Wedding Rings

OT: Joke for Diane and Eddie

Question:

- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->-Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with >friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the other >fellow has, you wish you had ordered that. >-At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren’t you wearing >your wedding ring on the wrong finger?" The other replied, "Yes, I >am, I married the wrong man. >-"Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished. >-A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get > married?" And the father replied, "I don’t know son, I’m still >paying." >-Young Son: Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a >man doesn’t know his wife until he marries her? Dad: That happens in >every country, son. >-A man inserted an ‘ad’ in the classified: "Wife wanted". >Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same >thing: "You can have mine." >-A woman was telling her friend, "It was I who made my husband >millionaire." "And what was he before you married him?" asked the >friend. The woman replied, "A billionaire." >-When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let >him keep her. – Sacha Guitry >-I married Miss Right. I just didn’t know her first name was Always. >-It’s not true that married men live longer than single men. It only >seems longer. >-Losing a wife can be hard. In my case, it was almost impossible. >-I haven’t spoken to my wife in 18 months – I don’t like to >interrupt her. >-Just think, if it weren’t for marriage, men would go through life >thinking they had no faults at all. >-You know the honeymoon is pretty much over when you start to go >out with the boys on Wednesday nights, and so does she. >-A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can >spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. >-A man meets a genie. The genie tells him he can have whatever he >wants, provided that his mother-in-law gets double. The man thinks >for a moment and then says, "OK, give me a million dollars and beat me >half to death." >-How do most men define marriage? A very expensive way to get your >laundry done free. >-A couple was having a discussion about family finances. Finally >the husband exploded, "If it weren’t for my money, the house wouldn’t >be here" The wife replied, "My dear, if it weren’t for your money, I >wouldn’t be here." >-A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report >it because the thief was spending less than his wife did. >-The most effective way to remember your wife’s birthday is to >forget it once. >-Words to live by: Do not argue with a spouse who is packing your >parachute. >-First guy (proudly): "My wife’s an angel!" Second guy: "You’re >lucky, mine’s still alive." >-Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street >with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are beautiful.

Response:

- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->Dress of Love >An old woman went to visit her daughter and she found her naked, waiting for her husband. >The mother asks the daughter, "What are you doing naked?" >The daughter responds, "This is the dress of love." >When the mother returns home, she strips naked and waits for her husband. >When her husband arrives, he asks her, "What are you doing naked?" >She responds, "This is the dress of love." >"Well," he says to her, "go iron it."

Response:

- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->Wife Feeling Frisky? >Wife: Oh, come on. >Husband: Leave me alone! >Wife: It won’t take long. >Husband: I won’t be able to sleep afterwards. >Wife: I can’t sleep without it. >Husband: Why do you think of things like this in the middle of the night? >Wife: Because I’m Hot. >Husband: You get hot at the darnest times. >Wife: If you love me I wouldn’t have to beg you. >Husband: If you love me you’d be more considerate. >Wife: You don’t love me anymore. >Husband: Yes I do, but let’s forget it for tonight. >Wife: (Sob-Sob) >Husband: Alright, I’ll do it. >Wife: What’s the matter? Need a flashlight? >Husband: I can’t find it. >Wife: Oh, for heaven’s sake, feel for it! >Husband: There! Are you satisfied? >Wife: Oh, yes, honey. >Husband: Is it up far enough? >Wife: Oh, that’s fine. >Husband: Now go to bed and from now on when you want the window open, do it yourself.

Response:

- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->Why Me Lord? >A man was wandering around in a field, thinking about how good his wife had been to him and how fortunate he was to have her. He asked God, "Why did you make her so kind-hearted?" >The Lord responded, "So you could love her, my son." >"Why did you make her so good-looking?" >"So you could love her, my son." >"Why did you make her such a good cook?" >"So you could love her, my son." >The man thought about this. Then he said, "I don’t mean to seem ungrateful or anything, but … why did you make her so stupid?" >"So she could love you, my son."

Response:

> >-Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street >with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are beautiful.

