Question:
We went this morning to try on wedding rings, since we’d already picked a style (unetched bands with ridging around both sides) – we needed to be sized, etc. The jewlers mentioned something called a "comfort fit" – what is this, and how does it differ from a regular fit? Also, which looks better, hand- or machine-engraving? One y’all help us out here…we MAY be ready to buy! Yay, and Whew. Heidi & Aaron October 19, 1996 http://www.cris.com/~heidi8/wedding
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> The jewlers mentioned something called a "comfort fit" – what is this, and > how does it differ from a regular fit?
A comfort fit band is one which is convex-beveled on the inside, as opposed to being flat. To illustrate, a cutaway side-view of most rings would be: inside edge -> || <- outside edge A comfort fit ring would look like this: inside edge -> (| <- outside edge > Also, which looks better, hand- or machine-engraving?
I’d say hand engraving, but that depends on the skill of the engraver. Best wishes! -Jay ( ( .–="There’s always time for a good cup of coffee."=–. _______ )) )) | Jay D. Dyson – Administrator, Alt.Wedding Home Page | >====<–. C|~~|C|~~| |—–= http://www.point-2-point.com/altwedding =—–| | = |-’
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Question:
I just got back from visiting several jewelry stores in my search for a platinum (or silver) wedding band for my fiance. I didn’t find any silver (is silver a bad idea?) and the only platinum rings I found had yellow gold in them. He wants a pure silver or pure platinum ring, no gold, not even white gold. Has anyone found these? Also, any jewelry store suggestions? (I’m in San Diego till the weekend but I live in the SF bay area.) Thanks, Deborah
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STERLING [99.999%] Silver Wedding Rings are available at Wal-mart. Wide range of quality and price. For a Platinuim ring try a Premuim jewler in your area, not a chain, or his wholesale source. Stafford’s U.S. Diamond and Gold sells them too, not my company, 937-436-2852. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> I just got back from visiting several jewelry stores in my search > for a platinum (or silver) wedding band for my fiance. I didn’t > find any silver (is silver a bad idea?) and the only platinum rings > I found had yellow gold in them. He wants a pure silver or pure > platinum ring, no gold, not even white gold. Has anyone found > these? Also, any jewelry store suggestions? (I’m in San Diego > till the weekend but I live in the SF bay area.) > Thanks, > Deborah
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Hey Deborah, I’m a big fan of platinum and my soon-to-be-fiancee and I have gone shopping in a couple of places (unfortunately on the opposite coast). One manufacturer I’d recommend is Cristian Bauer, some german guy based in Germany that turns out some really elegant, plain platinum rings. You could go to the public library and find the JKC (Jeweller’s Keystone Circular) yearly reference guide to find jeweler’s phone numbers… expect to pay a premium for good 950 platinum (95% plat, usually with other noble medals from the same group such as paladium, iridium, etc) as it’s slightly more expensive than gold and much harder to work with since it melts ~500 degrees hotter than gold (I’m guessing at this number). The bonus is it reacts even less than gold, is harder, and IMHO is extremely beautiful. I would recommend against silver as it’s soft, will tarnish, and just doesn’t have the solid, warm feel of the heavier noble metals. Also, I’m not sure you’ll find a jeweller who will spend as much time and care creating and polishing a silver ring that he’ll only make $50 on… I only recommend C. Bauer because I remember the name and I really liked his stuff, not because I’m on the staff or anything goofy like that. Check the JCK for other people who work with platinum rings, especially in your area. I’d recommend hitting Chinatown SF for some jewellers or someplace else that might cater to Japanese nationals as platinum has become extremely popular in Asia, especially Japan for wedding rings. Good luck, Stefan Lucas I just got back from visiting several jewelry stores in my search for a platinum (or silver) wedding band for my fiance. I didn’t find any silver (is silver a bad idea?) and the only platinum rings I found had yellow gold in them. He wants a pure silver or pure platinum ring, no gold, not even white gold. Has anyone found these? Also, any jewelry store suggestions? (I’m in San Diego till the weekend but I live in the SF bay area.) Thanks, Deborah
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manufacturer I’d recommend is Cristian Bauer, some german guy based in Germany that turns out some really elegant, plain platinum rings. You ^^^^^^^ oops – my stupid redundancy I meant a german guy based in Florida… Stefan
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> I just got back from visiting several jewelry stores in my search > for a platinum (or silver) wedding band for my fiance. I didn’t > find any silver (is silver a bad idea?) and the only platinum rings > I found had yellow gold in them. He wants a pure silver or pure > platinum ring, no gold, not even white gold. Has anyone found > these? Also, any jewelry store suggestions? (I’m in San Diego > till the weekend but I live in the SF bay area.) > Thanks, > Deborah
Deb, We had problems finding his platinum band as well. It seems that there are many goldsmiths, but so few jewelers are actually qualified to work with platinum as its metalurgical behavior is different from gold. I have three suggestions for you: 1) in the back of most bridal magazines there are these little booklets that are put out by the Platinum society or association, call and see if they can give you a recommendation for your area; 2) look for an antique jeweler, most of the rings around the 1920’s and 30’s were made in platinum and they are tremendously less expensive than purchasing a new one (That’s how he purchased my engagement ring); 3) Go to Neiman Marcus and ask about a designer JFA (Jean-Francois Albert), he is very chic (read: really overpriced) but the ideas you get from his bands which are mainly platinum or 18K white gold can be translated into a design by a platinum specialist. Good luck Sarah & (Kevin) 2/21/98
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>I just got back from visiting several jewelry stores in my search >for a platinum (or silver) wedding band for my fiance. I didn’t >find any silver (is silver a bad idea?) and the only platinum rings >I found had yellow gold in them. He wants a pure silver or pure >platinum ring, no gold, not even white gold. Has anyone found >these? Also, any jewelry store suggestions? (I’m in San Diego >till the weekend but I live in the SF bay area.) >Thanks, >Deborah
Well, my husband and I decided against silver, but if you want GREAT quality silver or gold wedding bands, call James Avery Jewelry for their catalog. We got our gold bands from them and they are absolutely beautiful. All of their bands come in either gold or silver and the prices aren’t bad either. Ask for their "Christian" catalog. The regular catalog has some but not all of them. The 800 number is: 1-800-283-1770. Good luck! Christi Brogan "Conjugal Creations" Wedding Designer San Antonio, Texas Ask me about NACEC!
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Silver is much nicer in colour (imho) than white gold, which has a gunmetal cast to it. Silver is much warmer in colour. I didn’t used to like gold, but I have grown fond of it now that my silver collection is so extensive. <g> I suggest that you LOOK at platinum and compare the colour to white gold and silver to see if that’s what you want. Silver, being the softest of the three (silver is harder than gold in pure form, but not harder than 14k alloy), will wear more quickly and you may have to replace your rings in 5-10 years. Gold will last a good 20 years for 14k (perhaps less for 18k) and platinum will last a lifetime. All depends on how hard you are on your rings and how thick they are. I will say, however, that I have some frequently-worn silver rings that are no longer round but have knocked out of shape. There is no such thing as pure anything. Silver is 92.5% pure and platinum either 75% or 95% (I don’t think there are other hallmark standards for platinum but I could be wrong on this point). 14k gold is 58.5%, 18k 75% gold. I have been corresponding with a jeweller I found on the web who works in platinum about my own projects, his email addr is: "Gene Davies" excellent. > I just got back from visiting several jewelry stores in my search > for a platinum (or silver) wedding band for my fiance. I didn’t > find any silver (is silver a bad idea?) and the only platinum rings > I found had yellow gold in them. He wants a pure silver or pure > platinum ring, no gold, not even white gold. Has anyone found > these? Also, any jewelry store suggestions? (I’m in San Diego > till the weekend but I live in the SF bay area.) > Thanks, > Deborah
– http://www.sover.net/~deirdre
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I’m getting Morgan a plain platinum band. We’ve seen them in several stores, both here in Seattle and in northern California. You need to go to a good jeweler, not your run-of-the-mill mall jeweler. Some stores may have regular suppliers of platinum bands but don’t always have them in stock because they’re not particularly popular. They would be able to order a ring for you. Nikki (and Morgan) 6-21-97 – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> I just got back from visiting several jewelry stores in my search > for a platinum (or silver) wedding band for my fiance. I didn’t > find any silver (is silver a bad idea?) and the only platinum rings > I found had yellow gold in them. He wants a pure silver or pure > platinum ring, no gold, not even white gold. Has anyone found > these? Also, any jewelry store suggestions? (I’m in San Diego > till the weekend but I live in the SF bay area.) > Thanks, > Deborah
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I bought a platinum/diamond/sapphire engagement ring for my fiancee and we both absolutely love it (made by Associate Jewelers in Oregon, http://www.tradeshop.com ). Platinum is classy, beautiful, relatively unusual, and more durable and stronger than gold or silver. It’s an excellent choice for wedding jewelry, although it is a bit more expensive. Any reputable jewelry store should be able to supply you with platinum rings. One point to mention is that when resizing platinum rings, be CERTAIN the jeweler is using platinum solder. I’m having my wedding band made from platinum. It’s just cool. 
