Wedding Rings

Very disappointing day for wedding plans (long)

Question:

Perhaps you could explain how your fiances brother needing to get married (because of a pregnant girlfriend) runined your wedding?  Even with his choosing a date a week prior to yours I don’t see how that effects your wedding.   I’m sure there is more to the story but with the way it sounds here that you got in a snit and called off your wedding for no good reason at all.  I’m sure that’s not how it was but it’s how it sounds.  Sorry. Susan – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> –I refuse to put the wedding off until 2003. It’s already been pushed >back > a year from 2001 to 2002 because of my fiance’s stupid brother who >(for all > basic purposes) took our wedding day. (Within a month, he met someone, >got > her pregnant, and decided to get married…during the same time we had >just > gotten engaged…and then they picked–out of the blue–the weekend >RIGHT > BEFORE the one we had planned–without even talking to us about >it…and > they could have cared less that they ruined our plans. And like I >mentioned > earlier, since we wanted to get married during the lilac festival, we >had to > push the date ahead one year!)

Response:

If you knew those two (the brother and the fiancee), you would understand more…but since I don’t really want to go into their life stories, here’s why. Basically, they are the two most selfish people in the world. They think the world revolves around them and they are both always out to get (and be the center of ) attention. The fiancee is one of those people who has to interrupt ANY story you are telling (within about 15 seconds) with a "yea me" story about herself or she has to make every conversation about her. To give you an example, this is how she introduced me to her mother for the first time, VERBATIM: "Mom, this is Jen, she has the same ring I do." (Yes, my fiance’s lovely brother went out and bought the same exact type of specialized diamond for his slutty fiance without even mentioning it to his brother or me. Another example of his shining personality.) So, if they NEEDED to get married (for the "sake of the baby"), why would they pick a date ONE AND A HALF YEARS in the future? Why not get married before the baby arrived or shortly thereafter? It was quite the coincidence they just happened to pick a date close to ours…when we had been talking about an early June wedding for awhile. We had two possible weekend options and they took one, which would obviously leave us with only one option. (Just the fact that they’re so selfish they didn’t even THINK about talking to us first pisses me off.) If I would have chosen to keep that wedding date, we would have had to cut our honeymoon short in order to be back in time for my fiance to be in his brother’s wedding–and I wasn’t about to rush our honeymoon/plans for them (I might have, though, had I actually LIKED the brother or fiancee enough to care). And there is NO way on earth they would even reconsider their date. (When we told them that the date they picked was a week after we planned on, you know what their response was? "Oh." Oh. Not Oh, really? or Oh, sorry! or Oh, let’s talk about it, maybe we can make something work. Just plain Oh.) Also, there’s the fact of having to invite the brothers’ entire family to two weddings in two weeks (which my fiance didn’t want to do). And if I had my wedding that close to hers, it would take away all of the "specialness" of it (for me and my fiance). We didn’t technically call off the wedding because we hadn’t officially announced a date, so for all general purposes, I guess you could just say we postponed it. I hope that helps. Susiemw wrote … | Perhaps you could explain how your fiances brother needing to get married | (because of a pregnant girlfriend) runined your wedding?  Even with his | choosing a date a week prior to yours I don’t see how that effects your | wedding. | |   I’m sure there is more to the story but with the way it sounds here that you | got in a snit and called off your wedding for no good reason at all.  I’m sure | that’s not how it was but it’s how it sounds.  Sorry. | | Susan | | | > | >> –I refuse to put the wedding off until 2003. It’s already been pushed | >back | >> a year from 2001 to 2002 because of my fiance’s stupid brother who | >(for all | >> basic purposes) took our wedding day. (Within a month, he met someone, | >got | >> her pregnant, and decided to get married…during the same time we had | >just | >> gotten engaged…and then they picked–out of the blue–the weekend | >RIGHT | >> BEFORE the one we had planned–without even talking to us about | >it…and | >> they could have cared less that they ruined our plans. And like I | >mentioned | >> earlier, since we wanted to get married during the lilac festival, we | >had to | >> push the date ahead one year!) | >> | |

Response:

> >(Yes, >my fiance’s lovely brother went out and bought the same exact type of >specialized diamond for his slutty fiance without even mentioning it to his >brother or me. > Why should he mention it to either of you? It’s not like he gave the ring to > either of you! Plenty of people buy similar rings every day. Just because you > have a certain ring doesn’t mean it’s copyrighted. Get over yourself!