Gotta love this one.  How true it is. — Adrienne 7m

Response:

> > >-Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street > >with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are beautiful. > Gotta love this one.  How true it is. > — > Adrienne > 7m

Yeah Adrienne, I have to agree with you about this!:))))))) Gwen

Response:

- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->-Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with >friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the other >fellow has, you wish you had ordered that. >-At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren’t you wearing >your wedding ring on the wrong finger?" The other replied, "Yes, I >am, I married the wrong man. >-"Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished. >-A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get > married?" And the father replied, "I don’t know son, I’m still >paying." >-Young Son: Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a >man doesn’t know his wife until he marries her? Dad: That happens in >every country, son. >-A man inserted an ‘ad’ in the classified: "Wife wanted". >Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same >thing: "You can have mine." >-A woman was telling her friend, "It was I who made my husband >millionaire." "And what was he before you married him?" asked the >friend. The woman replied, "A billionaire." >-When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let >him keep her. – Sacha Guitry >-I married Miss Right. I just didn’t know her first name was Always. >-It’s not true that married men live longer than single men. It only >seems longer. >-Losing a wife can be hard. In my case, it was almost impossible. >-I haven’t spoken to my wife in 18 months – I don’t like to >interrupt her. >-Just think, if it weren’t for marriage, men would go through life >thinking they had no faults at all. >-You know the honeymoon is pretty much over when you start to go >out with the boys on Wednesday nights, and so does she. >-A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can >spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. >-A man meets a genie. The genie tells him he can have whatever he >wants, provided that his mother-in-law gets double. The man thinks >for a moment and then says, "OK, give me a million dollars and beat me >half to death." >-How do most men define marriage? A very expensive way to get your >laundry done free. >-A couple was having a discussion about family finances. Finally >the husband exploded, "If it weren’t for my money, the house wouldn’t >be here" The wife replied, "My dear, if it weren’t for your money, I >wouldn’t be here." >-A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report >it because the thief was spending less than his wife did. >-The most effective way to remember your wife’s birthday is to >forget it once. >-Words to live by: Do not argue with a spouse who is packing your >parachute. >-First guy (proudly): "My wife’s an angel!" Second guy: "You’re >lucky, mine’s still alive." >-Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street >with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are beautiful.

Response:

- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->Dress of Love >An old woman went to visit her daughter and she found her naked, waiting for her husband. >The mother asks the daughter, "What are you doing naked?" >The daughter responds, "This is the dress of love." >When the mother returns home, she strips naked and waits for her husband. >When her husband arrives, he asks her, "What are you doing naked?" >She responds, "This is the dress of love." >"Well," he says to her, "go iron it."

Response:

- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->Wife Feeling Frisky? >Wife: Oh, come on. >Husband: Leave me alone! >Wife: It won’t take long. >Husband: I won’t be able to sleep afterwards. >Wife: I can’t sleep without it. >Husband: Why do you think of things like this in the middle of the night? >Wife: Because I’m Hot. >Husband: You get hot at the darnest times. >Wife: If you love me I wouldn’t have to beg you. >Husband: If you love me you’d be more considerate. >Wife: You don’t love me anymore. >Husband: Yes I do, but let’s forget it for tonight. >Wife: (Sob-Sob) >Husband: Alright, I’ll do it. >Wife: What’s the matter? Need a flashlight? >Husband: I can’t find it. >Wife: Oh, for heaven’s sake, feel for it! >Husband: There! Are you satisfied? >Wife: Oh, yes, honey. >Husband: Is it up far enough? >Wife: Oh, that’s fine. >Husband: Now go to bed and from now on when you want the window open, do it yourself.

Response:

- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->Why Me Lord? >A man was wandering around in a field, thinking about how good his wife had been to him and how fortunate he was to have her. He asked God, "Why did you make her so kind-hearted?" >The Lord responded, "So you could love her, my son." >"Why did you make her so good-looking?" >"So you could love her, my son." >"Why did you make her such a good cook?" >"So you could love her, my son." >The man thought about this. Then he said, "I don’t mean to seem ungrateful or anything, but … why did you make her so stupid?" >"So she could love you, my son."

Response:

> >-Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street >with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are beautiful.

Gotta love this one.  How true it is. — Adrienne 7m

Response:

> > >-Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street > >with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are beautiful. > Gotta love this one.  How true it is. > — > Adrienne > 7m

Yeah Adrienne, I have to agree with you about this!:))))))) Gwen

Response:

Filed under: Mens Wedding Rings