-Brian (and Shelly) March 97
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Deborah writes |I just got back from visiting several jewelry stores in my search |for a platinum (or silver) wedding band for my fiance. I didn’t |find any silver (is silver a bad idea?) and the only platinum rings |I found had yellow gold in them. He wants a pure silver or pure |platinum ring, no gold, not even white gold. Has anyone found |these? As others have pointed out, platinum was very popular during the earlier parts of this century, so estate jewelry stores might be your best bet. Here in Seattle we have Turgeon Raines; I don’t know if they have stores elsewhere. You might even try local pawn shops — but be warned, they can be *very* depressing. I went to a pawn shop in Tahoe and, although they had good prices on everything and some really nice rings, it made me sad to see that so many symbols of undying affection had ended up in such a place, sold cheaply because the sentiment had gone out of them. It might not be such a wonderful place to be when you’re trying to plan your own marriage. I’m not an expert in metals, but most of the older silver jewelry pieces I have (a crucifix from my paternal grandmother; a watch from my maternal great-grandmother) do show scratches and must be cleaned often to be kept free of tarnish. However, the price of silver reflects this and silver bands are a fraction of the cost of platinum. One groom on this group posted a pitch for the Associate Jewelers Incorporated’s Tradeshop a while back: http://www.tradeshop.com/master/platinum.html They do custom jewelry work and will create exactly what you want from your sketch or photograph, competitively priced. The samples they have on their page are really exquisite, and they have some sound buying advice whether you decide to go with them or not. –KR
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The original poster, Deborah, was located in the San Francisco Bay Area. I replied to her originally with a suggestion about a local wholesale jewelry mart, but forgot about a SUPER estate jeweler here in SF. They’re called Old & New Estates, and they’re on Union St. — 2181. Phone is (415) 346-7525. They had seval platinum sets when I was there in August, and some gorgeous platinum/diamond and platinum/diamond/ sapphire engagement rings. Somewhat pricy, but everything is GIA certified and appraised, very professional. Very nice people, too! Hope this helps, Sandi
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> They’re called Old & New Estates, and they’re on Union St. — 2181. > Phone is (415) 346-7525. They had seval platinum sets when I was > there in August, and some gorgeous platinum/diamond and platinum/diamond/ > sapphire engagement rings. Somewhat pricy, but everything is GIA > certified and appraised, very professional. > Very nice people, too! Hope this helps,
There are two more GREAT estate jewelers in SF that I’d recommend. Lang’s is on Sutter St across from the Sutter/Stockton garage (where my husband bought my bee-yu-ti-ful 1930’s ruby/diamond/platinum engagement ring) and Lydia’s is on Geary (I think!) We ordered plain platinum wedding bands from Harold’s Jewelery on Main St. in Los Altos. He does mostly custom design work AND he was very fast! Good luck! Michaele
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Deb- Try Tiffanys (as in Breakfast at Tiffanys) in San Francisco. That is where I am getting my platinum wedding band in LA. My 3mm band will cost $650. Silver is a bad choice because it is too soft a metal and will not stand the test of time. Carolyn
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Deborah, I wouldn’t buy silver as a wedding band – just doesn’t seem classy enough. I just bought my own ring – didn’t buy platinum, but considered it. Be ready to spend some bucks if you want to buy platinum. From what I saw, men’s platinum rings (around 6 – 7 mm) start at about $1,000, compared to maybe $150 for something comparable in gold. My favorite platinum ring I saw was $1600, and this just had metal, no stones or anything. Dennis Evans
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My fiancee and I just purchased our platinum bands from Wedding Ring Originals in NYC. I highly recommend them. We looked for a jeweler who carried in platinum rings for about six months until we found this one. Their prices are very good and the quality is outstanding. I don’t have the number handy, but if you called information in the 212 area code they will have it. Good luck. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> I just got back from visiting several jewelry stores in my search > for a platinum (or silver) wedding band for my fiance. I didn’t > find any silver (is silver a bad idea?) and the only platinum rings > I found had yellow gold in them. He wants a pure silver or pure > platinum ring, no gold, not even white gold. Has anyone found > these? Also, any jewelry store suggestions? (I’m in San Diego > till the weekend but I live in the SF bay area.) > Thanks, > Deborah
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Hi, I just did a search and Wedding Ring Originals are on the web! Here’s the info: 691 Lexington Avenue, New York, NY 10022 800-522-1175 or in NYS: 212-751-3940 http://www.weddingrings.com Monica 3-22-97
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Hi Deborah, Since you live in the SF bay area which is where we live also, I would highly recommend the jewelry store called "Topper" for your search of a platinum ring. I recently got married (Nov 26) and we had our wedding bands from this store. Our wedding bands are made of platinum exclusively to match my engagement ring which is also made of platinum. The store is located in downtown Burlingame (which is just a bit south of San Francisco). If you call up the directory assistant for area code 415, I am sure they can help you with the store’s phone number. We are also very pleased with the work of this jewel store. Hope this helps.
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>> I wouldn’t buy silver as a wedding band – just doesn’t seem classy > enough. >"Doesn’t seem classy enough"? I wonder, does "class" always require higher cost? >Hmm, I have to say that "class" has nothing to do with how expensive one’s >rings are. Class comes from an entirely different source.
Hmm I mist the original msg. ( just stumbling in here tonight) Maybe this experience will help: I don’t like gold.(can’t help it) About a yaer and a half ago, my gorlfirned and I promised to take care of each other and her kids (of a previous marriage) to seal this, we decided to buy ‘friend’ rings. I was pretty confidend about some titanium rings (light green with some tiny golden stripe). And luckiliy she was as happy with it as I. After measuring the size the salesman asked what date the wedding was. I haven’t seen her more happy, as she didn’t notice it we’re wedding rings! Any way we decided to have no dates. Luckily, I asked her last night and she said yes. date is set ond aug. 22th ‘97 With Titanium rings !
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Alrighty then Just wanted to make a comment here, "about class/platinum costing more"… It doesn’t cost as much as you might think… For example, most catalogs run out a three hundred percent markup, so it’s really the markup which is the bulk of the price on any ring… Take the beautiful Stuller collection of platinum mountings I just installed in my web pages, we simply cut the price in half… Custom manufacturing in platinum costs more than gold by a far way, but for example I have a platinum page of custom manufacturing shown, with prices for most very elaborate manufacturing coming in mostly well under the retail costs of a plain comfort-fit band ring… Platinum is a cool metal, and when trimmed with 18Kt can be really killer modern too… Moral??? Shop around, compare prices particularly on platinum items, they are being sort of premium priced these days but really are quite cost effective if you press… Check out yer browser/search engines too for platinum, there are many good selections of both custom and standard fine commercial alternatives at often half the retail prices you’re seeing… Knowledge is power, be more powerful. Ray _|/_ "Knowledge is power, be more powerful" (o o) Associate Jewelers Incorporated * Est. 1975 * Design & Manufacturing Certified Diamonds * Union Benchworkers * Fine Custom Manufacturing http://www.tradeshop.com/ "The Fine Jewelry Web Domain/Site"
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Question:
> I’m doing some ring shopping too, and finding it to be an uncomfortable > experience. The ring we had picked out for my wedding ring…well, I’ve > decided against it, and now we’re looking again. Has anyone else had trouble > picking out the perfect wedding ring? When you saw it, did you really *know* > or did you just pick something?
I had a bit of trouble doing mainly because with my engagement ring the one in the shop was the right size for me so I was expecting to be able to try on a number of different wedding rings with my engagement ring before making a decision. However when I was trying plain bands on I couldn’t see how they sat on my finger as they barely fit on my little finger they were that small. I saw the one I have in a different shop and decided to try ot on – it was just one size too small so I could get a better idea of how it looked etc. and it was a bit unusual and I was looking for soemthing unusual so I decided that that was the ring for me. I would have liked to have seen how a plain band looked though even though I was looking for something a bit different.
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I’m doing some ring shopping too, and finding it to be an uncomfortable experience. The ring we had picked out for my wedding ring…well, I’ve decided against it, and now we’re looking again. Has anyone else had trouble picking out the perfect wedding ring? When you saw it, did you really *know* or did you just pick something? Valorie
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Search the web for diamond brokers. They post pricing on diamonds along with each stone’s color, clarity, etc. This will give you a good idea of pricing and maybe give you more confidence in dealing with the jewelers. By the way, we found our best deal through a diamond broker on the web. Also saved on sales tax. When we went into jewelry stores, we asked all the questions we could think of to learn as much as possible. I’d always keep in mind and tell the sales person that the process of actually buying an expensive piece of jewelry which I was going to wear forever was going to take time. That seemed to take a bit of the pressure off. All in all, it was fun shopping for the ring. Good luck and have fun!!! Karen > Hey all! Everyone here is such a great help for so many things, I thought > I’d throw this out and see if anyone has any suggestions. Bill and I were > kinda-sorta looking at rings this weekend. However, the salespeople were > more than a bit pushy. I’ve actually been thinking of going out looking > alone — I don’t think they’d try to sell *me* an engagement ring for > myself. Anyway, are there other sources where I can just kind of look > around and see what I like? Anyone who can provide information about > shopping for a diamond? > Any advice appreciated. > Jen
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I don’t know where you are located, but we were extrememly pleased with Americus Diamond. They obviously specialize in diamonds. They have a very wide selection to choose from, and their prices are very good. All of their diamonds are GIA (Gemological Institute of America) certified, which means the quality they say it is is genuine. I would try to find a place like this. Make sure the diamonds are certified, otherwise, you really have no idea what the real quality is. They can legally tell you it is any size or quality. You will get papers with it if it certified. The papers show the scale for color and clarity and have a diagram of your diamond showing the inclusions. It also tells the shape and proportions of the cut. You can get any diamond certified, but it is nice if it is already done for you. Find a place that will explain everything to you, and is genuinely honest. This is hard sometimes, but you just have to shop around. Don’t get discouraged. This is a very important thing to get exactly right and what you want. Don’t go to jewelers you would find in a mall. We even got our wedding bands at Americus because they were cheaper than even Service Merchandise!! Good Luck!! Kelli – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > Hey all! Everyone here is such a great help for so many things, I thought > I’d throw this out and see if anyone has any suggestions. Bill and I were > kinda-sorta looking at rings this weekend. However, the salespeople were > more than a bit pushy. I’ve actually been thinking of going out looking > alone — I don’t think they’d try to sell *me* an engagement ring for > myself. Anyway, are there other sources where I can just kind of look > around and see what I like? Anyone who can provide information about > shopping for a diamond? > Any advice appreciated. > Jen
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I don’t know where you are located, but we have been very happy with The Shane Company. I believe they have several locations around the country. The salespeople (supposedly) are not paid on commission, and are extremely helpful. They explained everything we needed to know about diamonds, and took around and hour to do so. I shopped with a friend who bought his fiance’s ring there, and was so pleased with the service, I took my sweetie there when we were ring shopping. And I love my ring! Good luck! Jennifer 5/1/99 – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – >Hey all! Everyone here is such a great help for so many things, I thought >I’d throw this out and see if anyone has any suggestions. Bill and I were >kinda-sorta looking at rings this weekend. However, the salespeople were >more than a bit pushy. I’ve actually been thinking of going out looking >alone — I don’t think they’d try to sell *me* an engagement ring for >myself. Anyway, are there other sources where I can just kind of look >around and see what I like? Anyone who can provide information about >shopping for a diamond? >Any advice appreciated. >Jen
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Hey all! Everyone here is such a great help for so many things, I thought I’d throw this out and see if anyone has any suggestions. Bill and I were kinda-sorta looking at rings this weekend. However, the salespeople were more than a bit pushy. I’ve actually been thinking of going out looking alone — I don’t think they’d try to sell *me* an engagement ring for myself. Anyway, are there other sources where I can just kind of look around and see what I like? Anyone who can provide information about shopping for a diamond? Any advice appreciated. Jen
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Question:
I have 6 bridesmaids as well, and I haven’t had any problems yet, but then again I haven’t picked out the dresses yet. The best you can really do is to go by the majority vote and make sure that you are happy as well. If one person isn’t happy, hopefully they will be understanding enough to see that this is your day. She must be a good friend, afterall, she is one of your bridesmaids. Good luck. Kimberly and David 2-14-98
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<< I was wondering to myself how people can put money in front of a friendship. I guess I could understand if the dress was $300.00 or more (I would pay that to be in a friends wedding and I have a whole house payment to myself!) but I was hurt because that was the MOST important thing to them. Why do people have to be like this..I don’t know. >> I had to turn down being in a wedding because I was going to school and paying rent was a struggle enough–I simply could not afford a $150-200 dress. I recently found out she was very disappointed (she was very gracious to me at the time). Sorry, it wasn’t anything against her, but I just could not do it. It seems that some brides, like the poster quoted above, forget that being in a wedding is a big responsibility and not necessarily just fun and frolic.
