Wedding Rings

Formal wear for the Groom!

Question:

Meg, I don’t understand why he thinks he’ll be uncomfortable in a morning coat.  The fit is basically the same as tails, and if he’s using a decent tuxedo shop, they should be able to measure him correctly and find him something that fits right.  Or is he uncomfortable with the look of the morning coat?  If that’s the case, go with whatever feels best.   Etiquette says that morning suits are appropriate for daytime weddings, rather than tuxedos, but if he feels really strongly about it, you should do what he is most comfortable with — it’s your wedding, after all, and he should be comfortable.  And I think Ericka’s suggestion of black suits in lieu of morning coats is a good one as well. Andrea (& Nathan — 13 September 1997)

: writes:

: >Our wedding is at 11:30am, and is going to be fairly formal.  The : >ladies are wearing hunter green tea-length straight gowns with matching : >bolero jackets.  My gown is long and has a chapel-length train.  Should : >the groom and groomsmen wear tails or regular tuxedo coats?  Bob doesn’t : >want to wear the morning coat — he feels that he will be too : >uncomfortable in it.  Plus, they don’t make them in black, which I think : >will go better next to the deep hunter green dresses.  And if they all : >wear tails, what should the fathers wear?  Tails too, or regular tuxedo : >jackets?  HELP! :      You can get morning suits in black and in very dark greys, and there : are many different cuts available in the jackets, *and* you can properly : wear any kind of tie with them (not just the ascot as some people assume). : I think if your fiance looks around some, he’d be able to find something : both appropriate, black (or dark grey, which I think might be lovely with : the hunter green for daytime!), and comfortable. :      If there’s no way he’ll agree to morning suits, I’d drop back to : black : suits.  You’d still have the black, and even though your wedding is : formal, : the bridesmaids gowns don’t sound like they would be out of place next : to a nice black suit, especially a double breasted one.  It might even be : a nice opportunity for the groom and his attendants to invest in a really : nice black double breasted suit, which is a great piece to own! :      If nothing will do but a tuxedo, I’d definitely stay away from tails. : White tie is the height of men’s formal evening wear.  Wearing white : tie to a daytime wedding would be like having your bridesmaids wear : extravagant ball gowns for a daytime wedding. :      The general rule is that *all* men at a wedding should be wearing : the same level of formality.  If it’s an evening formal wedding, groom, : attendants, relatives, and guests are all properly attired in black or : white tie (though obviously not all guests elect to wear tuxedos).  If : it’s a daytime formal wedding, everyone is properly attired in morning : suits.   : Hope this helps some, : Ericka — — Andrea L. Gadberry                        Aspiring Librarian

Response:

- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > writes: >will go better next to the deep hunter green dresses.  And if they >all wear tails, what should the fathers wear?  Tails too, or regular >tuxedo jackets?  HELP! >      If there’s no way he’ll agree to morning suits, I’d drop back to > black > suits.  You’d still have the black, and even though your wedding is > formal, > the bridesmaids gowns don’t sound like they would be out of place next > to a nice black suit, especially a double breasted one.  It might even > Hope this helps some, > Ericka

I think what’s most important is what your groom and you are most comfortable with.  If it’s a tuxedo, go with a tuxedo.  If it’s tails, go with tails.  I know that etiquette dictates X for a formal morning, Y for a formal evening, etc.  However, are any of your guests going to notice that you are wearing Y to a morning wedding?  I’ve been to 4 morning weddings and at 3 of them everyone in the groom’s party (including fathers) were wearing tuxedos and at one of them the groom was wearing tails (can’t remember what the other men were wearing).  Our wedding is going to be in the morning and Brian is planning on wearing black tuxedo (with a white bowtie).  So, I’d say go with what you like best.  It sounds like your bridesmaids’ dresses are the type that will go with whatever level of formality the groomsmen are wearing. Carole (& Brian) 6-14-97

Response:

writes: >Our wedding is at 11:30am, and is going to be fairly formal.  The >ladies are wearing hunter green tea-length straight gowns with matching >bolero jackets.  My gown is long and has a chapel-length train.  Should >the groom and groomsmen wear tails or regular tuxedo coats?  Bob doesn’t >want to wear the morning coat — he feels that he will be too >uncomfortable in it.  Plus, they don’t make them in black, which I think >will go better next to the deep hunter green dresses.  And if they all >wear tails, what should the fathers wear?  Tails too, or regular tuxedo >jackets?  HELP!

