Wedding Rings

What to give as a gift?

Question:

Actually, Mike and Annette do have the bounced check.  SHe has it in the back of her wedding album behind a card or something.  The card would have to be taken out for someone to find the check.   I should add that my cousin had a big 25th wedding party the day after my son’s wedding and I gave her a answering machine because she had never returned my calls when I was trying to find out if they were coming to Mike’s wedding. (she said her machine didn’t work well) But I kept the silver and crystal hurricane lamp that I was going to give them as a second gift when Mike and Annette opened the card with the $20 check in it!   >;-) Glo – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > Do you still have the check that bounced? <smile> > This is a gift grab, pure and simple.  They’re married.  It’s not a > "significant" anniversary (25, 50, 75 years).  I don’t know that I’d > bother much. > Hope you figure out something; I trust your judgement.

Response:

>This whole wedding is going to be a showy scam to get gifts.  But I >really need to put in an appearance as it’s a family thing and I’ll get >to see some relatives I enjoy seeing. (snip) >So – what do I bring for a gift?

The rule here is do not feed the Bridezilla. We do not encourage sham weddings. Gift-giving, attending showers, attending the fake ceremony, etc all encourages sham weddings. Your participation is your assent that you think it’s just peachy. Then others will take note and learn and do likewise. While you may not be able to get out of attending the sham ceremony, you can certainly limit your participation by skipping the fake ceremony and showing up only for the sham reception since you want to see relatives. You would of course, have to extend a courtesy to the hosts and say something nice. "Isn’t it a lovely day!" is always a good, non-commital comment. The better course of action would be for you to host a small party inviting those persons you want to see who will be in town for the shamness and skip the fake party altogether. But you do not have to give a gift for any sham event and we do not recommend you do. If you feel you absolutely must send a gift, e-mail me privately for my recommendation. Hope this helps, Noe

Response:

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> This whole wedding is going to be a showy scam to get gifts.  But I > really need to put in an appearance as it’s a family thing and I’ll get > to see some relatives I enjoy seeing. > My cousin’s daughter was married 1/1/01.  At home with a JP and just > her parents and the husband’s parents and his daughter. > At a family gathering "The bride" of one year announced to me that she > was planning on having a big wedding this summer.  No specific date as > of that day – she was still in the planning stages and figuring out > exactly what she wanted. She is planning on all her sisters and cousins > for bridesmaids – she thinks there will be about 6 bridesmaids and > three flower girls.  She has seen several gowns she liked. > I was a bit stunned and spoke out of turn, but I just sort of  blurted, > "Becca, wouldn’t it make more sense to put that money toward your > house?"  (they are also saving to one day buy a house)   Her response > was,"I don’t want to miss out on all those yummy gifts!"   > Knowing this and the fact that they will have been married over a year > and a half, already set up housekeeping, etc., I’m not too enthused > about going out and spending much on a gift. > Ok, I admit, I’m also still ripped that her parents came to my son’s > wedding with their whole family of 9 when we were expecting only the 4 > of them living at home – not the married ones and their spouses and > kid!  AND!  They took trays of food home and the $20.00 (Yes, that is > twenty dollars) that they gave my son and his wife for a wedding gift > bounced! > So – what do I bring for a gift?  Ron, I especially can’t wait for > *your* comments on this one! > Glo

That’s easy – give her $20, check or cash, I’m sure you’re good for a check, and leave it at that. -Pea

Response:

I think a lovely letter congratulating them on their marriage (not wedding since this really isn’t one) and a small token would be appropriate. — Melissa (03/18/01) – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> This whole wedding is going to be a showy scam to get gifts.  But I > really need to put in an appearance as it’s a family thing and I’ll get > to see some relatives I enjoy seeing. > My cousin’s daughter was married 1/1/01.  At home with a JP and just > her parents and the husband’s parents and his daughter. > At a family gathering "The bride" of one year announced to me that she > was planning on having a big wedding this summer.  No specific date as > of that day – she was still in the planning stages and figuring out > exactly what she wanted. She is planning on all her sisters and cousins > for bridesmaids – she thinks there will be about 6 bridesmaids and > three flower girls.  She has seen several gowns she liked. > I was a bit stunned and spoke out of turn, but I just sort of  blurted, > "Becca, wouldn’t it make more sense to put that money toward your > house?"  (they are also saving to one day buy a house)   Her response > was,"I don’t want to miss out on all those yummy gifts!" > Knowing this and the fact that they will have been married over a year > and a half, already set up housekeeping, etc., I’m not too enthused > about going out and spending much on a gift. > Ok, I admit, I’m also still ripped that her parents came to my son’s > wedding with their whole family of 9 when we were expecting only the 4 > of them living at home – not the married ones and their spouses and > kid!  AND!  They took trays of food home and the $20.00 (Yes, that is > twenty dollars) that they gave my son and his wife for a wedding gift > bounced! > So – what do I bring for a gift?  Ron, I especially can’t wait for > *your* comments on this one! > Glo

Response:

>So – what do I bring for a gift?

A roll of paper towels and a plastic bucket? Maybe one of those new Clorox mops. Ron Ng Knows!