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>>Has anyone one else had a problem with complaining bridesmaids? I have six maids. One >hates the dress I have chosen and another is complaining about the cost of it because her >daughter is in the wedding as well. (The cost is $201.25 for a
handmade gown. It is a >plush red velvet on the top and italian satin on the bottom.) All the
other bridemaids have >either told me they love it or that it is my day and I should do
whatever I want. I negotiated >for weeks with the price of the gowns to get it at the best price I
could and I don’t think the >cost is unreasonable. Any suggestions?
I found out that people will find cause for complaint no matter how easy you make it for them. My seven bridesmaids were instructed to find a simple white dress of any style, with only 3 stipulations: it had to be WHITE, it can’t have any lace, pearls, or any type of beading, and it can’t be made of a shiny fabric (i.e., taffeta). You wouldn’t believe the complaints I heard! "I can’t find one without pearls!" "Are you sure we can’t have lace on it?" "Can’t we get an ivory one instead?" "There are NO white dresses to be found ANYWHERE!" After much whining and complaining, four of them decided to have their dresses made, and the rest miraculously found theirs. I whining and complaining about the dresses is a Great Bridesmaid Tradition, and it’s just part of being a bridesmaid. Best wishes, Karmela
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– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->Boy-oh-boy this sounds familiar!! I had two people crap out on me after >they decided anything over $50.00 (I guess they wanted a Kmart Blue Light >Special) for a dress was too much. I was wondering to myself how people >can put money in front of a friendship. > Ahem. Sometimes, even just $50 is a stretch for some of us. I’m not sure > I understand how not wanting to make a financial sacrifice is putting > money ahead of friendship. If my bridesmaids state that a $200 gown (such > as the one you are requiring of your bridesmaids) is too much for them, I > would find myself hardpressed to consider them as saying money came before > their friendship with me. Given that I myself have bills as well as > grad/law school to pay for (and we won’t even start to talk about buying a > house), it really wouldn’t enter my mind that they were putting a price on > my friendship. After all, they wouldn’t consider me to be putting money > ahead of friendship by having sore feelings that they wouldn’t add a $200 > dress to their wardrobe. >I guess I could understand if the >dress was $300.00 or more > Well, it’s good to know what your minimum standards are. >(I would pay that to be in a friends wedding >and I have a whole house payment to myself!) > It’s great that you have this debt yet still have money to pay to be in a > friend’s wedding. But we aren’t all as financially successful/adept as > you. It doesn’t mean we place money ahead of friendship, but just as I am > not going into debt over my wedding, I can’t ask my friends to go into > debt over it. > I find this whole idea perplexing and I guess we just come from different > backgrounds and aren’t going to see each other’s points. I’m > flabberghasted at the idea that friends who refuse to spend a lot of money > to be in a wedding are putting money ahead of friendship, but a bride who > requires friends to spend a lot of money to be in her wedding is not doing > it herself. Floored, really. > — > Ami > ***** > The bigger the Net gets, the smaller the fish it catches … > – R. E. Childs
– Ami, I agree with you. We are financially very tight and my bridesmaids are too. To me, $120 is the limit for a dress. I can’t ask any of my best friends to spend a lot of money for a dress which they might/might not wear just for me. I just can’t do that to them. So instead of getting them gifts, I got them the dresses. They all say they love the dress and love the idea. Rather than ending up with a dress and a set of earrings (gift) they might/might not like after spending $200 or more, they end up with a free dress which they can wear or not wear after the wedding and I end up with bridesmaids in my favorite dress and that are happy being in that dress. Junko
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Joyce, I know it is hard to deal with these people because they your friends and family and you don’t want to get on their bad sides. In any case I feel like $200.00 is very expensive. I would definately have to say "no" I cannot be a attendant at your wedding. Maybe if they are complaining so much you should allow them the opportunity to back out of the wedding and do something else. Sometimes it is not really the dress they are complaining about but the cost, or other things in their lives that the dress add to. Consider their funds, and the situation they are in. I am having 3 bm’s and a moh and the bm dresses are only costing them $45.00 for the labor, I purchased the fabric and the moh dress was $134.00. The shoes are running $32.00 so they are looking at a cost of about $77.00 each. The dress they can wear again and again with the right acessories it can be dressy formal, or semi-formal. I really didn’t feel right to ask someone to spend a fortune on a dress for MY wedding. Although the cost of dresses you have picked out is around the cost I have seen most BM dresses running, it is unfortunate to say the least because the bride has to go through the problem of not only asking/picking and choosing amoung her friends she also has to pick the dress and keep in mind various budgets and also her dream wedding. Whew, what a pain. Good luck!
: Has anyone one else had a problem with complaining bridesmaids? I have six maids. One : hates the dress I have chosen and another is complaining about the cost of it because her : daughter is in the wedding as well. (The cost is $201.25 for a handmade gown. It is a : plush red velvet on the top and italian satin on the bottom.) All the other bridemaids have : either told me they love it or that it is my day and I should do whatever I want. I negotiated : for weeks with the price of the gowns to get it at the best price I could and I don’t think the : cost is unreasonable. Any suggestions? : :
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writes: >>Has anyone one else had a problem with complaining bridesmaids? I have >six maids. One >>hates the dress I have chosen and another is complaining about the cost >of it because her >>daughter is in the wedding as well. (The cost is $201.25 for a >handmade gown. It is a >>plush red velvet on the top and italian satin on the bottom.) All the >other bridemaids have >>either told me they love it or that it is my day and I should do >whatever I want. I negotiated >>for weeks with the price of the gowns to get it at the best price I >could and I don’t think the >>cost is unreasonable. Any suggestions?
$200 plus IS a lot of money for a dress, especially for the woman who has to buy two of them. (When was the last time you spent over $200 for a special-occasion dress – that YOU got to choose?) However, the point is, you’re feeling put upon because you think you did a lot of work to make everyone happy, getting the best price. The mistake you’ve probably made is, you did that without consulting everyone. Yes, traditionally you get to pick the dress. And your attendants should wear it with a minimum of complaining. However, it’s a good idea to consult your attendants about the style – show pictures, ask about particular features that might be a problem (anyone hate going sleeveless? hate short/long/full/slim skirts? care about identical versus merely coordinated dresses? love purple? etc.) Before I decided what the reasonable limit on clothing costs for our wedding party was, I asked everyone what THEY thought was reasonable. I "floated" $100-150 as a reasonable estimate and got reactions. (One said, "I’d rather spend $100 on the dress and $50 on travelling up for the wedding." Another asked if that included the shoes. When I said I wasn’t going to make them wear identical shoes and she could hopefully wear her own shoes, she said, "THANK you!" And one said she’d happily spend more, or make her dress, or basically do whatever I wanted.) Anyway, since you’ve chosen what you’ve chosen and you’re not going to change it at this point (!), damage control is a good idea. The woman complaining about the cost – is this truly a burden for her, or is she just complaining for the sake of complaining? If the latter, explain that you really made an effort to get the best price and it really hurts you that she doesn’t recognize that, and could she please try not to complain so much so that you can all enjoy the wedding more? If the former, can you offer to subsidize it for her? Buy her daughter’s dress? As for the woman who simply hates the dress, well, why does she hate it? Does she just think she doesn’t look good in it? Is there anything you can do to modify or accessorize it that will make her more comfortable? If she doesn’t really want to do anything about it but just enjoys complaining, again, ask her to complain to others all she wants but not to you, because it’s hurtful and anyway you don’t agree, obviously – you think the dress is beautiful and you think she looks great in it. It’s unlikely that either BM will drop out of the wedding rather than buy and wear the dress. However, if you offer them that option, it might help them realize how seriously you are taking their complaints. It IS possible that they are simply kvetching in a recreational way and don’t mean to hurt you. An honest conversation about WHY they are complaining and WHY it bugs you so much is definitely in order. Holly (& Ken) 8/25/96
Response:
Dump her. She is obviously self-centered and not much of a friend. You don’t need the stress. It sounds like you are being more than resonable in your planning, but you are bending over backwards for someone who does not appreciate it. If you still want her involved somehow in the wedding, give her other duties, but it sounds like you would be much better off just asking her to step down. Good Luck. tara and mark 5/18/96 – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->Has anyone one else had a problem with complaining bridesmaids? I have six maids. One >hates the dress I have chosen and another is complaining about the cost of it because her >daughter is in the wedding as well. (The cost is $201.25 for a handmade gown. It is a >plush red velvet on the top and italian satin on the bottom.) All the other bridemaids have >either told me they love it or that it is my day and I should do whatever I want. I negotiated >for weeks with the price of the gowns to get it at the best price I could and I don’t think the >cost is unreasonable. Any suggestions? > I am having a similar problem with one of my bridesmaids as well. Ever > since I asked her to be in the wedding party she has complained about > everything I have suggested! She doesn’t want to wear the colour that > I have picked (deep green), not because she doesn’t like it, or > because she doesn’t look good in dark green (she has many outfits of > the same color and she loves it!), but because she doesn’t want to > look like all the other members of the wedding party (including the > Groom and Groomsmen who will be wearing deep green plaid vests). She > doesn’t want to wear a dress, but instead has suggested that she wear > one of the green outfits that she has already (it is a semi-formal > wedding). She doesn’t want to have her shoes matching her outfit > because it is expensive, she doesn’t want her hair done because it is > too expensive (and I don’t really know what to do with her hair > because it is MUCH longer than the other Bridesmaids’)…to the extent > that I have agreed to pay for the preliminary salon appointment for > her to have it done, and she will pay for the day of the wedding! She > doesn’t want to wear makeup, and she is already complaining about how > much this will cost her (the dress is hopefully going to be less than > $100 for each BM). > I don’t really know what to do with her at this point! The wedding is > still more than a year away, and there is alot that I have to do > before the wedding happens. This is giving me so much stress! I am > trying my best to handle her and all the other wedding stuff…she is > the only one who is complaining (and the one in the best financial > situation as well!)…the other BMs couldn’t care less what they have > to wear or how much it will cost them (their words) as long as they > are part of the wedding party and have the honour of standing up with > me. I have given this BM many chances to withdraw from the wedding > party, and she doesn’t want to do that…but I also don’t want her to > withdraw after the dresses are made and everything else (then I have > to pay for her dress!! since I am hoping to have them made!)…. > Sorry for the long windedness of this post! I don’t mean to sound like > a selfish Bride…I feel that I am doing everything in my power to > keep the costs for my BM’s down to a reasonable amount…I am trying > to find dresses that they will like, which are not too expensive, in > the same color and styles….! I just don’t know what else I can do > for this woman! > Pam
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writes: >Hi Holly, I don’t think you meant to quote me below: (I’m re-posting this >without putting quote marks on it). I didn’t write it.