     You can get morning suits in black and in very dark greys, and there are many different cuts available in the jackets, *and* you can properly wear any kind of tie with them (not just the ascot as some people assume). I think if your fiance looks around some, he’d be able to find something both appropriate, black (or dark grey, which I think might be lovely with the hunter green for daytime!), and comfortable.      If there’s no way he’ll agree to morning suits, I’d drop back to black suits.  You’d still have the black, and even though your wedding is formal, the bridesmaids gowns don’t sound like they would be out of place next to a nice black suit, especially a double breasted one.  It might even be a nice opportunity for the groom and his attendants to invest in a really nice black double breasted suit, which is a great piece to own!      If nothing will do but a tuxedo, I’d definitely stay away from tails. White tie is the height of men’s formal evening wear.  Wearing white tie to a daytime wedding would be like having your bridesmaids wear extravagant ball gowns for a daytime wedding.      The general rule is that *all* men at a wedding should be wearing the same level of formality.  If it’s an evening formal wedding, groom, attendants, relatives, and guests are all properly attired in black or white tie (though obviously not all guests elect to wear tuxedos).  If it’s a daytime formal wedding, everyone is properly attired in morning suits.   Hope this helps some, Ericka

Response:

- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Okay, here’s another question for all of you…  Let me preceed my > question by stating that I do know that the etiquette books and gurus > state that for a formal daytime wedding, the men in the wedding party > should wear morning coats.  Now, here’s the question: > Our wedding is at 11:30am, and is going to be fairly formal.  The > ladies are wearing hunter green tea-length straight gowns with matching > bolero jackets.  My gown is long and has a chapel-length train.  Should > the groom and groomsmen wear tails or regular tuxedo coats?  Bob doesn’t > want to wear the morning coat — he feels that he will be too > uncomfortable in it.  Plus, they don’t make them in black, which I think > will go better next to the deep hunter green dresses.  And if they all > wear tails, what should the fathers wear?  Tails too, or regular tuxedo > jackets?  HELP! > Thanks! > Meg and Bob

RE: Formal wear for the groom… IMHO, tails are not for morning weddings. They are the height of formality and should be reserved for evening. If your fiance doesn’t want to wear a stroller, how about a cutaway? It comes in black, is very formal and can be worn with ascot or tie, vest, and/or winged-tipped or turned down shirt in white or ivory. The fathers of the bride and groom are considered to be members of the bridal party and should dress as members of the bridal party–whatever they decide to wear. All the best, Deb McCoy, Author, "For the Bride" For more info, free book offer, Bride’s Directory, Gold Index, Diamond Exchange, and more… http://www.gate.net/~bridea2z/wedding.htm

Response:

Okay, here’s another question for all of you…  Let me preceed my question by stating that I do know that the etiquette books and gurus state that for a formal daytime wedding, the men in the wedding party should wear morning coats.  Now, here’s the question: Our wedding is at 11:30am, and is going to be fairly formal.  The ladies are wearing hunter green tea-length straight gowns with matching bolero jackets.  My gown is long and has a chapel-length train.  Should the groom and groomsmen wear tails or regular tuxedo coats?  Bob doesn’t want to wear the morning coat — he feels that he will be too uncomfortable in it.  Plus, they don’t make them in black, which I think will go better next to the deep hunter green dresses.  And if they all wear tails, what should the fathers wear?  Tails too, or regular tuxedo jackets?  HELP! Thanks! Meg and Bob (11-9-96  39 days and counting ) — Meg Dearborn Sr. Applications Engineer Cadence Design Systems 6760 Alexander Bell Drive, Suite 140 Columbia, MD  21046 (410) 290-1999

Response:

- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – >Okay, here’s another question for all of you…  Let me preceed my >question by stating that I do know that the etiquette books and gurus >state that for a formal daytime wedding, the men in the wedding party >should wear morning coats.  Now, here’s the question: >Our wedding is at 11:30am, and is going to be fairly formal.  The >ladies are wearing hunter green tea-length straight gowns with matching >bolero jackets.  My gown is long and has a chapel-length train.  Should >the groom and groomsmen wear tails or regular tuxedo coats?  Bob doesn’t >want to wear the morning coat — he feels that he will be too   >uncomfortable in it.  Plus, they don’t make them in black, which I think >will go better next to the deep hunter green dresses.  And if they all   >wear tails, what should the fathers wear?  Tails too, or regular tuxedo   >jackets?  HELP! >Thanks! >Meg and Bob >(11-9-96  39 days and counting ) >–   >Meg Dearborn >Sr. Applications Engineer >Cadence Design Systems >6760 Alexander Bell Drive, Suite 140 >Columbia, MD  21046 >(410) 290-1999

Meg: Just a note:  They do make both cutaways and sack coats (for slightly less formal daytime formal wear) in both black and dark gray.     That said, strictly speaking, all the members of the wedding party, including the fathers of the bride and groom, traditionally wear clothes in the same degree of formality.   Therefore, if the groom and groomsmen are wearing dinner jackets, the fathers would too.  Same thing goes with tails.  If you do want them to wear traditional evening clothes, I would recommend that they wear tuxedos, not tails.  I’ve seen many more tuxedos worn in daytime weddings than tails, which I think are still very firmly associated with evening functions.   And when white tie is worn by men, traditionally full length gowns are worn by the women, and your bridesmaids’ dresses don’t sound that formal. A question:  is the groom’s feeling that they would be uncomfortable in morning clothes based on the cut of the clothes, or the way they look? Just curious–there isn’t really any difference between the cut of a sack coat/stroller and a tux jacket, and my guess is that cutaways are actually easier to wear than tails, so I was just wondering. Catherine

Response:

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