And note that admiring her ring enough to want one just like it is considered a sign of appalling taste… Wende Before you buy.

Response:

>(Yes, >my fiance’s lovely brother went out and bought the same exact type of >specialized diamond for his slutty fiance without even mentioning it to his >brother or me.

Why should he mention it to either of you? It’s not like he gave the ring to either of you! Plenty of people buy similar rings every day. Just because you have a certain ring doesn’t mean it’s copyrighted. Get over yourself! >So, if they NEEDED to get married (for the "sake of the baby"), why would >they pick a date ONE AND A HALF YEARS in the future?

So she would look lovely in a big white poofy dress since she’ll have lost all of the baby weight and the baby will be big enough to be cute when it toddles down the aisle! >We had two possible weekend options and they took one, which would obviously >leave us with only one option.

No, you can still have your wedding on the other weekend if you want to. Stop thinking the world revolves around you! >Also, >there’s the fact of having to invite the brothers’ entire family to two >weddings in two weeks (which my fiance didn’t want to do).

Your wedding is first. If the family wants to come, they will. And, they would probably come to the one that was first! >And if I had my >wedding that close to hers, it would take away all of the "specialness" of >it (for me and my fiance).

Then you have a major problem. Your wedding should be special because of your relationship with your fiance – not becuase of what anyone else does. If you can’t see that, you have bigger problems than your own selfishness and immaturity. Ron Ng Knows!

Response:

>–We picked Mackinac Island in June because I love lilacs and we decided to >get married during the lilac festival…hence the June date and not wanting >to pick an early spring or fall date (when the lilacs aren’t in bloom

Macinac is beuatiful, I’ll give you that, but have you thought about other expenses than the luncheon? Like the ferry ride to the island for your guests? Lodging? I don’t know what part of MI you’re in, but it takes at least 4 hours (5 if i’m not mistaking) from the metro detroit area to get to Macinac city. Then add the time to get on the ferry get across…etc etc. Just some logistic things to think about.

Response:

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> –We picked Mackinac Island in June because I love lilacs and we decided to > get married during the lilac festival…hence the June date and not wanting > to pick an early spring or fall date (when the lilacs aren’t in bloom). > –The food/room minimums are the same regardless which day you choose (I > made sure to ask that). The only thing that changes is daytime to nighttime, > and daytime is still 2/3 of the nighttime cost. (Hence, the room we want > would only be $6,000 instead of $9,000.) > –It would be minimum $6750 for the room and gazebo we want, regardless of > the food we choose (i.e., if we only spend $500 on food, then the room costs > us $5,500 to equal the $6,000 fee). > –I’m afraid if we did things like sell something or cut out cable, we’d > just use the money to pay current bills (we are not bad in CC debt, only > about $1,000 each) and then we wouldn’t be saving it for the wedding. > –I like the idea of buying our own gazebo, but we won’t have our house for > awhile yet, so that means good ol’ ma and pa would get to store it for us, > along with all the other crap I still have there. > –We really honestly can’t cut our guest list. If we did, it would have to > just be parents and siblings, otherwise the next step is their brothers and > sisters (our aunts and uncles) which balloons things immediately since there > are like 15 aunts/uncles/families between us. And we cannot get away with > just the parents and siblings. And then that’s not even counting friends > that MUST be invited. > –I refuse to put the wedding off until 2003. It’s already been pushed back > a year from 2001 to 2002 because of my fiance’s stupid brother who (for all > basic purposes) took our wedding day. (Within a month, he met someone, got > her pregnant, and decided to get married…during the same time we had just > gotten engaged…and then they picked–out of the blue–the weekend RIGHT > BEFORE the one we had planned–without even talking to us about it…and > they could have cared less that they ruined our plans. And like I mentioned > earlier, since we wanted to get married during the lilac festival, we had to > push the date ahead one year!) > I think that’s all. Thanks for the responses…keep them coming! > Jen