Sorry, sorry, sorry. (I know this happens all the time; I try to avoid it, but I doubt anyone here’s got a perfect record.) Holly
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Hi Holly, I don’t think you meant to quote me below: (I’m re-posting this without putting quote marks on it). I didn’t write it. writes: >>Has anyone one else had a problem with complaining bridesmaids? I have >six maids. One >>hates the dress I have chosen and another is complaining about the cost >of it because her >>daughter is in the wedding as well. (The cost is $201.25 for a >handmade gown. It is a >>plush red velvet on the top and italian satin on the bottom.) All the >other bridemaids have >>either told me they love it or that it is my day and I should do >whatever I want. I negotiated >>for weeks with the price of the gowns to get it at the best price I >could and I don’t think the >>cost is unreasonable. Any suggestions?
$200 plus IS a lot of money for a dress, especially for the woman who has to buy two of them. (When was the last time you spent over $200 for a special-occasion dress – that YOU got to choose?) However, the point is, you’re feeling put upon because you think you did a lot of work to make everyone happy, getting the best price. The mistake you’ve probably made is, you did that without consulting everyone. Yes, traditionally you get to pick the dress. And your attendants should wear it with a minimum of complaining. However, it’s a good idea to consult your attendants about the style – show pictures, ask about particular features that might be a problem (anyone hate going sleeveless? hate short/long/full/slim skirts? care about identical versus merely coordinated dresses? love purple? etc.) Before I decided what the reasonable limit on clothing costs for our wedding party was, I asked everyone what THEY thought was reasonable. I "floated" $100-150 as a reasonable estimate and got reactions. (One said, "I’d rather spend $100 on the dress and $50 on travelling up for the wedding." Another asked if that included the shoes. When I said I wasn’t going to make them wear identical shoes and she could hopefully wear her own shoes, she said, "THANK you!" And one said she’d happily spend more, or make her dress, or basically do whatever I wanted.) Anyway, since you’ve chosen what you’ve chosen and you’re not going to change it at this point (!), damage control is a good idea. The woman complaining about the cost – is this truly a burden for her, or is she just complaining for the sake of complaining? If the latter, explain that you really made an effort to get the best price and it really hurts you that she doesn’t recognize that, and could she please try not to complain so much so that you can all enjoy the wedding more? If the former, can you offer to subsidize it for her? Buy her daughter’s dress? As for the woman who simply hates the dress, well, why does she hate it? Does she just think she doesn’t look good in it? Is there anything you can do to modify or accessorize it that will make her more comfortable? If she doesn’t really want to do anything about it but just enjoys complaining, again, ask her to complain to others all she wants but not to you, because it’s hurtful and anyway you don’t agree, obviously – you think the dress is beautiful and you think she looks great in it. It’s unlikely that either BM will drop out of the wedding rather than buy and wear the dress. However, if you offer them that option, it might help them realize how seriously you are taking their complaints. It IS possible that they are simply kvetching in a recreational way and don’t mean to hurt you. An honest conversation about WHY they are complaining and WHY it bugs you so much is definitely in order. Holly (& Ken) 8/25/96
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writes: >I am having a similar problem with one of my bridesmaids as well. Ever >since I asked her to be in the wedding party she has complained about >everything I have suggested! She doesn’t want to wear the colour that >I have picked (deep green), not because she doesn’t like it, or >because she doesn’t look good in dark green (she has many outfits of >the same color and she loves it!), but because she doesn’t want to >look like all the other members of the wedding party (including the >Groom and Groomsmen who will be wearing deep green plaid vests). She >doesn’t want to wear a dress, but instead has suggested that she wear >one of the green outfits that she has already (it is a semi-formal >wedding).
So, let her wear what she wants the colors will still not clash. She doesn’t want to have her shoes matching her outfit >because it is expensive, she doesn’t want her hair done because it is >too expensive (and I don’t really know what to do with her hair >because it is MUCH longer than the other Bridesmaids’)…to the extent >that I have agreed to pay for the preliminary salon appointment for >her to have it done, and she will pay for the day of the wedding!
Let her wear it long! She >doesn’t want to wear makeup, and she is already complaining about how >much this will cost her (the dress is hopefully going to be less than >$100 for each BM).
Let her go without makeup if she is more comfortable. > I don’t really know what to do with her at this point! … >Sorry for the long windedness of this post! I don’t mean to sound like >a selfish Bride…I feel that I am doing everything in my power to >keep the costs for my BM’s down to a reasonable amount…I am trying >to find dresses that they will like, which are not too expensive, in >the same color and styles….! I just don’t know what else I can do >for this woman!
There was a discussion recently about the inappropriateness of using children as "props" for the wedding. It sounds to me as if you are trying to use your bridesmaids as "props" for your wedding. Do you want your bridesmaids to be there to make a good photograph, or to give you moral support. If the former primarily, you should consider hiring professional models. ( 
for those that need it.) Janet Gunn – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text –
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- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->Has anyone one else had a problem with complaining bridesmaids? I have six maids. One >hates the dress I have chosen and another is complaining about the cost of it because her >daughter is in the wedding as well. (The cost is $201.25 for a handmade gown. It is a >that I have agreed to pay for the preliminary salon appointment for >her to have it done, and she will pay for the day of the wedding! She >doesn’t want to wear makeup, and she is already complaining about how >much this will cost her (the dress is hopefully going to be less than >$100 for each BM). > I don’t really know what to do with her at this point! The wedding is >still more than a year away, and there is alot that I have to do >before the wedding happens. ! I just don’t know what else I can do >for this woman! >Pam > good stuff clipped to save space <<<<
Pam, I think you need to figure out what this problem really is? Is this woman jealous that you are getting married? It sounds as if this may be the problem. If it important to you that this person be a part of your wedding party, try talking to her about what might be bothering her. Just maybe she will tell you and you can work it out. If she simply states that this is too much, and that is a hassle, you may want to consider saying "I’m really sorry I am creating so much difficulty for you. Please let me correct the situation by allowing you to bow out of the wedding party". Or other graceful words to that effect. I am sure one of two things will happen, this will allow her to bow out if she wishes or she will get the message behave. Sorry that this is causing so much stress, but hang in there, you are marrying the man of your dreams and that is what counts. Joan (half of doyles)
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- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> >Boy-oh-boy this sounds familiar!! I had two people crap out on me after > >they decided anything over $50.00 (I guess they wanted a Kmart Blue Light > >Special) for a dress was too much. I was wondering to myself how people > >can put money in front of a friendship. > Ahem. Sometimes, even just $50 is a stretch for some of us. I’m not sure > I understand how not wanting to make a financial sacrifice is putting > money ahead of friendship. If my bridesmaids state that a $200 gown (such > as the one you are requiring of your bridesmaids) is too much for them, I > would find myself hardpressed to consider them as saying money came before > their friendship with me. Given that I myself have bills as well as > grad/law school to pay for (and we won’t even start to talk about buying a > house), it really wouldn’t enter my mind that they were putting a price on > my friendship. After all, they wouldn’t consider me to be putting money > ahead of friendship by having sore feelings that they wouldn’t add a $200 > dress to their wardrobe. > >I guess I could understand if the > >dress was $300.00 or more > Well, it’s good to know what your minimum standards are. > >(I would pay that to be in a friends wedding > >and I have a whole house payment to myself!) > It’s great that you have this debt yet still have money to pay to be in a > friend’s wedding. But we aren’t all as financially successful/adept as > you. It doesn’t mean we place money ahead of friendship, but just as I am > not going into debt over my wedding, I can’t ask my friends to go into > debt over it. > I find this whole idea perplexing and I guess we just come from different > backgrounds and aren’t going to see each other’s points. I’m > flabberghasted at the idea that friends who refuse to spend a lot of money > to be in a wedding are putting money ahead of friendship, but a bride who > requires friends to spend a lot of money to be in her wedding is not doing > it herself. Floored, really. > — > Ami > ***** > The bigger the Net gets, the smaller the fish it catches … > – R. E. Childs >– >Ami, I agree with you. We are financially very tight and my bridesmaids >are too. To me, $120 is the limit for a dress. I can’t ask any of my best >friends to spend a lot of money for a dress which they might/might not wear >just for me. I just can’t do that to them. So instead of getting them >gifts, I got them the dresses. They all say they love the dress and love >the idea. Rather than ending up with a dress and a set of earrings (gift) >they might/might not like after spending $200 or more, they end up with a >free dress which they can wear or not wear after the wedding and I end up >with bridesmaids in my favorite dress and that are happy being in that >dress. >Junko
I agree with Junko’s approach. In our case, it wasn’t the MOH dress that was an issue, as she could afford it (and it only cost about $100). But our Best Man and Usher are both financially strapped – so we didn’t even ask them to pay for their tux rentals, we just did it and included it in our cost for the wedding. It was more important to us to have these people in the wedding than to worry about why they weren’t paying for it. Lori
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>Has anyone one else had a problem with complaining bridesmaids? I have six maids. One >hates the dress I have chosen and another is complaining about the cost of it because her >daughter is in the wedding as well. (The cost is $201.25 for a handmade gown. It is a >plush red velvet on the top and italian satin on the bottom.) All the other bridemaids have >either told me they love it or that it is my day and I should do whatever I want. I negotiated >for weeks with the price of the gowns to get it at the best price I could and I don’t think the >cost is unreasonable. Any suggestions?
Personally, I think $201.25 is an awful lot to spend on a dress that will be worn maybe one or two times (if ever) after the wedding. I think it is important to remember that you pick your attendants because you love and respect them and want them to have a special part in your wedding. Remember, a wedding is the day that you declare your committment to your partner — not the day that you show off your fashion sense. I think it is important that you keep your friend’s finances in mind when you ask them to be in your wedding. I have only asked one person to be my attendant, my best friend, and I think that is enough. I told her that we could rent the dress if she wanted or we could buy it. I want her to be happy participating in the occasion, not being irritated with me because I chose something out of her means. It’s an awful burden to put on one’s friends. Both times I have been a bridesmaid, the dress has cost at least $160 and both times it was a financial burden upon me. Neither bride, I think, really intended the dress to be so expensive, but both got caught up in the idea of the "perfect, fantasy" wedding. You might ask your friend if she could participate in your wedding in another way — she could get a gorgeous dress that doesn’t cost nearly as much and be a candlelighter or pass out programs?
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>Has anyone one else had a problem with complaining bridesmaids? I have six maids. One >hates the dress I have chosen and another is complaining about the cost of it because her >daughter is in the wedding as well. (The cost is $201.25 for a handmade gown. It is a >plush red velvet on the top and italian satin on the bottom.) All the other bridemaids have >either told me they love it or that it is my day and I should do whatever I want. I negotiated >for weeks with the price of the gowns to get it at the best price I could and I don’t think the >cost is unreasonable. Any suggestions?
