Wedding Rings

Alternates to "Who gives this bride away"

Question:

Paul and I walked in together.  Better than being given away.

Response:

>Here’s another question: would it be weird to walk down the aisle by >myself?

I walked down the aisle by myself and it was fine. Some people said "You’ll get all nervous and need someone to cling to" but I didn’t.  We agreed that, if I DID get nervous, Inky (my bridesmaid) and I would walk down together. Janet Gunn

Response:

I love the idea of giving myself away! Especially since my Dad has passed away and I can’t really imagine my mother giving me away (although she will bless us!).  I am quite self-sufficient and have been for a long while.  Thanks for the idea!  I’ve been lurking here for a few weeks and this was the first thing that inspired me to write. Here’s another question: would it be weird to walk down the aisle by myself?  I have a very close cousin who is like a brother to me and would be honored if I asked him to do it, but honestly I just can’t imagine anyone taking my father’s place in that regard.  I will miss him a great deal that day.   Beth (& Chris) Autumn 1997

Response:

In my religious tradition, the whole giving away thing is frowned on.  It doens’t appear in the text of our Book of Worship wedding service, and I wouldn’t have used it anyway.   Instead, our parents entered at the head of the procession and lit the two tapers we would later use to light the unity candle. Then, fairly early in the service–where the "giving away" would have been, question of support were asked first of the parents, and the of the congregation a a whole. Some friends asked if my father was hurt by this.  BUt he always knew he wouldn’t give me away–because in our tradition, I didn’t belong to him and I don’t belong to my hsuband.  So there’s nothing to give away!! But I did dance with him at the reception–and he glowed with pride!! lisa

Response:

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->Hi all, >I need some alternate statements for "Who gives this bride away".  I >would like something that would include both families, for example "Who >blesses this union".  At which time someone from both families would >stand and say "We do". >Debbie (& Dwight) >Dec. 21, 1996 >Right here, right here…. >Her Holiness The Pastress says this:  Who presents this couple for the >service of marriage? >All the applicable parents respond:  We do. >Then she continues: Will you pledge your support to Raggedy Ann and Andy >in their new relationship?  Will you share with them in the fellowship and >joy of their new home?  Will you be with them in their times of need, or >when they seek your help? >And we say:  Ya, sure, you betcha!  Ooops, "we will." >And then she says, "Who then will be responsible for the bride’s phone >bill, her makeup, her dental work, and her YWCA membership… >And WE say, "HE will!!!"   Yea!!! >OK, so I made up the last part! >-Barb

Hi, Barb!!! We had the traditional "Who gives this woman to be marrried to this man?" bit, but we also had the individual families as well as the congregation stand and state their support of our marriage.  That’s just one more way of doing things, I guess… Annie & Brian The Larkins (est. September 2, 1995) "’Tisn’t life that matters!  "Tis the courage you bring to it." — Hugh Walpole

Response:

My cousin’s officiant used, "Who welcomes this man into their family?" Michelle

Response:

: I need some alternate statements for "Who gives this bride away".  I : would like something that would include both families, for example "Who : blesses this union".  At which time someone from both families would : stand and say "We do".         In our ceremony we included statements on intent and support. Chip and I did the traditional statements on intent, then our pastor asked each of our families, "Who supports this man/woman in his/her endeavor?" (or words to that effect) and everyone answered "We do". We got a ton of positive comments on that one. Shannon & Chip 4/20/96 — Shannon W. Sudderth

Response:

I have an twelve year old son who will be escorting my down the aisle.  I do hate the thought of being given away or even giving myself away.  My fiance and I will together and  hopefully neither one of us will give ourselves away.

Response:

I like this: Officiant: How comes this man to this marriage? Best Man: Freely and of his own will. Officiant: How comes this woman to this marriage. M of Honor: Freely, and of her own will. Then it goes on from there…. — –Amanda Look for us at http://www.hotcoupons.com

Response:

For the people who wanted alternate "who gives this woman away?" kind of thing…. The nicest one I heard was… Celebrant (or whatever) : "Who gives this woman away?" Father: "With her mother’s blessing and my own, she gives herself." I liked it so much I will probably use it myeslf Kita ( & Mark) 19-01-97.   Posts to me or email welcome. I am new here, and looking forward to discussing weddings with people not likely to yawn and give me "that’s nice dear" looks!!!