If you can come up with the money, it sounds like a dream wedding. Since the room is $6K either way, go for expensive food, you might as well use up the $6000 allowance. There is one other option if it is just too expensive.  Hold onto your dream for a bit longer, but get married now. Pick a less expensive place. Invite all the relatives, you can even get married next fall instead of spring. Save that wonderful lilac experience for your 10 anniversary or your 40th birthday or some other special occasion when you can afford it.  Other advantages to this option are an anniversary or birthday party does not involve the "must invite" relative list, you can truely invite who you want and if the big white dress is not your most flattering option you can wear whatever is. In some families weddings are a family event, children required.  Other parties don’t have those rules and associated hurt feelings. My husband rented a yacht that cruised the San Francisco bay for my surprise 40th birthday party and invited 70 of my closest friends. I wore a black leather dress (it is impossible to feel old in leather). This party was much more extravagant than our wedding, but we can afford it now, and it feels just as special.  Your wedding you are going to remember no matter what, but that shouldn’t be your last big extravaganza. Cathy Before you buy.

Response:

> world.people who spend 20,000 on a wedding have memories and bills for > years to come.  

Not all of them.  Some have 98% of the wedding paid off before they leave for their honeymoon and the rest paid off within a couple of months after the honeymoon.   Jan — jan(at)panix.com                       http://www.couchtigers.com :Silicon Valley Friends of Ferals : CAT:  A pigmy lion that loves : :  http://www.svff.org            :       mice, hates dogs, and   : :Mary Kay Cosmetics, Inc.         :       patronizes human beings.: :  http://www.mymk.com/jcordes    :         –Oliver Herford      :

Response:

and that is no one’s business except theirs —

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->>people who spend 20,000 on a wedding have memories and bills for years to >> come. >…or they have exceptionally generous parents and have saved money to pay >for it. > Or they are rich and didn’t have to save at all! > Ron Ng Knows!

Response:

>people who spend 20,000 on a wedding have memories and bills for years to > come.

…or they have exceptionally generous parents and have saved money to pay for it.  Just because we’re spending a lot doesn’t mean we’re going into debt.  Just like many people, we’re throwing a party we’re happy with that’s within our budget. — Melissa [The big day is March 18, 2001]

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Is the resort the Grand Hotel on Mackinac Island, MI?  I just saw it on America’s Castles or the Grand Tour on A&E. If that’s the place you’re talking about it—my word it’s simply glorious.  No wonder you want to get married there. If we lived in the area—I think Johnny would photograph the wedding for free just to be able to work in such a great location. Best of luck working your plans out Maggie J. Lawrence Photography Auburn, AL

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Response:

>>people who spend 20,000 on a wedding have memories and bills for years to > come. >…or they have exceptionally generous parents and have saved money to pay >for it.  

Or they are rich and didn’t have to save at all! Ron Ng Knows!

Response:

No, actually, it was going to be Mission Point. I’d hate to think of how much more the Grand Hotel would be… Wow. We didn’t even consider that to be anywhere NEAR our budget!!

