Wedding Rings

Non-diamond ring?

Question:

I  have been enagaged for about 6 months and I don’t have a ring but we did go shoppin that’s the mystry bout it you don’t know when he is gunna propose again with the ring I really don’t think it should matter what kind of ring you get as long as it’s what you both deside to get and that’s what you both like .. your wearin it not someone else. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Hi David! > You most certainly can propose without a ring.  My fiance spent a very > long time finding the stone for my ring (a green diamond — yes there > are other colors than white!), then we designed the ring together.  It > was a realy fun process, and even though I knew exactly what the ring > looked like, he still managed to surprise me with his proposal!! > Incidently, my parents alos designed my mother’s engagement ring as > well. > Regarless of your decision, if you and your beloved want a stone ring, > make sure you consider the stone’s hardness.  Someone else mentioned > that opals are fragile.  Emeralds are quite brittle and easily broken, > and tanzanite, the beautiful blue-purple stone that is quite popular > now, is also too soft for everyday wear, according to my jeweler.  In my > opinion, rubies and saphires, which come a variety of colors, are very > good stone choices, being a 9 on the hardness scale.  (For reference, > diamonds are a 10.) > Godd luck with your decision!  And congratulations! > Mickey > Thanks very much for all your advice. > [Beth]… Wow.. green tourmaline… sounds very exotic and beautiful. > I think I’m going to have to look into lesser-known stones like that. > Which means more time… and I want to propose soon. I’m impatient! > [All] Can I propose before buying a ring and then go ring-hunting with > my intended? Not because I’m worried about choosing (I think I know > her taste), but because I think it would be fun. > What does anyone think? We know each other very well, but does anyone > think it’s unromantic? > David NYC > > You have to go with what you like. > > My wife and I both like rubies, so that’s what we got. > > Gav & Jo > > (24.04.99) > Before you buy.

Response:

Regardless, there are a few good web sites to check out stone color…green stones, brown stones, etc…each stone, including peridot, tourmaline, tsavorite, has a lot of different shades and it’s really a matter of personal preference, size, shape, budget, etc.  There are also sample prices for different sizes and shapes, although it’s obviously hard to distinguish quality.   www.gemstone.org and www.africagems.com are two good sites, and they also talk about properties, strengths, etc. (and I DON’T work in the industry)  One of the reasons that we chose tsavorite was that it was very strong and durable, unlike emeralds, or opals, which I also love.   We had fun looking at different stones, although the final ring (and stone) was a surprise (Note:  of course, the shades on the screen do not translate exactly, but it can give an idea of what’s available)

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> If its green you’re looking towards, yet another alternative is > peridot.  Tsavorite is inordinately expensive.  If you choose a nice > shade of peridot, it looks JUST like tsavorite. > * Sent from RemarQ http://www.remarq.com The Internet’s Discussion Network * > The fastest and easiest way to search and participate in Usenet – Free!

Response:

If its green you’re looking towards, yet another alternative is peridot.  Tsavorite is inordinately expensive.  If you choose a nice shade of peridot, it looks JUST like tsavorite. * Sent from RemarQ http://www.remarq.com The Internet’s Discussion Network * The fastest and easiest way to search and participate in Usenet – Free!

Response:

David – I have a tsavorite, which is a green garnet.  It’s stronger than an emerald. We also considered green tourmaline.  While the ring itself was a surprise, Jerry asked me for several months what I thought of this or that type of stone.  I love it!!!!  I’m not a diamond person either, although they can be lovely, it just wasn’t "us." = Jennifer (to Jerry, March 25, 2000)

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Thanks very much for all your advice. > [Beth]… Wow.. green tourmaline… sounds very exotic and beautiful. > I think I’m going to have to look into lesser-known stones like that. > Which means more time… and I want to propose soon. I’m impatient! > [All] Can I propose before buying a ring and then go ring-hunting with > my intended? Not because I’m worried about choosing (I think I know > her taste), but because I think it would be fun. > What does anyone think? We know each other very well, but does anyone > think it’s unromantic? > David NYC > You have to go with what you like. > My wife and I both like rubies, so that’s what we got. > Gav & Jo > (24.04.99) > Before you buy.

