Wedding Rings

Asking for insite as well

Question:

Ron NG does not seem to know jack. Tacky is paying $50 a plate for steak that is cooked to the point of dry. If the wedding is small, and the budget is tight, then having a family provide food may be an excellent suggestion. I would NOT suggest requesting this in an invitation however. We did exactly that at our wedding. What did we end up with? Salmon, Crab, Shrimp platters, home made pasta, fondue, fresh fruit, and plenty more. As someone who has sampled the fare at a few hunderd weddings, I can only say that it’s the poorest meal for the dollar one can get. This is not the fault of a cater. It’s very difficult preparing steak for 200, all ready at the same time, and cooked to individual taste.n Since that is mostly impossible, the steak is generally medium well, but often well.  Another option is chicken. Chicken! for $50 a plate!  Buffet is likely the best way to go. Still not anything near what my family cooked up for our Celibration. Ron

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->Actually, I don’t think pot-luck has to be "tacky" if you’re having a VERY >informal and casual wedding. > It’s is VULGAR. > Ron Ng Knows!

Response:

A friend of mine made a very good point….. "tacky" is a gay man’s word *snickers* so is Vulgar – hmm….. so I suppose Mr. No Good (NG) could be looking for a same sex wedding? Nah, nevermind LOL

Response:

> A friend of mine made a very good point….. "tacky" is a gay man’s word > *snickers* so is Vulgar – hmm….. so I suppose Mr. No Good (NG) could be > looking for a same sex wedding? > Nah, nevermind LOL

"Tacky" seems to be required for talk about wedding stuff you don’t like.  I don’t hear much called "tacky" outside the wedding planning newsgroups, even among the gay men I know. — aMAZon zeszutko at nycap.rr.com "It’s never too late to have a happy childhood."

Response:

> I think it is fine to do exactly what you are doing!  Weddings can be so > commercialized and out of hand. > Those who cant afford $2,000 dresses, limos,and $80 per plate catering are > made to feel like their wedding will somehow be less of a wedding that those > of folks with tons of money.

        Ummm…but so far, I think every post in this thread that has suggested not doing the potluck has *NOT* in *ANY* way suggested that you must feed the hordes lobster and caviar.  I also don’t recall anyone suggesting that it’s inappropriate to get married without spending a fortune.  That’s a red herring.  People have suggested that one provide what one can afford and DO WITHOUT the rest, along with refusing to charge one’s guests admission (i.e., food) in order to attend one’s wedding.  That is not suggesting that someone is having less of a wedding.  It is the person who is resorting to dunning guests in order to put on a wedding beyond his or her means who apparently feel that a more modest wedding is unacceptable. > I, quite frankly, plan to spend my money in a > more logical way rather than blow it all on 4 hours of commericalism.  I > admire those who work within their means, like yourselves, to make an > enjoyable day that dosnt leave you in debt.  After all, you are displaying > matters?

        It matters–but so does treating one’s guests like *guests*, and not like deep pockets.  It’s a fine and lovely idea to decide to opt out of the commercial wedding rat race.  It’s just not fine to do that by shifting the costs to one’s guests. Best wishes, Ericka

Response:

> I think it is fine to do exactly what you are doing!  Weddings can be so > commercialized and out of hand. > Those who cant afford $2,000 dresses, limos,and $80 per plate catering are > made to feel like their wedding will somehow be less of a wedding that those > of folks with tons of money.  I, quite frankly, plan to spend my money in a > more logical way rather than blow it all on 4 hours of commericalism.  I > admire those who work within their means, like yourselves, to make an > enjoyable day that dosnt leave you in debt.  After all, you are displaying > matters?

The problem is people who do not care to "blow" thier money on 4 hours of "commercialism" but are quite happy to require their guests do it for them by means of catering the reception. Most people can afford a cake, punch, mints and nuts reception costing a few hundred dollars at most.  Unfortunately, many people view that as beneath them and are willing to soak the guests to get a reception more in keeping with what they believe they are owed.