I am having a similar problem with one of my bridesmaids as well. Ever since I asked her to be in the wedding party she has complained about everything I have suggested! She doesn’t want to wear the colour that I have picked (deep green), not because she doesn’t like it, or because she doesn’t look good in dark green (she has many outfits of the same color and she loves it!), but because she doesn’t want to look like all the other members of the wedding party (including the Groom and Groomsmen who will be wearing deep green plaid vests). She doesn’t want to wear a dress, but instead has suggested that she wear one of the green outfits that she has already (it is a semi-formal wedding). She doesn’t want to have her shoes matching her outfit because it is expensive, she doesn’t want her hair done because it is too expensive (and I don’t really know what to do with her hair because it is MUCH longer than the other Bridesmaids’)…to the extent that I have agreed to pay for the preliminary salon appointment for her to have it done, and she will pay for the day of the wedding! She doesn’t want to wear makeup, and she is already complaining about how much this will cost her (the dress is hopefully going to be less than $100 for each BM). I don’t really know what to do with her at this point! The wedding is still more than a year away, and there is alot that I have to do before the wedding happens. This is giving me so much stress! I am trying my best to handle her and all the other wedding stuff…she is the only one who is complaining (and the one in the best financial situation as well!)…the other BMs couldn’t care less what they have to wear or how much it will cost them (their words) as long as they are part of the wedding party and have the honour of standing up with me. I have given this BM many chances to withdraw from the wedding party, and she doesn’t want to do that…but I also don’t want her to withdraw after the dresses are made and everything else (then I have to pay for her dress!! since I am hoping to have them made!)…. Sorry for the long windedness of this post! I don’t mean to sound like a selfish Bride…I feel that I am doing everything in my power to keep the costs for my BM’s down to a reasonable amount…I am trying to find dresses that they will like, which are not too expensive, in the same color and styles….! I just don’t know what else I can do for this woman! Pam
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>Has anyone one else had a problem with complaining bridesmaids? I have six maids. One >hates the dress I have chosen and another is complaining about the cost of it because her >daughter is in the wedding as well. (The cost is $201.25 for a handmade gown. It is a >plush red velvet on the top and italian satin on the bottom.) All the other bridemaids have >either told me they love it or that it is my day and I should do whatever I want. I negotiated >for weeks with the price of the gowns to get it at the best price I could and I don’t think the >cost is unreasonable. Any suggestions?
I have to tell one on my bridesmaids. They hated the navy silk Waters and Waters dresses, but decided that in Texas in the summer, nothing was going to feel good. I promised to turn up the air conditioning in the church to max., and had tried to get everyone to agree on a dress prior. Gave up, went with what I thought was the best choice for my party of 3, ranging in sizes from 18 to 2. I had wedding bands hats with short veils made to match, they looked like the ones in the brochures. I loved them, they hated them. My MOH wore bright purple hose under her dress in protest. My second maid of honor was so nervous she forgot to take off her leggings before the service. (Red on under her gown.) The other one was just complaining because I made her wear a necklace and earrings that matched the dress, which was part of the gift I gave to them. Bottom line, chill out, don’t worry about it. If they are having a heard time with the cost, ask them what would be reasonable for a formal wedding in their estimation. Then, think about splitting the cost of the difference. Just my $.02.
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: Has anyone one else had a problem with complaining bridesmaids? I have six maids. One hates the dress I have chosen and another is complaining about the cost of it because her daughter is in the wedding as well. (The cost is $201.25 for a handmade gown. It is a plush red velvet on the top and italian satin on the bottom.) All the other bridemaids have either told me they love it or that it is my day and I should do whatever I want. I negotiated for weeks with the price of the gowns to get it at the best price I could and I don’t think the cost is unreasonable. Any suggestions? Tell the complaining BM’s that you would rather have them at your wedding as honored guests/honorary bridesmaids and happy than at your wedding as pissed off bridesmaids. That puts the ball in their court, and makes it clear that you’re thinking about their feelings. Unfortunately, whether you think the cost is reasonable isn’t as important as whether they do–did you discuss budget beforehand with your bridesmaids? $200 isn’t ridiculous at all for a dress like you describe, but if a bridesmaid agrees to be in a wedding thinking that her dress will be closer to $100–or if money’s so tight that $201.25 is perceptibly less manageable than $200–or, heck, if she just always shops sales and has never paid more than $50 for a dress, $200 may feel like it’s just too much. Karen — Karen L. Greenberg
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Joyce, This is coming from the Groom’s perspective from seeing what my future Wife is doing with the same situation. Look at it from the view of the bridesmaid: 1. They are more than likely to never wear the dress again. 2. They are going to look like the other 5 bridesmaids of which the style you’ve chosen may not fit all of them perfectly. 3. It’s expensive for them to fork out $200 for one day. I know that all sounds negative, well, that’s because it is. What my fiance did was pick a few styles that >SHE< liked, asked them all to decide on one style that they all could >LIVE< with and told them they could either buy or >RENT<. Yes, rent. Her bridesmaid’s dresses are $160.00 (to buy)but they are a style that can be worn after then wedding as a summer dress very easily. She looked at dresses that she could rent as well. So, some of them are renting them and for the rest of the bridesmaids that wanted to buy them – she got the name and make of the dress from the place where they are renting them – went to the bridal boutique where she is getting her dress and they can order them for her bridesmaids whom want to buy them… It’s only $75.00 to rent them. That’s alot easier for someone to swallow than $160… It’s why groomsman RENT tuxedos… Its your wedding but be flexible – put yourself in their shoes… – Orryan and Trisha June 1, 1996 >Has anyone one else had a problem with complaining bridesmaids? I have six maids. One >hates the dress I have chosen and another is complaining about the cost of it because her >daughter is in the wedding as well. (The cost is $201.25 for a handmade gown. It is a >plush red velvet on the top and italian satin on the bottom.) All the
other bridemaids have >either told me they love it or that it is my day and I should do whatever
I want. I negotiated >for weeks with the price of the gowns to get it at the best price I could
and I don’t think the – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->cost is unreasonable. Any suggestions?
Response:
>>Has anyone one else had a problem with complaining bridesmaids? I have six maids. One >hates the dress I have chosen and another is complaining about the cost of it because her >daughter is in the wedding as well. (The cost is $201.25 for a
handmade gown. It is a >plush red velvet on the top and italian satin on the bottom.) All the
other bridemaids have >either told me they love it or that it is my day and I should do
whatever I want. I negotiated >for weeks with the price of the gowns to get it at the best price I
could and I don’t think the >cost is unreasonable. Any suggestions?
Boy-oh-boy this sounds familiar!! I had two people crap out on me after they decided anything over $50.00 (I guess they wanted a Kmart Blue Light Special) for a dress was too much. I was wondering to myself how people can put money in front of a friendship. I guess I could understand if the dress was $300.00 or more (I would pay that to be in a friends wedding and I have a whole house payment to myself!) but I was hurt because that was the MOST important thing to them. Why do people have to be like this.. I don’t know. Well I figure I have five in the party now and everyone is happy with their dresses, etc. THANK GOD!!!!!! Good luck to you! Kirsten (and Brad) 9/7/96
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>Boy-oh-boy this sounds familiar!! I had two people crap out on me after >they decided anything over $50.00 (I guess they wanted a Kmart Blue Light >Special) for a dress was too much. I was wondering to myself how people
>can put money in front of a friendship.
Ahem. Sometimes, even just $50 is a stretch for some of us. I’m not sure I understand how not wanting to make a financial sacrifice is putting money ahead of friendship. If my bridesmaids state that a $200 gown (such as the one you are requiring of your bridesmaids) is too much for them, I would find myself hardpressed to consider them as saying money came before their friendship with me. Given that I myself have bills as well as grad/law school to pay for (and we won’t even start to talk about buying a house), it really wouldn’t enter my mind that they were putting a price on my friendship. After all, they wouldn’t consider me to be putting money ahead of friendship by having sore feelings that they wouldn’t add a $200 dress to their wardrobe. >I guess I could understand if the >dress was $300.00 or more
Well, it’s good to know what your minimum standards are. >(I would pay that to be in a friends wedding >and I have a whole house payment to myself!)
It’s great that you have this debt yet still have money to pay to be in a friend’s wedding. But we aren’t all as financially successful/adept as you. It doesn’t mean we place money ahead of friendship, but just as I am not going into debt over my wedding, I can’t ask my friends to go into debt over it. I find this whole idea perplexing and I guess we just come from different backgrounds and aren’t going to see each other’s points. I’m flabberghasted at the idea that friends who refuse to spend a lot of money to be in a wedding are putting money ahead of friendship, but a bride who requires friends to spend a lot of money to be in her wedding is not doing it herself. Floored, really. — Ami ***** The bigger the Net gets, the smaller the fish it catches … – R. E. Childs
Response:
Has anyone one else had a problem with complaining bridesmaids? I have six maids. One hates the dress I have chosen and another is complaining about the cost of it because her daughter is in the wedding as well. (The cost is $201.25 for a handmade gown. It is a plush red velvet on the top and italian satin on the bottom.) All the other bridemaids have either told me they love it or that it is my day and I should do whatever I want. I negotiated for weeks with the price of the gowns to get it at the best price I could and I don’t think the cost is unreasonable. Any suggestions?
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>Has anyone one else had a problem with complaining bridesmaids? I have six maids. One >hates the dress I have chosen and another is complaining about the cost of it because her >daughter is in the wedding as well. (The cost is $201.25 for a handmade gown. It is a >plush red velvet on the top and italian satin on the bottom.) All the other bridemaids have >either told me they love it or that it is my day and I should do whatever I want. I negotiated >for weeks with the price of the gowns to get it at the best price I could and I don’t think the >cost is unreasonable. Any suggestions?
Well, it all depends on the income of the people involved. For example, $200 is a bit steep for me (I’m a poor grad student) and I would’ve declined being in the wedding…offered to do other things, help shop, make favors, etc but couldn’t afford the dress. It is hard for some people to pay that if they don’t have it. If her daughter’s also in the wedding, is she paying for both dresses? – in which case $400 is indeed alot to put out for many people. If on the other hand, she’s got loads of $$$ and drops $200 on dresses regularly, then it’s not unreasonable to expect her to pay that. I know You want the people close to you to be a part of your big day, but it’s not also that financially possible. Last wedding I was in I paid ~$150 dress + shoes, and flew there another $250 , though I probably would have flown there regardless. For me, even that was hard to do, but worth it. It is indeed your day, but make sure your bridesmaids are all happy with costs dresses etc (I know some willnever be, and those are better left out). She may really want to be ap part of your big day, but just can’t pay that. Have aheart-to heart with her . As for the one that just doesn’t like the dress, find out why and see if there’s a compromise? Cherise
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|> >I am thinking of proposing to my boyfriend on this date. Anyone else |> >doing the same. Any ideas? I was thinking of an engraved necklace but |> >he’s not into jewelry. I liked the plain engraved white gold ring idea. |> >May go with it. Hi Debbie! Not sure if this helps, but here is how my girlfriend "proposed" to me: She didnt! She just looked at me with her oh-so-big-oh-so-loving-green-eyes in an oh-so-wunderfully-romantic way for five minutes – I just couldn’t do anything else than proposing to her… This happened on Saturday, July 29th, 1995 in Geneve in Switzerland during our summer vacation, and we bought rings together the next Wednesday, back home in Hamburg, Germany. And one more thing: I never was into jewelry at all, not a bit! But without the golden ring, I immediately feel alone and sad. I can’t live without this ring almost like I cannot without her! Hugs to everyone out there! Andras
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>I am thinking of proposing to my boyfriend on this date. Anyone else >doing the same. Any ideas? I was thinking of an engraved necklace but >he’s not into jewelry. I liked the plain engraved white gold ring idea. >May go with it.