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Is the resort the Grand Hotel on Mackinac Island, MI?  I just saw it on > America’s Castles or the Grand Tour on A&E. > If that’s the place you’re talking about it—my word it’s simply glorious.  No > wonder you want to get married there. > If we lived in the area—I think Johnny would photograph the wedding for free > just to be able to work in such a great location. > Best of luck working your plans out > Maggie > J. Lawrence Photography > Auburn, AL

Response:

I agree, Jen, but I didn’t mention it because we have a free connection (no cable in this area yet, unfortunately). And Callwave is only 75c/month, which I don’t think is going to break the bank in any case! Jen wrote … – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->Cut out certain luxuries (cable, internet, second phone line, etc.) >until after the wedding. > Well, ok, but *internet* is NOT a luxury… it’s a necessity!!! > That’s my story, dammit, and I’m sticking to it!!!   <G> > Jen > (to Rob, April 29, 2001) > — > Windows is to real operating systems as the Discworld is to reality. >   –  Jay Mottern, a.t-s.r > http://home.austin.rr.com/robandjen/

Response:

In a previous article, sugarprincess said… > So I’m at a total loss because I REFUSE to go into debt for a wedding.

This is a good thing.  There have been many good responses so far – get a second job and earmark the monies for the wedding.  Sell some- thing off and put the money in a money market fund.  Cut out certain luxuries (cable, internet, second phone line, etc.) until after the wedding. Or, just understand that you may have Ferrari tastes on a Hyundai budget.  You wouldn’t be the only one. Good luck! — Joe Pucillo                          http://www.JoePucillo.com Baltimore, Maryland  USA To reply by email, please remove the .xx from the address.

Response:

Thanks for all the ideas. I know it’s probably not as bad as I think it is, it’s just very fresh since it’s all happening today… Just a few quick things I didn’t mention before because I didn’t want my post to be TOO long…and in response to others’ posts: –We picked Mackinac Island in June because I love lilacs and we decided to get married during the lilac festival…hence the June date and not wanting to pick an early spring or fall date (when the lilacs aren’t in bloom). –The food/room minimums are the same regardless which day you choose (I made sure to ask that). The only thing that changes is daytime to nighttime, and daytime is still 2/3 of the nighttime cost. (Hence, the room we want would only be $6,000 instead of $9,000.) –It would be minimum $6750 for the room and gazebo we want, regardless of the food we choose (i.e., if we only spend $500 on food, then the room costs us $5,500 to equal the $6,000 fee). –I’m afraid if we did things like sell something or cut out cable, we’d just use the money to pay current bills (we are not bad in CC debt, only about $1,000 each) and then we wouldn’t be saving it for the wedding. –I like the idea of buying our own gazebo, but we won’t have our house for awhile yet, so that means good ol’ ma and pa would get to store it for us, along with all the other crap I still have there. –We really honestly can’t cut our guest list. If we did, it would have to just be parents and siblings, otherwise the next step is their brothers and sisters (our aunts and uncles) which balloons things immediately since there are like 15 aunts/uncles/families between us. And we cannot get away with just the parents and siblings. And then that’s not even counting friends that MUST be invited. –I refuse to put the wedding off until 2003. It’s already been pushed back a year from 2001 to 2002 because of my fiance’s stupid brother who (for all basic purposes) took our wedding day. (Within a month, he met someone, got her pregnant, and decided to get married…during the same time we had just gotten engaged…and then they picked–out of the blue–the weekend RIGHT BEFORE the one we had planned–without even talking to us about it…and they could have cared less that they ruined our plans. And like I mentioned earlier, since we wanted to get married during the lilac festival, we had to push the date ahead one year!) I think that’s all. Thanks for the responses…keep them coming! Jen

Response:

I understand what you are going through. In July my FH and I decided to get married this December (2000). This week, we significantly changed our plans for a variety of reasons: cost, stress, personal preferences. Throughout this whole thing, we try to keep in mind that our main goal is to get married. My FH swore that he couldn’t cut his guest list, but we reduced the entire list by 25 percent this week because I really wanted something more intimate. We are not having a ceremony at a place of worship like we originally intended and are now doing everything at the reception site. We will spend more money than we wanted to, but we haven’t gone overboard. We both had to get in touch with what our visions were for a wedding and also do a little bit of re-visioning. It’s good that you are finding all of this out now about the resort where you wanted to have the wedding. You have a LOT of time to do some re-visioning and come up with something else. Or maybe you can work something out with the resort. Don’t give up. Many engaged couples have to go "back to the drawing board." I’m sure that you will be able to come up with something lovely. You may have to think outside the box a bit, but I am finding that to be good preparation for marriage. Good luck– KM Before you buy.