Response:

I really like that one.  I was trying to find alternative ways of doing this myself.  I was thinking that after my father walked me down the aisle my mother would stand up as well and when the officiant asked they would say together "We do."  Does anyone else have opinions on this idea? Amy & Mike (4-26-97)

Response:

As an officiant I’ve left this out of the service A LOT.  I suppose you could do something like ask all those present to affirm the choice these two people have made (answer:  We do), or something like that.  Meg (& Paul) November 9, 1996

: >What happens at this point in the service if the bride and groom are not : >being "given away" by anyone? : > : >Peace, : > : >Barbara (and Tamara, 6/20/98) : Barbara, : What’s your reference?  Without knowing specifically to what you refer, : I’d only ask why those words would even be in the service if there is no : need for them.  The phrase seems to be ‘omittable’ if it has no point or : place. : -Barb : 8/16/96 : "If you’re ever in a jam, here I am." : Soon to be The Dreaded Mother-in-Law   ACK!!– Fifteen days and I still need 30 regrets……Due date for responses was Monday..Got two more regrets yesterday.  About 28 invites outstanding out of 160!  I’m making phone calls.  BTW, the radio commercial  for the jam runs this week: "Gedney has a brand new State Fair Jam — you’ll love it!!"  They were surprised I can sing!  "-)

Response:

> What happens at this point in the service if the bride and groom are not > being "given away" by anyone? > Peace, > Barbara (and Tamara, 6/20/98)

At my sister’s wedding, where none of the parents were involved in a blessing or a ‘giving away’, the bride and groom walked up to the altar (on opposite aisles) and simply started the ceremony.  I don’t think anyone noticed anything odd once they realized my Dad wasn’t escorting the bride.  Things just rolled along. (Not that I remember very well, I was crying the whole time, and trying like hell not to drop the groom’s wedding ring — I was the ‘overly sentimental’ MOH.) Yours, Barbara B.E. Warner Dal Law – Class of ‘99

Response:

A. Thomas) writes: >Hi all, >I need some alternate statements for "Who gives this bride away".  I >would like something that would include both families, for example "Who >blesses this union".  At which time someone from both families would >stand and say "We do". >Debbie (& Dwight) >Dec. 21, 1996

We have decided (and I am saying we, when it really was me) to have what is called an "affirmation of the community."  I have the unusual real dad vs. step dad who was around more – but don’t want to hurt real dad’s feeling thing happening.  Not to mention that I am pretty independent by now and I am not really being given away… Anyway, ours is at the end of the ceremony and the judge will address the audience with something like this: We now have an opportunity to share our love and support with "Your names here".  Show your support by answering "We will."  Will you love and support "your names here" on their journey into their life together? We will! Ta da! There you have it.  Support from the community and no giving away!!!!  Hope it helps! Jessica and David 14 September 1996 <— New to alt.weddings, but I figured out how to end my posts!!!

Response:

>What happens at this point in the service if the bride and groom are not >being "given away" by anyone? >Peace, >Barbara (and Tamara, 6/20/98)

Barbara, What’s your reference?  Without knowing specifically to what you refer, I’d only ask why those words would even be in the service if there is no need for them.  The phrase seems to be ‘omittable’ if it has no point or place. -Barb 8/16/96 "If you’re ever in a jam, here I am." Soon to be The Dreaded Mother-in-Law   ACK!!– Fifteen days and I still need 30 regrets……Due date for responses was Monday..Got two more regrets yesterday.  About 28 invites outstanding out of 160!  I’m making phone calls.  BTW, the radio commercial for the jam runs this week: "Gedney has a brand new State Fair Jam — you’ll love it!!"  They were surprised I can sing!  "-)

Response:

We did something like that. After the officiant asked me "Do you take this man …." and I said "I will," and the same for him, she asked the parents to stand. She asked my parents "Will you accept this man into your family, as the husband of your daughter and the father of your grandchildren" and they said "We will," and the same for Dale’s dad. I forget the exact phrasing but it worked really well. She then asked everyone to show their approval by standing. —

Response:

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -(HollyLewis) writes: >We are having a civil ceremony and we wanted to include not only both >families, but everyone present. >We’re having the officiant make a little speech about how the decision to >get legally and publicly married is a momentous one in this day and age >and the reason Ken and I are doing it is in the hope that our "new legal >and social bonds" will strengthen the bond of love we already have.  Then >he asks the assembled family and friends, on our behalf, to support us and >uphold our marriage.  They say (we hope) "We will!"  If anybody wants the >exact language, email me. >Holly (& Ken) >8/25/96

We did almost the exact same thing!!! Annie & Brian The Larkins (est. September 2, 1995) "’Tisn’t life that matters!  "Tis the courage you bring to it." — Hugh Walpole

Response:

>I need some alternate statements for "Who gives this bride away".  I >would like something that would include both families, for example "Who >blesses this union".  At which time someone from both families would >stand and say "We do". >Debbie (& Dwight) >Dec. 21, 1996

Your example is great. We are having a civil ceremony and we wanted to include not only both families, but everyone present. We’re having the officiant make a little speech about how the decision to get legally and publicly married is a momentous one in this day and age and the reason Ken and I are doing it is in the hope that our "new legal and social bonds" will strengthen the bond of love we already have.  Then he asks the assembled family and friends, on our behalf, to support us and uphold our marriage.  They say (we hope) "We will!"  If anybody wants the exact language, email me. Holly (& Ken) 8/25/96

Response:

What happens at this point in the service if the bride and groom are not being "given away" by anyone? Peace, Barbara (and Tamara, 6/20/98)

Response:

I need some alternate statements for "Who gives this bride away".  I would like something that would include both families, for example "Who blesses this union".  At which time someone from both families would stand and say "We do". Debbie, Here is what happens in our ceremony (Presbyterian) at the time when another ceremony might ask "who gives this woman" or something like that: Minister: "(Name of bridal escort or family members), do you give your blessing to (bride) and (groom), and promise to do everything in your power to uphold them in their marriage?" Families/escort/whomever: "I (we) give my (our) blessing and promise my (our) support." OR Families/escort/whomever: "I (We) do." My dad is just going to say "I do," because I think that’s all he’ll be able to manage through his tears! Hope this helps! Megna (& Kevin)-12/7/96

Response:

>Hi all, >I need some alternate statements for "Who gives this bride away".  I >would like something that would include both families, for example "Who >blesses this union".  At which time someone from both families would >stand and say "We do". >Debbie (& Dwight) >Dec. 21, 1996

Hi Debbie…    Stan and I used the phrase, "Who blesses the union of this woman and this man." My father replied, "Her mother and I do."  His parents didn’t want to say anything, although they did bless our union! Beth

Response:

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->Hi all, >I need some alternate statements for "Who gives this bride away".  I >would like something that would include both families, for example "Who >blesses this union".  At which time someone from both families would >stand and say "We do". >Debbie (& Dwight) >Dec. 21, 1996 > Hi Debbie… >    Stan and I used the phrase, "Who blesses the union of this woman and this man." > My father replied, "Her mother and I do."  His parents didn’t want to say anything, > although they did bless our union! > Beth

we’re using something to the effect of… "who supports this couple as they enter into their new life together." to which all parents will answer we do and light their unity candle tapers

Response:

>Hi all, >I need some alternate statements for "Who gives this bride away".  I >would like something that would include both families, for example "Who >blesses this union".  At which time someone from both families would >stand and say "We do". >Debbie (& Dwight) >Dec. 21, 1996

Right here, right here…. Her Holiness The Pastress says this:  Who presents this couple for the service of marriage? All the applicable parents respond:  We do. Then she continues: Will you pledge your support to Raggedy Ann and Andy in their new relationship?  Will you share with them in the fellowship and joy of their new home?  Will you be with them in their times of need, or when they seek your help? And we say:  Ya, sure, you betcha!  Ooops, "we will." And then she says, "Who then will be responsible for the bride’s phone bill, her makeup, her dental work, and her YWCA membership… And WE say, "HE will!!!"   Yea!!! OK, so I made up the last part! -Barb 8/15/96 "If you’re ever in a jam, here I am." Soon to be The Dreaded Mother-in-Law   ACK!!– Sixteen days and I still need 30 regrets……Due date for responses was Monday…About 30 invites outstanding out of 160!  I’ll start calling today.  BTW, the radio commercial for the jam runs this week: "Gedney has a brand new State Fair Jam — you’ll love it!!"  They were surprised I can sing!  "-)

Response:

>Hi all, >I need some alternate statements for "Who gives this bride away".  I >would like something that would include both families, for example "Who >blesses this union".  At which time someone from both families would >stand and say "We do". >Debbie (& Dwight) >Dec. 21, 1996

Hi Debbie, We had our minister ask both our parents if they would support us in our marriage in what was termed "the Parting of the Parents".  I was not given away, but we both got our parents blessing (the minister basically asked will you support your children in this marriage and then they answer "We do – God helping us").  Hope this helps. Jacinda "Pinky are you pondering what I’m pondering?" – The Brain

Response:

Hi all, I need some alternate statements for "Who gives this bride away".  I would like something that would include both families, for example "Who blesses this union".  At which time someone from both families would stand and say "We do". Debbie (& Dwight) Dec. 21, 1996

Response:

Filed under: Mens Wedding Rings