  We would >either cater itand have a few people cook. >  Anyway, I don’t necessarily need a complete budget, estimates would be >fine.  Or for the people who have recently married or or near that point, >how much is the whole thing costing so far? >  Thanks for your responses.

Congrats, I got married April 92. I planned the entire wedding myself. I also have friends and friends of friends who contributed alot. For instance I know someone who made my flowers, told her what I wanted and she did all the flowers boutinnaires, and pew bows for about $100, One of my attendants sister in-law owns a bakery, and a friend is a amatur photographer who did I our pictures. What I guess I am getting at is tap your resources around you. I did our wedding, the whole shabang for 80 people sit-down catered for $3,500.00 We had an extremly tight budget, and I had to make every dollar go really far. I knew the type of dress I wanted but I didn’t want to pay 8or900 dollars fo it, I find it for $375.00. One other thing, go to bridal shows, register for giveaways and drawings. I won a honeymoon for me and my hubby that way, I also won the uses of a bridal consultant free of charge, so that helps too. Lisa Hope this helps

Response:

My boyfriend and I are seriously considering getting married, either next year or in ‘96.  In order to save properly for the wedding, we need to know about how much weddings cost.  We have heard estimates of $10,000 to $18,000 or more.   We would probably have a big wedding about 250 to 300 guests.  We would either cater itand have a few people cook.   Anyway, I don’t necessarily need a complete budget, estimates would be fine.  Or for the people who have recently married or or near that point, how much is the whole thing costing so far?   Thanks for your responses.

Response:

|>   Anyway, I don’t necessarily need a complete budget, estimates would be |> fine.  Or for the people who have recently married or or near that point, |> how much is the whole thing costing so far? We have lucked out on almost everything, as far as costs go and we’re spending around 7000 not including rings. Remember to budget for all the "little things" they add up.  (Things like cake server, knives, garters, toasting glasses, guest book, pen) Laura &Ron November 20, 1993

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