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<< With the lunch that > we were planning on having for about 200 people ($3,000), it would still > cost us an additional $3,000 to rent the room! (You MUST meet the minimum > room cost. If our food happened to go over the $6,000, the room would be > free.) And all events on the property must be catered by the resort. And the > gazebo rental is another $750 plus tax… And the list goes on and on…

Now, the other option that you might want to consider is – take a deep breath — finding a different site.  I have no idea what Mackinac Island is like, but I do know that the few photos I’ve seen are very scenic and pretty, and I also think that there are many nearby touristy and pretty areas that can be good options.  To be honest, if you find a site you like near one of the bays, >> Mackinac Island is a beautiful location to be sure.  The resort there is a national landmark.  BUT, keep in mind that it is a seasonal resort which does not really draw revenue year round.  The winter months see a substantial reduction in visitors and the resulting drop in income.  Because of that the resort has to "make hay while the sun shines" and will charge higher rates with take-it-or-leave-it conditions during their *season*.  It’s the law of supply and demand.  We have the same problem here in California with the resorts on Catalina Island.  While you can get there year around the summer season is the island’s money-maker and the hotels have two or three-day minimum stays at high rates, etc.  Many of my clients plan their weddings "off-season" in the fall or winter months here to avoid those higher seasonal prices on Catalina.  While winter might not work for you, you might want to inquire what their rates are in the fall after Labor Day or the spring before Memorial Day.  Fall and spring are really beautiful in Michigan and it could save you some big money and give you the wedding you have dreamed of. Hope this helps. Best regards, Rick Rosen Newport Beach, CA www.rickrosen.com

Response:

What day is the wedding?  If you are not set on your wedding date and haven’t made any other plans here is a suggestion… I am getting married on a Sunday night rather than a Saturday night.  One of the biggest reasons was that the place I wanted to have the reception (top of the IDS in Minneapolis) had a food and drink minimum that I saw no way of meeting on Saturday night with the amount of people I wanted to invite.  It was like $6500.  I found out that their minimum drops by $2000 if you have it on a Sunday night instead. Just an idea… Sab – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > I must say today has been a very disappointing day for me… I’ve been > thinking about my wedding plans for the past year (since we got engaged) and > I just knew where I wanted my wedding and reception. We even visited the > site and talked to a wedding coordinator. Of course, in my head, everything > was perfect: a mid-afternoon wedding at the lakefront gazebo, a brief > carriage ride, and a luncheon reception immediately following in the > resort’s dining room. (We picked lunch because we cannot afford dinner > prices by any means.) In the chat we had with the coordinator, she made > everything sound very easy and affordable. So, for the past seven months > I’ve been picturing everything and looking forward to making real plans (I > wasn’t ready for in-depth planning because the wedding isn’t until 2002 and > I couldn’t make reservations until one year prior). However, I finally > decided to contact the resort and now just to be ahead of the game > and….drum roll…. now all my plans are pretty much down the toilet!! > Simply, each banquet room has a cost threshold that is WAY above what we can > afford with the number of guests we have. (Their rooms are either for 250 or > 100–nothing in between–so we need the biggest room.) With the lunch that > we were planning on having for about 200 people ($3,000), it would still > cost us an additional $3,000 to rent the room! (You MUST meet the minimum > room cost. If our food happened to go over the $6,000, the room would be > free.) And all events on the property must be catered by the resort. And the > gazebo rental is another $750 plus tax… And the list goes on and on… > Why not just change the plans and get married/have the reception somewhere > else? Well, I want to be married in the gazebo if nothing else. I just love > it there. (On Mackinac Island, MI, if you’re wondering.) I’m looking at > other places to have the reception on the island, but then that would > necessitate trying to move 200 people to an off-site location (more money). > And not many places have room for 200 people (there are a lot of B&Bs). And > it’s nearly impossible to cut the guest list down as I have remarried > parents (i.e., four families–just on my side). > So I’m at a total loss because I REFUSE to go into debt for a wedding. I > might borrow $1,000, but I’m not doing the $10,000+ thing. I have $4,000 > from my parents to work with plus whatever my fiance and I can > contribute…and that’s that. > Thanks for listening.