Go for it! It worked well with me! If he is in need of a new watch, maybe buying a nice one and having it engraved would be a comparable engagement symbol. I went ahead and bought a matching ring for myself, too– just a plain white-gold wedding bamd. And it’s really nice to look at it and know that he is wearing his at the same time I’m wearing mine. :) kate. | Patron Saint of rec.arts.comics.marvel.xbooks, and Really Short Person | | I have a web page! (at http://student-www.uchicago.edu/users/keweizel) | | Keeper of the RAC.MX Read Before Posting and Where Can I Find It? FAQs |
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Well, I am. That is my birthday so we will have lots of things to celebrate about. Hank – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->I am thinking of proposing to my boyfriend on this date.
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I am thinking of proposing to my boyfriend on this date. Anyone else doing the same. Any ideas? I was thinking of an engraved necklace but he’s not into jewelry. I liked the plain engraved white gold ring idea. May go with it. Debbie
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I would appreciate any help on the responsibilities of the bestman.
This is my first time being the bestman. Besides the bachelor party what else should I be concerned with? Thanks Ian
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> I would appreciate any help on the responsibilities of the bestman. > This is my first time being the bestman. Besides the bachelor party > what else should I be concerned with? > Thanks Ian
Ian, basically the best man does the following: make sure that the groom stays as sane as possible during all the excitement. Make sure that everything goes smoothly. VERY important. act as a witness for the marriage license signing. help the groom dress before ceremony and after reception. Make sure he looks all right and is wearing everything he needs to wear. carry the fiance’s wedding ring. Have it available during the ceremony. (FYI. Some best men lick the inside of the ring so it goes on the bride’s finger smoothly.) carry the envelope that contains the fee for the clergy or judge. Present the envelope to clergy or judge before or right after the ceremony. Offer the first toast to bride and groom. Rehearsing what you are going to say can overcome any nervous jitters. Most best men have never spoken in front of a group before. Ian, each wedding is different, so not all of the above might apply to this wedding, but here they are. Good Luck. Larry Robins (Maestro) Larry Robins Orchestra For weddings in the Philadelphia area
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If you really must have a bachelor party the night before, it is your responsibility to make sure the groom gets home early and doesn’t drink very much. Trust me, if you produce a groom who is hungover, groggy, and cranky on his wedding day, you may have a bride who never lets you set foot in her house again! Gaelen
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This reply was posted and mailed to the original author. >What an interesting idea! Combining a funeral with a wedding! That’s sure to be >the talk of the town for a loooooong time and would earn the bride a special >place in Etiquette Hell. >Noe
Might as well invite all of Heaven in ! I want the photo-op and a copy of the video ! Regards, John S. Douglas Spectrum Photographic Inc Photographer http://www.spectrumphoto.com Darkroom processes, formulas, facts and information. Weddings,portraits,commercial and stock photography
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Who cares about etiquette??? I feel almost like doing everything I possibly can AGAINST etiquette…I get so sick hearing about "You can’t do this, you can’t do that…it’s against ETIQUETTE!" If the BRIDE and GROOM want to do something in THEIR wedding to remember a lost loved one, leave them alone…if you do not like it or do not approve then TOUGH…do what you want in YOUR wedding. Have you never lost someone close to you? Do you not wish someone could still be with you in your wedding? Sheesh. Lynn – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->Absolutely. >A moment of silence. >Never before have I seen such a tribute. Follow up with uplifting and >inspirational stories about said loved ones. After a solemn moment, the mood >needs to be lifted to what it should be like at a wedding. Be creative, and >true to the people you want to remember. >Another approach I have seen is to include a photo of the loved one(s) among >the decorations in the church. Give them an honorary "seat" proceding over >the affair, and everyone will understand your wish to have them present at >your service. > What an interesting idea! Combining a funeral with a wedding! That’s sure to be > the talk of the town for a loooooong time and would earn the bride a special > place in Etiquette Hell. > Noe
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>Who cares about etiquette??? I feel almost like doing everything I >possibly can AGAINST etiquette…I get so sick hearing about "You can’t >do this, you can’t do that…it’s against ETIQUETTE!" >If the BRIDE and GROOM want to do something in THEIR wedding to remember >a lost loved one, leave them alone…if you do not like it or do not >approve then TOUGH…do what you want in YOUR wedding. Have you never >lost someone close to you? Do you not wish someone could still be with >you in your wedding? Sheesh.
Yes, but I would never dream of making other people feel sad, squeamish, uncomfortable, depressed, sorry to be there, unhappy, ill or anything else just because it was "my" wedding. Those who are invited to a wedding expect to attend a happy occasion. If they had wanted to go to a funeral or another event in which dead people are the topic de jour, I’m sure they would have opted to do so. Talking about dead people at a wedding is simply morbid. This is more than etiquette. This about common decency and having concern about others. It’s about bring selfless instead of selfish. It’s called maturity. Noe
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> My father passed away 4 years ago. Grandma passed 3 years > ago and Grandpa, who was supposed to give me away passed > away Thursday. Does anyone have any ideas on how to honor > them in a special way at my wedding?
The challenge here is to make the remembrance meaningful without making guests uncomfortable. People have very different levels of comfort with mentions of death on a joyous occasion. Some of us are completely okay with references to people who are "with us in spirit" — others squirm at any mention at all. You’re the best judge of where your guests stand on this. A good host does not make guests uncomfortable if it can be prevented. A *brief* mention in the wedding program and/or in the prayers during the ceremony is within the comfort level for *most* but not all guests. Wearing a special piece of jewelry, carrying a special flower, playing a special piece of music, using a special reading, leaving your bouquet on a grave privately, or being unescorted because your chosen escort is not available — without mentioning it to the guests in general — can mean a great deal to you and can offend no one. Lighting candles or having special flowers for a beloved and departed relative is a little riskier, especially as you draw more attention to it. In some churches, this is so common that no one is the least bit bothered by it; in others, it might be seriously out of place. When you reach the point of putting roses on empty seats, I think you’re starting to step over the line into items that will make your guests acutely uncomfortable — because it draws attention to absence, rather than to the gift the person gave with their presence. There are a few communities where it’s acceptable to have photos of the departed as part of the ceremony decorations. If you’re in one of these communities, you’ll know it, and I’d think twice about importing this custom to a place where it’s never been done before. Freaked-out relatives (remember — they *also* miss your grandparents!) do not add much to a wedding day. Definitely look at what your other relatives or close friends have done, and how it went — they’re a better measure of your *local* standards. Wende
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> There are ways to privately honor a deceased relative at a > wedding. (Visiting the grave site after the wedding, carrying a momento > of the deceased in the wedding, and so on) I’m not understanding why a > bride and groom would want to make a public display of it when the public > rememberance would make a large percentage of the guest uncomfortable.
You’re presupposing that a remebrance would make a "large percentage" of the guests uncomfortable. For many people, that simply isn’t true. For some it is, but each HC should know their family and friends well enough to know what is common amongst them. Your guests aren’t some random strangers, so you know how they will deal. In our case, a large percentage of guests would feel uncomfortable if everyone pretended to forget a departed relative, because that’s not the reality of how *we* view death. (I will repeat, though, that one should be wary of how much they do – large displays do tend to be impersonal, whereas someone’s heart felt "Let’s pray for those who are with us in spirit" or "I know so-and-so would be very happy for you today" would be personal and simple.) Cherise Share what you know. Learn what you don’t.
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As I have said in other posts to the list, our wedding is going to be a very small wedding…there will be no one there that will even remotely think of anything we do to honor my parents or my fiance’s brother even remotely selfish…I will guarantee that. Besides…what’s wrong with a few additional sentences in the vows, me wearing a few pieces of my mother’s jewelry and having a very special yellow rose in my bouquet because it was both my mom and my dad’s favorite flower? I was not the one that posted something about leaving empty chairs, having pictures at the reception, telling of the lost loved one’s life in a toast…No, *I* wouldn’t do that either…but if that person wants to do it, that’s their right. All I am saying is that it’s up to the individuals getting married…what THEY want to do… We are doing what is meaningful to US, what will make our day memorable and special to US…neither of us could care less what is written somewhere in a book… My parents are two of the four most important people in my life, my fiance and my daughter, the other two. The fact that my parents cannot be with me at my wedding hurts me DEEPLY. I will walk down the aisle by myself because no one can replace my father, my fiance will walk halfway down and meet me. Maybe my emotions are just raw today as it is the 13th "anniversary" of my father’s death, my mother’s birthday is the 15th of August and our wedding is the 19th…I’m sorry if you think I’m selfish but we are doing what we feel will be our way of remembering my parents and his brother at our wedding and I’m sure it will be beautiful. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > This reply was posted and mailed to the original author. > Your reasoning is selfish. I had lost my father, step father > and aunt and my wife had lost both parents prior to or wedding. Should > we have taken the time to honor them all ? Did all of our guests know > them ? > And yes, doing so would have been completely and utterly > selfishness. > Rail against etiquette if you like but it is a good guide for > those who are less selfish and "me/mine" centered. > Regards, > John S. Douglas Spectrum Photographic Inc > Photographer http://www.spectrumphoto.com > Darkroom processes, formulas, facts and information. > Weddings,portraits,commercial and stock photography >Who cares about etiquette??? I feel almost like doing everything I >possibly can AGAINST etiquette…I get so sick hearing about "You can’t >do this, you can’t do that…it’s against ETIQUETTE!" >If the BRIDE and GROOM want to do something in THEIR wedding to remember >a lost loved one, leave them alone…if you do not like it or do not >approve then TOUGH…do what you want in YOUR wedding. Have you never >lost someone close to you? Do you not wish someone could still be with >you in your wedding? Sheesh. >Lynn
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> Who cares about etiquette??? I feel almost like doing everything I > possibly can AGAINST etiquette…I get so sick hearing about "You can’t > do this, you can’t do that…it’s against ETIQUETTE!" > If the BRIDE and GROOM want to do something in THEIR wedding to remember > a lost loved one, leave them alone…if you do not like it or do not > approve then TOUGH…do what you want in YOUR wedding. Have you never > lost someone close to you? Do you not wish someone could still be with > you in your wedding? Sheesh.