Response:

You have to go with what you like. My wife and I both like rubies, so that’s what we got. Gav & Jo (24.04.99)

Response:

Thanks very much for all your advice. [Beth]… Wow.. green tourmaline… sounds very exotic and beautiful. I think I’m going to have to look into lesser-known stones like that. Which means more time… and I want to propose soon. I’m impatient! [All] Can I propose before buying a ring and then go ring-hunting with my intended? Not because I’m worried about choosing (I think I know her taste), but because I think it would be fun. What does anyone think? We know each other very well, but does anyone think it’s unromantic? David NYC > You have to go with what you like. > My wife and I both like rubies, so that’s what we got. > Gav & Jo > (24.04.99)

Before you buy.

Response:

My intended (I bought the ring but haven’t proposed yet) and I have been "ring shopping" for months now.  Basically she loves looking so we always stop in jewelry stores.  You could do that now, before you propose, without giving away that you intend to do it soon. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Thanks very much for all your advice. > [Beth]… Wow.. green tourmaline… sounds very exotic and beautiful. > I think I’m going to have to look into lesser-known stones like that. > Which means more time… and I want to propose soon. I’m impatient! > [All] Can I propose before buying a ring and then go ring-hunting with > my intended? Not because I’m worried about choosing (I think I know > her taste), but because I think it would be fun. > What does anyone think? We know each other very well, but does anyone > think it’s unromantic? > David NYC > You have to go with what you like. > My wife and I both like rubies, so that’s what we got. > Gav & Jo > (24.04.99) > Before you buy.

Before you buy.

Response:

David, Two points on the giving-a-ring-at-the-moment-of-proposal – First Point: In my opinion, it’s o.k. not to. Ben and I got engaged in Ireland this summer and while he *did* give me a ring, it was the meaning behind the ring rather than the fact of the ring that made the difference. Let me explain briefly: Long ago, Ben had given me a traditional Irish friendship / engagement / wedding ring made of silver (called a Claddagh). When we were in Ireland, he proposed in the Claddagh village with a new Claddagh made of white gold. The fact that he had carried this ring from the States, specifically to propose to me there and that the jeweler (a friend of the family) had made it for me, made it a very special moment. My point is, you can make the moment special without a ring. Tell her that you would enjoy shopping with her and then you can start looking for your ring, too. (should you decide to wear one.) Note: After the wedding, I will wear the Claddagh on my right hand and not as a wedding ring. We are having my wedding ring designed with the tourmaline. Second Point: While you may think you know what your future bride likes….but don’t be too sure. I told Ben that there was only one wedding ring for me. I had seen it over a year before the proposal, when out shopping with a girlfriend for her wedding. We went to the store the day after we returned to the States and, lo and behold….didn’t like it on my hand! Had the same experience when shopping for my wedding dress. Beth

Response:

> Thanks very much for all your advice. > [Beth]… Wow.. green tourmaline… sounds very exotic and beautiful. > I think I’m going to have to look into lesser-known stones like that. > Which means more time… and I want to propose soon. I’m impatient! > [All] Can I propose before buying a ring and then go ring-hunting with > my intended? Not because I’m worried about choosing (I think I know > her taste), but because I think it would be fun. > What does anyone think? We know each other very well, but does anyone > think it’s unromantic?

Hi David – Yes, you can certainly propose before buying and then go ring-hunting. I wish that’s what we had done. Instead, my ‘intended’ (lovely expression) and I decided to shop beforehand….and got completely overwhelmed with  our choices. As a result, we’re ‘officially’ announcing our engagement a full year later than we wanted to!!! Liz

Response:

> I think I’m going to have to look into lesser-known stones like that. > Which means more time… and I want to propose soon. I’m impatient!

Not really… you should be able to buy a lovely ring in a less common stone in just about any jewellers.  If they don’t have it in stock, most can get it in only a couple of weeks.  Mine’s a blue topaz set in white gold.  I’ve never liked white diamonds particularly.  Pretty but boring, IMO. There are many less well-known stones out there that are lovely, but please consider that your bride-to-be will probably want to wear her ring every day so choose something hardwearing.  Sapphires are available in several colours, including some lovely shades of green. Peridots are lovely, and so are aquamarines – a good aquamarine is a uniquely beautiful stone. Just get out there and see what you like the look of!  And good luck! -Elena

Response:

Hi David! You most certainly can propose without a ring.  My fiance spent a very long time finding the stone for my ring (a green diamond — yes there are other colors than white!), then we designed the ring together.  It was a realy fun process, and even though I knew exactly what the ring looked like, he still managed to surprise me with his proposal!! Incidently, my parents alos designed my mother’s engagement ring as well. Regarless of your decision, if you and your beloved want a stone ring, make sure you consider the stone’s hardness.  Someone else mentioned that opals are fragile.  Emeralds are quite brittle and easily broken, and tanzanite, the beautiful blue-purple stone that is quite popular now, is also too soft for everyday wear, according to my jeweler.  In my opinion, rubies and saphires, which come a variety of colors, are very good stone choices, being a 9 on the hardness scale.  (For reference, diamonds are a 10.) Godd luck with your decision!  And congratulations! Mickey – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > Thanks very much for all your advice. > [Beth]… Wow.. green tourmaline… sounds very exotic and beautiful. > I think I’m going to have to look into lesser-known stones like that. > Which means more time… and I want to propose soon. I’m impatient! > [All] Can I propose before buying a ring and then go ring-hunting with > my intended? Not because I’m worried about choosing (I think I know > her taste), but because I think it would be fun. > What does anyone think? We know each other very well, but does anyone > think it’s unromantic? > David NYC > You have to go with what you like. > My wife and I both like rubies, so that’s what we got. > Gav & Jo > (24.04.99) > Before you buy.

Response:

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> I want to get my fiancee an engagement ring that has a gem other than a > diamond. (Diamond trade is often a dirty business in Africa–don’t want > to support it). > Any ideas? > Are there any gems that are a traditional alternative to diamonds? > Ruby, sapphire? > The *most* traditional alternative is a ring with the bride’s birth > stone. Before diamonds became the standard (which, despite the diamond > industry’s claims that this happened in the 15th century, actually > occurred at the beginning of the 20th century), there was no one > traditional stone for engagement rings. Sapphires became popular when > Lady Di had a sapphire engagement ring in the early 1980s. > My engagement ring is an amethyst; my husband chose that stone because > he thought (correctly) that I like purple, and he knew that I don’t like > diamonds. I’m not on a crusade against them or anything, but I don’t > want to wear one, any more than I want to wear pink with ruffles. > Wende

A Ruby or a Sapphire are both nice but there are plenty of others, such as emeralds, garnets, amethysts, tanzanite, peridot….the list goes on and on. It’s true that there really wasn’t an established "traditional" stone before De Beers started their oh-so-successful marketing on diamond in this century. I say find out what stone your intended likes or go with her birthstone.  We are having a ring designed with a green tourmaline as the center stone because I have always liked them. Note: Some fun historical gemstone info for the not-so-superstitious: Emeralds are supposed to be a "jealous green" for an engagement ring and therefore bad luck. Opals are bad luck because they change color (for any time, not just at engagement) and pearls are supposed be oyster’s tears and a weepy ring foretells a weepy marriage. Oddly enough, all unluckiness is supposed to be nixed if the gem is the bride’s birthstone….folk wisdom or jeweler’s tales….you decide. Beth

Response:

I want to get my fiancee an engagement ring that has a gem other than a diamond. (Diamond trade is often a dirty business in Africa–don’t want to support it). Any ideas? Are there any gems that are a traditional alternative to diamonds? Ruby, sapphire? david Before you buy.

Response:

> I want to get my fiancee an engagement ring that has a gem other than a > diamond. (Diamond trade is often a dirty business in Africa–don’t want > to support it). > Any ideas? > Are there any gems that are a traditional alternative to diamonds? > Ruby, sapphire?

The *most* traditional alternative is a ring with the bride’s birth stone. Before diamonds became the standard (which, despite the diamond industry’s claims that this happened in the 15th century, actually occurred at the beginning of the 20th century), there was no one traditional stone for engagement rings. Sapphires became popular when Lady Di had a sapphire engagement ring in the early 1980s. My engagement ring is an amethyst; my husband chose that stone because he thought (correctly) that I like purple, and he knew that I don’t like diamonds. I’m not on a crusade against them or anything, but I don’t want to wear one, any more than I want to wear pink with ruffles. Wende

Response:

Filed under: Gold Wedding Ring