Response:

>Cut out certain luxuries (cable, internet, second phone line, etc.) >until after the wedding.

Well, ok, but *internet* is NOT a luxury… it’s a necessity!!! That’s my story, dammit, and I’m sticking to it!!!   <G> Jen (to Rob, April 29, 2001) — Windows is to real operating systems as the Discworld is to reality.   –  Jay Mottern, a.t-s.r http://home.austin.rr.com/robandjen/

Response:

> –I’m afraid if we did things like sell something or cut out cable, we’d > just use the money to pay current bills (we are not bad in CC debt, only > about $1,000 each) and then we wouldn’t be saving it for the wedding.

Ah, but that’s about half of what your parents are donating to the party.  That’s a good sum of money in these circumstances, taking into consideration about how much you’re short for the venue.  To cut expenses, I’d cut cable (as if you have a lot of time to watch these days??), and brown bag the lunches with generic food, but I’d keep the internet connection, that’s just me.  I would go for paying off the debt; I’ve never heard anybody say they regretted paying off debt. In your situation, I’d keep the guests, definitely.  Also I wouldn’t postpone the wedding, (you’re in LOVE, you want to get MARRIED more than you want lilacs.)  Personally, I would forgo the lilacs, but that’s just me, also.  They seem to be important, and in that case, I would save up very carefully to get there, you still have time.  And think of how proud you’ll be if you have your lilacs that you accomplished yourself, on your own, with your savings.  Or if you have the time, see if you could simulate this place, get the right bushes, gazebo, etc. to a place that’s inexpensive and provide your own inexpensive snacks. Best Wishes Before you buy.

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>–I’m afraid if we did things like sell something or cut out cable, we’d >just use the money to pay current bills (we are not bad in CC debt, only >about $1,000 each) and then we wouldn’t be saving it for the wedding.

You’d be getting rid of debt. If you get rid of your debt, you’ll be much better off. Ron Ng Knows!

Response:

Put a budget on the table and stick closely to it.  for 4,000 you can have a fantastic luncheon somewhere, spend these months finding the somewhere.  Do not allow yourself to be thrown into the hype.  Its a party not the end of the world.people who spend 20,000 on a wedding have memories and bills for years to come.  Try and have just memories.

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I agree with your theory of putting a budget together and sticking to it but can’t say I agree with your assessment of people who pay 20,000 for their weddings.  I have this kind of budget but won’t have any debt after the wedding.  We have saved for it. Sab – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > Put a budget on the table and stick closely to it.  for 4,000 you can have a > fantastic luncheon somewhere, spend these months finding the somewhere.  Do not > allow yourself to be thrown into the hype.  Its a party not the end of the > world.people who spend 20,000 on a wedding have memories and bills for years to > come.  Try and have just memories.

Response:

> Simply, each banquet room has a cost threshold that is WAY above what we can > afford with the number of guests we have. (Their rooms are either for 250 or > 100–nothing in between–so we need the biggest room.) With the lunch that > we were planning on having for about 200 people ($3,000), it would still > cost us an additional $3,000 to rent the room! (You MUST meet the minimum > room cost. If our food happened to go over the $6,000, the room would be > free.) And all events on the property must be catered by the resort. And the > gazebo rental is another $750 plus tax… And the list goes on and on…