Response:

>So – what do I bring for a gift? > A roll of paper towels and a plastic bucket? > Maybe one of those new Clorox mops.

lol.  I like it!!

Response:

> >So – what do I bring for a gift? > A roll of paper towels and a plastic bucket?

Great idea!  A yummy gift for the bride. > Maybe one of those new Clorox mops.

Those are at least $25, she should buy one and keep it for herself. They are good mops. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Ron Ng Knows!

Response:

> Knowing this and the fact that they will have been married over a year > and a half, already set up housekeeping, etc., I’m not too enthused > about going out and spending much on a gift. > Ok, I admit, I’m also still ripped that her parents came to my son’s > wedding with their whole family of 9 when we were expecting only the 4 > of them living at home – not the married ones and their spouses and > kid!  AND!  They took trays of food home and the $20.00 (Yes, that is > twenty dollars) that they gave my son and his wife for a wedding gift > bounced! > So – what do I bring for a gift?

        I can tell you what I’d be tempted to do  I would be tempted to figure out a gift that doesn’t have a lot of monetary value but that would have a great deal of sentimental value to anyone with a heart.  They’ll be frustrated to not get something pricey off their registry, but will feel compelled to make much of the gift (and if they don’t, it will reflect badly on them). Plus, your thoughtfulness will reflect well on you.  The trick is finding something that is really sentimental that doesn’t take a ton of time (handmade quilt) and isn’t too dear to part with (Great-Grandma’s wedding ring).  For example, friends who got married recently had a story in which after they’d been dating many years and had many discussions about perhaps getting engaged, she stopped in a field of clover and told him if he could find a four leaf clover, she’d marry him.  He looked down, and right at the tip of her toe was a four leaf clover.  That’s how they got engaged.  That’s a situation ripe for some sort of adorable clover-related gift (the sappier the better, in this instance  Surely there’s *something* in your cousin’s daughter’s story that lends itself to this sort of thing.  You might have to do some digging to find it, but it’ll be worth the satisfaction. Good luck, Ericka

Response:

This whole wedding is going to be a showy scam to get gifts.  But I really need to put in an appearance as it’s a family thing and I’ll get to see some relatives I enjoy seeing. My cousin’s daughter was married 1/1/01.  At home with a JP and just her parents and the husband’s parents and his daughter. At a family gathering "The bride" of one year announced to me that she was planning on having a big wedding this summer.  No specific date as of that day – she was still in the planning stages and figuring out exactly what she wanted. She is planning on all her sisters and cousins for bridesmaids – she thinks there will be about 6 bridesmaids and three flower girls.  She has seen several gowns she liked. I was a bit stunned and spoke out of turn, but I just sort of  blurted, "Becca, wouldn’t it make more sense to put that money toward your house?"  (they are also saving to one day buy a house)   Her response was,"I don’t want to miss out on all those yummy gifts!"   Knowing this and the fact that they will have been married over a year and a half, already set up housekeeping, etc., I’m not too enthused about going out and spending much on a gift. Ok, I admit, I’m also still ripped that her parents came to my son’s wedding with their whole family of 9 when we were expecting only the 4 of them living at home – not the married ones and their spouses and kid!  AND!  They took trays of food home and the $20.00 (Yes, that is twenty dollars) that they gave my son and his wife for a wedding gift bounced! So – what do I bring for a gift?  Ron, I especially can’t wait for *your* comments on this one! Glo

Response:

- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > This whole wedding is going to be a showy scam to get gifts.  But I > really need to put in an appearance as it’s a family thing and I’ll get > to see some relatives I enjoy seeing. > My cousin’s daughter was married 1/1/01.  At home with a JP and just > her parents and the husband’s parents and his daughter. > At a family gathering "The bride" of one year announced to me that she > was planning on having a big wedding this summer.  No specific date as > of that day – she was still in the planning stages and figuring out > exactly what she wanted. She is planning on all her sisters and cousins > for bridesmaids – she thinks there will be about 6 bridesmaids and > three flower girls.  She has seen several gowns she liked. > I was a bit stunned and spoke out of turn, but I just sort of  blurted, > "Becca, wouldn’t it make more sense to put that money toward your > house?"  (they are also saving to one day buy a house)   Her response > was,"I don’t want to miss out on all those yummy gifts!"   > Knowing this and the fact that they will have been married over a year > and a half, already set up housekeeping, etc., I’m not too enthused > about going out and spending much on a gift. > Ok, I admit, I’m also still ripped that her parents came to my son’s > wedding with their whole family of 9 when we were expecting only the 4 > of them living at home – not the married ones and their spouses and > kid!  AND!  They took trays of food home and the $20.00 (Yes, that is > twenty dollars) that they gave my son and his wife for a wedding gift > bounced! > So – what do I bring for a gift?  Ron, I especially can’t wait for > *your* comments on this one! > Glo

Do you still have the check that bounced? <smile> This is a gift grab, pure and simple.  They’re married.  It’s not a "significant" anniversary (25, 50, 75 years).  I don’t know that I’d bother much. Hope you figure out something; I trust your judgement. — aMAZon "It’s never too late to have a happy childhood."

Response:

Filed under: Mens Wedding Rings