Yes, I lost someone very close to me -my grandfather, and my uncle. Yes, I wish they could have been there. HOwever, I would not have even considered bringing up their deaths at my wedding. Why? Because I would not inflict that pain on my guests, especially my grandmother (wife AND mother) on what is to be a happy occasion. MAYBE I could see carrying a flower in memory, or putting a picture on a table with some other pictures, but I would certainly not try to call attention to it. It should be between you and you FH, and if other guests know because you’ve mentioned it fine, but why the need to make it part of the ceremony. The day is supposed to be celebrating your union, not their deaths… Christi
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> Who cares about etiquette??? I feel almost like doing everything I > possibly can AGAINST etiquette…
Well, since etiquette is about making sure that your guests are not uncomfortable, I hope to never be invited to an event of yours. Honestly – take some time to learn what etiquette is. It’s not just a list of stuffy rules and regulations that some old lady from the 1800’s thought up and wrote down. Etiquette is a general guideline of a way to act/speak/write in situations that aren’t familiar or everyday. Etiquette is about trying not to inadvertantly offend or upset people. In fact a few months ago someone else wrote a wonderful explanation of etiquette and it’s role in society. You can find what she wrote at http://x25.deja.com/[ST_rn=ps]/getdoc.xp?AN=461689010&CONTEXT=933613856. 2056388818&hitnum=62 if you’re interested in following this through. > If the BRIDE and GROOM want to do something in THEIR wedding to > remember a lost loved one, leave them alone…if you do not like > it or do not approve then TOUGH…do what you want in YOUR wedding. ‘
This attitude of "do what you want ’cause it’s YOUR wedding" is the very problem that everyone is trying to address. Is it acceptable to make people uncomfortable and/or sad simply because it’s your wedding and that’s what makes you happy? It would be one thing if it was something like – say – wearing a veil at a second wedding. According to etiquette, a second time bride shouldn’t do so, but does it hurt anyone else? No. You may get talked about a little by some people, but if it doesn’t bother you, then ok. But "honoring" a dead person at your wedding can and does make people – your guests – uncomfortable. Probably not all of them, and maybe not any of them. But do you want to take that chance? > Have you never lost someone close to you? Do you not wish someone > could still be with you in your wedding? Sheesh.
Yes, my mother died 4 months ago tomorrow. I am thankful every day that she was able to be at my wedding. But you know what – if my brother got married and had a moment of silence at his wedding (or some other publicly announced rememberance) for my Mom, I would burst into tears and have to leave the room. And I know that it would make the other guests very, very uncomfortable. Is that what you want to happen? OTOH, I would be content to know that maybe his bride was wearing my mother’s wedding ring or that my brother had tucked her prayer book in his pocket. That would be a private and bitter-sweet rememberance that I could deal with. And a toast at the reception that included my Mom’s name would be very sweet – soemthing along the lines of "I know Mom’s here today celebrating with us." But to make a big deal of it would be just horrible. Just my $0.02 Karen Share what you know. Learn what you don’t.
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I think that the important thing here is the assupmtion that a remembrance would make "a large percentage of the guests uncomfortable." There are very few people coming to my wedding (my family, Jim’s family, and friends) that didn’t know and love my mother. Mentioning her and placing a rose on the altar in her memory isn’t going to make anyone uncomfortable. Pretending that she isn’t in all of our thoughts most likely would. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->Who cares about etiquette??? I feel almost like doing everything I >possibly can AGAINST etiquette…I get so sick hearing about "You can’t >do this, you can’t do that…it’s against ETIQUETTE!" >If the BRIDE and GROOM want to do something in THEIR wedding to remember >a lost loved one, leave them alone…if you do not like it or do not >approve then TOUGH…do what you want in YOUR wedding. Have you never >lost someone close to you? Do you not wish someone could still be with >you in your wedding? Sheesh. > There are ways to privately honor a deceased relative at a > wedding. (Visiting the grave site after the wedding, carrying a momento > of the deceased in the wedding, and so on) I’m not understanding why a > bride and groom would want to make a public display of it when the public > rememberance would make a large percentage of the guest uncomfortable. > Kris
– Sometimes it’s not enough to be the center of attention. Sometimes it’s not enough to get the round of applause. Sometimes you just need to be worshipped. That’s why they call us Divas… it means goddess, you know. -Rosa Ponselle
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> However, I also wouldn’t go to extremes – a prayer of the faithful, a > <short> comment in a toast, any simple acknowledgement would be > appropriate for us. It’s a matter of acknowledging without *dwelling* > on it. If your friends and family are of the sort who celebrate a > life well lived, then they will not find it morbid to have one’s name > mentioned.
I would think that what Cherise wrote is sort of key to the whole issue here. I don’t see anything wrong with a brief mention of someone close to you who had passed away. In the Catholic and Episcopalian ceremony there is a section of prayer for those who have died and it would be fitting to mention specific names in that part. Also, a toast at the reception – I know if my Mom had died before my wedding I would have made brief mention about knowing she was with us on this happy day. Period. The problem that I’m seeing is that people are wanting to combine much more elaborate ‘rememberances’ as a major part of the ceremony or reception. I would agree that putting photographs of people who have passed away at the front of the church during the ceremony or having a "moment of silence" specifically to remember a deceased family member during the ceremony, or making a huge fuss about it is not appropriate and would most likely make some guests uncomfortable. I personally much prefer the simpler, more intimate rememberances. To me it’s more personal to have a rememberance that only those close to me recognize than it is to spell it out to the whole group – then it becomes less intimate and personl and more of a display for the people present. (For example, at my Mom’s memorial service, I wore her pearls – the ones that my father gave her when they got married and that I wore at my own wedding. The only people who noticed were my father and my best friend and they both commented on how special it was and how glad they were that I wore them then. But I didn’t feel the need to make an announcement about it or point out to everyone there that I was wearing them. It was enough to do it and know in my heart what it meant.) Karen Share what you know. Learn what you don’t.
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. > Yes, but I would never dream of making other people feel sad, squeamish, > uncomfortable, depressed, sorry to be there, unhappy, ill or anything else just > because it was "my" wedding. Those who are invited to a wedding expect to attend > a happy occasion. If they had wanted to go to a funeral or another event in > which dead people are the topic de jour, I’m sure they would have opted to do > so. Talking about dead people at a wedding is simply morbid.
Some people talk about those who have passed as a way of celebrating their life. For many people, it’s insulting *not* to mention them. It’s not the least bit morbid to remember a person’s role in one’s life. For *you* it may be, but remember that many many people see death as a part of life, and a life is to be celebrated, and life is a part of what marriage is all about. A wedding, for many, is not a show in which only happy thoughts are allowed (and who’s to say that thinking of a departed loved one *isn’t* happy?). It is a life event, often a very important event in the life of a family, which still includes those who have already passed. For the original poster – ask your family and close friends how they feel about it. Be conscientious of how much is acceptable to them, because they are who matter. I know for a fact that my family and friends would find it incredibly odd if no mention was made of my deceased brother. They would likely mention him themselves if we didn’t. However, I also wouldn’t go to extremes – a prayer of the faithful, a <short> comment in a toast, any simple acknowledgement would be appropriate for us. It’s a matter of acknowledging without *dwelling* on it. If your friends and family are of the sort who celebrate a life well lived, then they will not find it morbid to have one’s name mentioned. C>
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This reply was posted and mailed to the original author. >This is more than etiquette. This about common decency and having concern about >others. It’s about bring selfless instead of selfish. It’s called maturity. >Noe
Maturity ? From someone getting married ? Imagine that ! Regards, John S. Douglas Spectrum Photographic Inc Photographer http://www.spectrumphoto.com Darkroom processes, formulas, facts and information. Weddings,portraits,commercial and stock photography
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This is the best way of honoring them at your wedding…this is what I am doing at my wedding.. having a picture of them right in front of the pew…where everyone can see them..and say in remembrance of… then we will make a comment on our wedding…and reception too hex – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – >My father passed away 4 years ago. Grandma passed 3 years >ago and Grandpa, who was supposed to give me away passed >away Thursday. Does anyone have any ideas on how to honor >them in a special way at my wedding? >Thanks >* Sent from RemarQ http://www.remarq.com The Internet’s Discussion Network * >The fastest and easiest way to search and participate in Usenet – Free!
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This reply was posted and mailed to the original author. Your reasoning is selfish. I had lost my father, step father and aunt and my wife had lost both parents prior to or wedding. Should we have taken the time to honor them all ? Did all of our guests know them ? And yes, doing so would have been completely and utterly selfishness. Rail against etiquette if you like but it is a good guide for those who are less selfish and "me/mine" centered. Regards, John S. Douglas Spectrum Photographic Inc Photographer http://www.spectrumphoto.com Darkroom processes, formulas, facts and information. Weddings,portraits,commercial and stock photography – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->Who cares about etiquette??? I feel almost like doing everything I >possibly can AGAINST etiquette…I get so sick hearing about "You can’t >do this, you can’t do that…it’s against ETIQUETTE!" >If the BRIDE and GROOM want to do something in THEIR wedding to remember >a lost loved one, leave them alone…if you do not like it or do not >approve then TOUGH…do what you want in YOUR wedding. Have you never >lost someone close to you? Do you not wish someone could still be with >you in your wedding? Sheesh. >Lynn
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I once attended a wedding in which the bride had lost her father many years before. She had a picture of him on a table where she and the groom also placed a number of other pictures of both sides of the family. Later, the bride’s younger brother mentioned their father in his tosast to the HC — he said something like, "Thos of us who knew him can feel his presence here today, and that is a very special thing." I am one of the world’s biggest cynics, but the beauty and simplicity of their sentiments moved me so deeply that I started crying (along with everybody else). I understand and respect Noe’s point of view, and yet I can’t help but think that marriage is, in a sense, about forming relationships that will last beyond our death. A simple reminder of those we love on that day need not be depressing or maudlin, but rather part of a larger celebration of life, and the lives of those who have touched and influenced us. Bookgrrrl – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->My father passed away 4 years ago. Grandma passed 3 years >ago and Grandpa, who was supposed to give me away passed >away Thursday. Does anyone have any ideas on how to honor >them in a special way at my wedding? > In my friend’s wedding, they had a white "Memorial" Candle lit > along with the Unity Candle. The program at that point was something > like: "This memorial candle is lit in loving memory of Mrs. Jane Doe, > the grandmother of the bride, and Mr. John Smith, the groom’s uncle". > I thought it was a tactful and meaningful way of honoring the deceased. > Some traditions also call for putting the bridal bouquet on > graves, but if the bride wants to keep her bouquet, I suppose one like > it could be delivered to the cemetary. > Ariane
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>Absolutely. >A moment of silence. >Never before have I seen such a tribute. Follow up with uplifting and >inspirational stories about said loved ones. After a solemn moment, the mood >needs to be lifted to what it should be like at a wedding. Be creative, and >true to the people you want to remember. >Another approach I have seen is to include a photo of the loved one(s) among >the decorations in the church. Give them an honorary "seat" proceding over >the affair, and everyone will understand your wish to have them present at >your service.