Response:

I think it is fine to do exactly what you are doing!  Weddings can be so commercialized and out of hand. Those who cant afford $2,000 dresses, limos,and $80 per plate catering are made to feel like their wedding will somehow be less of a wedding that those of folks with tons of money.  I, quite frankly, plan to spend my money in a more logical way rather than blow it all on 4 hours of commericalism.  I admire those who work within their means, like yourselves, to make an enjoyable day that dosnt leave you in debt.  After all, you are displaying matters? I wish you luck…. -Kelly

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> *yawn* > > Food (pot luck, guests bring dishes) > How VULGAR! > >Favors (hard time deciding considering we are low income) > How VULGAR! > Ron Ng Knows!

Response:

> hi there

first i want to say congratulations on your engagement.  As far as being financially restricted i completely understand where you are coming from.  i am a single mom who works and attends school full-time, so i know it feels to never have enough for exactly what you want.  as far as invitations, i am a graphic arts major and am currently looking for freelance work.  i would be very interested in helping you out.  send me an email if you are interested, and we can discuss things further.  Also, as far as the favors are concerned I just did favors for my mom’s wedding and am doing the favor’s for my sister’s in the beginning of august.  My mother was married in Cape Cod and honeymooned in Nantucket.  She went to the Christmas tree shop and bought 1.99 nantucket baskets, which I decorated with a simple ribbon, silk rose, and a label I designed.  For my sister’s wedding, I am using my pc to burn her and fer fiance’s favorite love songs on cd’s.  She bought cases for the cd’s (50 for $10) and I am creating cover’s for the cd’s including their engagement photo.  If I can possibly help you with anything let me know -deb

Response:

- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – >  > If money is that tight, skip the favors completely. >  > Personally, I’d do cake and punch before I’d ask guests to bring food >  (your >  > pot-luck plan). I’d also scale back the number of guests before I’d >  do pot >  > luck. >  > Invitations can be handwritten if printing costs are beyond your budget. >  > It’s the way things were done years ago if they weren’t engraved (and >  only >  > the very wealthy sprung for engraving). >    I’d agree with all that.  Pot-lucks are okay if your *guests* > organize that for you, but you can’t politely send an invitation > asking people to bring food to your wedding.  I think most people > would be astonished to receive a favor when they weren’t provided > with any refreshments–looks like odd priorities on the part of > the hosts.  I’d absolutely skip favors (most of them aren’t worth > the trouble anyway) and scale back to cake and punch (and consider > accepting graciously if others *offer* to bring something). >    Handwriting the invitations is prefectly charming and > proper and could save a pretty penny, which you could put towards > refreshments. > Best wishes, > Ericka

Seconded here, on all counts. I also read the previous post in which "Mercedes insists on" favors. Honestly, it seems the priorities are skewed here if money is at such an issue that you need to ask guests to provide the food for the supper but are planning to have favors to hand out. Here’s the thing:  the reception is the first party you are *hosting* as a couple (emphasis deliberate).  Do you invite people to dine in your home and ask them to bring a main dish is their last name begins with A-D?  Now, certainly if someone brings a bottle of wine to share with those at the table, that’s a different matter … but you didn’t ask them to bring it.  You should view your reception in exactly the same way.  If you tell people you are serving cake and punch, they can plan accordingly (i.e., eat before they get there or after they leave).  There is no reason to go into debt over your wedding … you have what you can afford and no more.  If that means cake and punch, and no favors, so be it. Sharon in San Jose Happily married to Jeff since 9/28/02

Response:

>Actually, I don’t think pot-luck has to be "tacky" if you’re having a VERY >informal and casual wedding.

It’s is VULGAR. Ron Ng Knows!

Response:

> First off, when an invitation comes with my name and address as the return > address, I hardly think they will toss it thinking some organization is > asking for money – second, about the pot-luck thing – what would you suggest > a person on welfare do for catering? Certainly not McDonalds.

        You are under utterly no obligation to provide an elaborate meal for your guests!  If you schedule your wedding at the appropriate time of day, it is perfectly proper and charming to serve cake and punch or tea and cookies or whatever suits.  It is your guests who would be terribly rude to criticize such a decision, not you. Best wishes, Ericka

Response:

 The Wedding" is the part where you stand up in front of some official and he/she asks. Do you?  And you say "yes" and he/she asks do you? And she says, "yes" and then he / she says, "By the power vested in me, I pronounce you Husband and wife". That’s the wedding part. For my husband and I, and we were married this past Nov. 1st that part cost $35 for the license and another $15 for the cost of the Judge. The other thing is the party you are throwing for the two of you and everybody else, after the wedding.  We did our entire wedding on a Friday morning, with just the two of us there, well three if you count the Judge. My Husband bought me flowers since I wanted to carry them ($58) and we wore clothes we already had or could wear again. (No wedding gown, no tux) we got our wedding photo taken by a female guard at the front door of the courthouse. No cameras were allowed in the courtroom. So we asked her to do it. BTW that photo turned out pretty well. We went to a photo place and enlarged it and cropped out the extra stuff around us. So we have it in a nice frame in our living room.  You DO NOT need to have the big party after you get married. It’s not required. You want to be married? Fine go and do it. If you have no money and trust me we had very little money when we got married, you can do it. You want the big party, fine either wait or invite less people. I would do both.  I wanted to be married. I loved this man and we wanted to live together as Husband and wife, do I regret not having a big party after my wedding? No. I am still married I have a license, a wedding ring and a picture to prove it. And a husband. You won’t get wedding gifts if you do what we did, you will get cards in the mail. We got a few and one from work that everyone signed.    Sometimes I think people assume that getting married means getting lots of "stuff" I think that cheapens the wedding somehow. I actually overheard one Bride saying ‘ well, we need to invite ’so and so’ they are pretty rich and they will bring us a nice present’. We actually managed to get married for less then $400 dollars, that included the honeymoon. We drove to Chicago spent the night and drove home.  The flowers and the dinner at the hotel up there.    You want to get married. Go and do it. Get a ring and a license and go get married, you want a big party for your friends and family, do that in a year or so. It’s called the anniversary. You give a party everyone comes and you celebrate. The wedding is the official part the reception is the party after that. You can get married without the party, without invitations, favors and 300 engraved matchbooks that match the bridesmaid’s shoes.   Amber

Response:

 > If money is that tight, skip the favors completely.  >  > Personally, I’d do cake and punch before I’d ask guests to bring food (your  > pot-luck plan). I’d also scale back the number of guests before I’d do pot  > luck.  >  > Invitations can be handwritten if printing costs are beyond your budget.  > It’s the way things were done years ago if they weren’t engraved (and only  > the very wealthy sprung for engraving).         I’d agree with all that.  Pot-lucks are okay if your *guests* organize that for you, but you can’t politely send an invitation asking people to bring food to your wedding.  I think most people would be astonished to receive a favor when they weren’t provided with any refreshments–looks like odd priorities on the part of the hosts.  I’d absolutely skip favors (most of them aren’t worth the trouble anyway) and scale back to cake and punch (and consider accepting graciously if others *offer* to bring something).         Handwriting the invitations is prefectly charming and proper and could save a pretty penny, which you could put towards refreshments. Best wishes, Ericka

Response:

>     Food (pot luck, guests bring dishes) >     Cake (possibility of a multi-tiered (shelves) of cupcakes)

I agree with the comments so far, if you can’t afford to feed everyone don’t.  Cake and punch is fine.  A simple round cake that is decorated, and sheet cakes are fine.  I had never thought of the cupcake idea – but that could be fun too. >     Favors (hard time deciding considering we are low income)

Unless you have money to toss around, skip the favors.   Favors typically end up in the trash within a week anyway.  My wife and I still hear from a few people who have our favor – but if you take parents and grandparents out of the equation, I doubt that even a half dozen copies survived to our first anniverssary. >     Music (unless a DJ donates time we have a stereo with the capability of > making CD’s of love songs and dance steps)

My advice is to not try to make a "dancable" collection of music ahead of time.  It is almost impossible to pre-program a dance party. Instead, I would suggest that you go to your local "warehouse club" (ie. Sams, Costco), and look at their boxed set collections.  Decide on the mood that you want to set with the background music.  For instance, you can get 10 CD’s of classical music for $15.  You can get 3 or 4 hours of music for under $20.  They also have collections of jazz, R&B, Oldies (Big Band), and more.  This is a great place to get collections of backgound music. –Stan Graves http://www.SoundInMotionDJ.com A Mobile DJ, serving the DFW, Texas area.

Response:

LOL!!! Thanks Jeff

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > <snip> > It’s is VULGAR. > Abusing the English language like that (in such a short sentence, mind you) > is also VULGAR.

Response:

My fianc

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