Okay. Deep Breath. Now, the good thing is you have  almost 2 years before your wedding, right?  As I see it, if you absolutely positively totally completely must have this site, and hey, I understand that, here are your options: — Go against your fundamental beliefs and sell your soul to a credit company. — Adjust your food expectations and any other bills for the wedding so that while you know you’re paying $3750 for the room and the gazebo, you have flexibility almost everywhere else.  Go with an afternoon tea style luncheon, with passed hors d’oerves, and then consider doing a slightly different dinner or series of evening events in different sites (possibly going with a family style dinner place, a fun desert place and then a live music place, depending on how the families tend to mix and match and what schedules they’d want to follow) — Since you’ve got almost 2 years, consider getting a second job.  And the fiance. I would usually get a good $3-5,000 per year at my second jobs, and that was usually in addition to working full time plus going to college. — Also, reevaluate your expenses and your priorities for life before the wedding.  I don’t remember how your arrangements are now, but consider the following:  Taking out cable until the wedding can net you about a thousand dollars in savings.  Refinancing credit card debt can save gobs of cash from paying interest fees on regular credit cards (then CUT UP THE PLASTIC.)  Taking in a roommate or moving home can save gobs of cash.  If you’re in an urban area and it’s a possibility, mass transit is a great option and you can both sell your car — making some cash — and not have to pay for its upkeep and repairs, also saving cash.  Decide now that you’ll set a $20 gift limit for all holidays, and put the rest of the money in savings for the wedding. Now, the other option that you might want to consider is – take a deep breath — finding a different site.  I have no idea what Mackinac Island is like, but I do know that the few photos I’ve seen are very scenic and pretty, and I also think that there are many nearby touristy and pretty areas that can be good options.  To be honest, if you find a site you like near one of the bays, I’m under the impression you could probably BUY  flipping temporary gazebo, and then you’d take it apart and eventually put it in your future back yard.  It’ll take some time, and it may require thinking outside the box, but it’s an option. And the third option might be putting off the wedding until 2003 for extra saving time.  Which I personally am not crazy about, but hey, it doesn’t hurt to consider all variables.

Response:

I must say today has been a very disappointing day for me… I’ve been thinking about my wedding plans for the past year (since we got engaged) and I just knew where I wanted my wedding and reception. We even visited the site and talked to a wedding coordinator. Of course, in my head, everything was perfect: a mid-afternoon wedding at the lakefront gazebo, a brief carriage ride, and a luncheon reception immediately following in the resort’s dining room. (We picked lunch because we cannot afford dinner prices by any means.) In the chat we had with the coordinator, she made everything sound very easy and affordable. So, for the past seven months I’ve been picturing everything and looking forward to making real plans (I wasn’t ready for in-depth planning because the wedding isn’t until 2002 and I couldn’t make reservations until one year prior). However, I finally decided to contact the resort and now just to be ahead of the game and….drum roll…. now all my plans are pretty much down the toilet!! Simply, each banquet room has a cost threshold that is WAY above what we can afford with the number of guests we have. (Their rooms are either for 250 or 100–nothing in between–so we need the biggest room.) With the lunch that we were planning on having for about 200 people ($3,000), it would still cost us an additional $3,000 to rent the room! (You MUST meet the minimum room cost. If our food happened to go over the $6,000, the room would be free.) And all events on the property must be catered by the resort. And the gazebo rental is another $750 plus tax… And the list goes on and on… Why not just change the plans and get married/have the reception somewhere else? Well, I want to be married in the gazebo if nothing else. I just love it there. (On Mackinac Island, MI, if you’re wondering.) I’m looking at other places to have the reception on the island, but then that would necessitate trying to move 200 people to an off-site location (more money). And not many places have room for 200 people (there are a lot of B&Bs). And it’s nearly impossible to cut the guest list down as I have remarried parents (i.e., four families–just on my side). So I’m at a total loss because I REFUSE to go into debt for a wedding. I might borrow $1,000, but I’m not doing the $10,000+ thing. I have $4,000 from my parents to work with plus whatever my fiance and I can contribute…and that’s that. Thanks for listening.

Response:

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