What an interesting idea! Combining a funeral with a wedding! That’s sure to be the talk of the town for a loooooong time and would earn the bride a special place in Etiquette Hell. Noe
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Jennifer, This is beautiful, thank you for posting this. My parents are both gone…(Dad 13 years ago today in fact…sniffle) and my fiance and I wanted to include some sort of remembrance in our wedding next month. Before anyone feels they have to flame me…this will be a very small wedding and everyone who will be there knows how I feel about my parents being gone and it will not offend anyone or make anyone sad… I get the feeling it is a Catholic prayer, and we are not…however, I will ask the minister that marries us if there is some form of this he can say to this effect. Absolutely touching words…thanks again. Lynn – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > At our service, we have a special verse in the Prayer of the Faithful, > that goes something like "For our friends and loved ones who travel with > us on life’s journey, and for those who have gone to the other side of > life. Particularly for HisGrandfather and HerGrandfather and > HerGrandmother, who have witnessed their grandchildren’s sacred vows from > their glorious places in heaven, that we may continue theirlegacy of > love, let us pray to the Lord." > (This is just our verse, and not to force our religious views on you, > but just to give you an idea of how we mentioned them. Please don’t > take offense – none is intended.)
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I carried a handkerchief of my Grandmother’s wrapped around the base of my bouquet. My husband had my Papa’s handkerchief in his pocket. The only ones who knew this were close family. I wanted to remember them, but not upset anyone else. Suzy married to Tony 10-24-98 – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > My father passed away 4 years ago. Grandma passed 3 years > ago and Grandpa, who was supposed to give me away passed > away Thursday. Does anyone have any ideas on how to honor > them in a special way at my wedding? > Thanks > * Sent from RemarQ http://www.remarq.com The Internet’s Discussion Network * > The fastest and easiest way to search and participate in Usenet – Free!
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Absolutely. A moment of silence. Never before have I seen such a tribute. Follow up with uplifting and inspirational stories about said loved ones. After a solemn moment, the mood needs to be lifted to what it should be like at a wedding. Be creative, and true to the people you want to remember. Another approach I have seen is to include a photo of the loved one(s) among the decorations in the church. Give them an honorary "seat" proceding over the affair, and everyone will understand your wish to have them present at your service. Kevin Paul Photography
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> My father passed away 4 years ago. Grandma passed 3 years > ago and Grandpa, who was supposed to give me away passed > away Thursday. Does anyone have any ideas on how to honor > them in a special way at my wedding? > Thanks > * Sent from RemarQ http://www.remarq.com The Internet’s Discussion Network * > The fastest and easiest way to search and participate in Usenet – Free!
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I wouldn’t do anything, but you can mention something in the program. I have seen this done in a subtle way, and it worked nicely. Kelli – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > My father passed away 4 years ago. Grandma passed 3 years > ago and Grandpa, who was supposed to give me away passed > away Thursday. Does anyone have any ideas on how to honor > them in a special way at my wedding? > Thanks > * Sent from RemarQ http://www.remarq.com The Internet’s Discussion Network * > The fastest and easiest way to search and participate in Usenet – Free!
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Hello, I have the same problem. My father died 5 years ago and all of my grandparents are dead. My fiance’s Dad just died last December. I have been thinking of how to honor them as well. I am thinking of lighting a candle for them, maybe put a little blurb about them in our program, I’m going to carry a picture of my Dad in my bouquet somehow. I am still searching for ideas as well. Good Luck and I’m sorry to hear about your Grandfather. Jenni
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>My father passed away 4 years ago. Grandma passed 3 years >ago and Grandpa, who was supposed to give me away passed >away Thursday. Does anyone have any ideas on how to honor >them in a special way at my wedding?
In my friend’s wedding, they had a white "Memorial" Candle lit along with the Unity Candle. The program at that point was something like: "This memorial candle is lit in loving memory of Mrs. Jane Doe, the grandmother of the bride, and Mr. John Smith, the groom’s uncle". I thought it was a tactful and meaningful way of honoring the deceased. Some traditions also call for putting the bridal bouquet on graves, but if the bride wants to keep her bouquet, I suppose one like it could be delivered to the cemetary. Ariane
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My father died two years ago and didn’t get a chance to meet FH. I get tearied eyed everytime I think about my Dad not being there. I don’t think I can have anything said about my Dad at the ceremony. It will make me sad and I know I will cry. Instead, I will carry a yellow rose in my bouquet of white calla lillies, and my Mom will carry a yellow rose with some greenery. I am going to put something in the program about my Dad and the symbolism of the yellow rose, but I don’t think I could stand anything being said. I did, however, save the recommendation from Jennifer. If I can get past the tears, a prayer like that will fit very nicely into my ceremony. Pam to Todd 4/1/2000 – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – >My father passed away 4 years ago. Grandma passed 3 years >ago and Grandpa, who was supposed to give me away passed >away Thursday. Does anyone have any ideas on how to honor >them in a special way at my wedding? >Thanks >* Sent from RemarQ http://www.remarq.com The Internet’s Discussion Network * >The fastest and easiest way to search and participate in Usenet – Free!
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>My father passed away 4 years ago. Grandma passed 3 years >ago and Grandpa, who was supposed to give me away passed >away Thursday. Does anyone have any ideas on how to honor >them in a special way at my wedding? >Thanks
Privately. Weddings are joyous celebrations. Blatant reminders of the dead are inappropriate unless your religion or culture routinely embraces such remembrances at weddings. Your guests, and probably some family members, will be sadden by reminders of those who have passed away. Some brides like to visit the grave site after the wedding and leave the bouquet there. Some brides carry a special momento, such as a bible, handkerchief, or piece of jewelry in their wedding. Whatever you decide, the remembrance is most special to you – it should be kept private. Hope this helps, Noe
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You don’t, at least not publicly. A wedding is a time of joy and living, not remembering the dead, no matter how much we love them. Have your mother walk you down the aisle and think of them or do something private, but don’t turn your wedding into a memorial service. Mindy – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > My father passed away 4 years ago. Grandma passed 3 years > ago and Grandpa, who was supposed to give me away passed > away Thursday. Does anyone have any ideas on how to honor > them in a special way at my wedding? > Thanks > * Sent from RemarQ http://www.remarq.com The Internet’s Discussion Network * > The fastest and easiest way to search and participate in Usenet – Free!
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Question:
>Anyways, the fact is that I based my decision to buy the rings there was in >large part due to the price.
Then why don’t you simply return the rings and purchase less expensive ones elsewhere? It would be too sad to think that your wedding day is colored by resentment that you paid too much for the rings you’ll be using to honor your marriage for years to come.
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ask to talk to the store manager and if they still won’t apply the difference, you can always go to www.complaint.com and vent, Niki,
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Hi everyone, > As the big day draws closer (july 13) I’m probably going to be using this > newsgroup more and maybe using it to vent some frustrations. I hope you all > don’t mind. I really like reading the postings in here. I find a lot of > the information really useful. > Anyways, I really just need to vent about something. My fiance and I just > bought our wedding bands last night. We’re on a pretty tight budget, so we > looked around at a few stores and found a pretty good deal (or so we > thought) at one store. They were having a 25% off "all gold jewelry" sale. > A couple of weeks ago I asked if that applied to the rings and I was told > that, yes, it does. Well, we picked out our rings, and paid for them and > rushed out of the store because we were headed out to see "Spiderman" (great > movie, by the way, if you’re into that type of thing). I checked the bill > when I got in the theatre, and instead of taking 25% off, they only took off > 15%. The sales lady said she was going to save us the tax (equal to 15% in > my area), but I thought she meant that she was going to give us that extra, > along with the 25% (stupid me). And I also noticed that the regular price > (on the receipt) on my fiance’s ring was $25 more than what was actually > tagged to the ring. > Anyways, I went back to the store this morning and asked about it, and while > they did give me the difference between the price on the ring and the price > I was charged, they said that the 25% off sale didn’t apply to rings or > stones. Well, there was three huge signs up in the store which said "25% > off ALL GOLD JEWELRY" and our wedding bands are plain gold, and I’m pretty > sure that rings are ‘jewelry’. Needless to say, I’m a little bit pissed, > especially considering the main reason we chose that store was the price!!! > I know I sound really cheap, and I am, but I don’t think that’s a bad thing. > Besides, the rings are just plain gold bands, no stones or anything, and so > we aren’t exactly picky. > Anyways, I just want to get some opinions on the matter. I’m thinking about > phoning the better business bureau (spelling?) because I think it’s false > advertising. Thanks for listening. > Sanda > —
Response:
the same goes here if you buy with a credit card. You can call your credit card company and dispute the charge. Many businesses rater resolve the problem than have to deal with a credit card company. Niki,
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> In the UK we have departments who would take up this case, don’t you have > trading standards people? > This is typical of rogue trading which they would investigate. > I don’t know what the firms policy is on refunds. > Over here a shop doesn’t have to give a refund except where there is an > actual problem concerning quality etc. I know if I was the manager of the > shop, I would rather give the discount than give the money back. > Good luck. > Malcolm. > ask to talk to the store manager > and if they still won’t apply the difference, > you can always go to www.complaint.com and vent, > Niki, > > Hi everyone, > > As the big day draws closer (july 13) I’m probably going to be using > this > > newsgroup more and maybe using it to vent some frustrations. I hope you > all > > don’t mind. I really like reading the postings in here. I find a lot > of > > the information really useful. > > Anyways, I really just need to vent about something. My fiance and I > just > > bought our wedding bands last night. We’re on a pretty tight budget, so > we > > looked around at a few stores and found a pretty good deal (or so we > > thought) at one store. They were having a 25% off "all gold jewelry" > sale. > > A couple of weeks ago I asked if that applied to the rings and I was > told > > that, yes, it does. Well, we picked out our rings, and paid for them > and > > rushed out of the store because we were headed out to see "Spiderman" > (great > > movie, by the way, if you’re into that type of thing). I checked the > bill > > when I got in the theatre, and instead of taking 25% off, they only took > off > > 15%. The sales lady said she was going to save us the tax (equal to 15% > in > > my area), but I thought she meant that she was going to give us that > extra, > > along with the 25% (stupid me). And I also noticed that the regular > price > > (on the receipt) on my fiance’s ring was $25 more than what was actually > > tagged to the ring. > > Anyways, I went back to the store this morning and asked about it, and > while > > they did give me the difference between the price on the ring and the > price > > I was charged, they said that the 25% off sale didn’t apply to rings or > > stones. Well, there was three huge signs up in the store which said > "25% > > off ALL GOLD JEWELRY" and our wedding bands are plain gold, and I’m > pretty > > sure that rings are ‘jewelry’. Needless to say, I’m a little bit > pissed, > > especially considering the main reason we chose that store was the > price!!! > > I know I sound really cheap, and I am, but I don’t think that’s a bad > thing. > > Besides, the rings are just plain gold bands, no stones or anything, and > so > > we aren’t exactly picky. > > Anyways, I just want to get some opinions on the matter. I’m thinking > about > > phoning the better business bureau (spelling?) because I think it’s > false > > advertising. Thanks for listening. > > Sanda > > —
Response:
> They were having a 25% off "all gold jewelry" sale.<snip> they said that the > 25% off sale didn’t apply to rings or > stones. Well, there was three huge signs up in the store which said "25% > off ALL GOLD JEWELRY" and our wedding bands are plain gold, and I’m pretty > sure that rings are ‘jewelry’.
It is not a coincidence that these types of jewelry sales occur in late winter/early spring just before prime wedding season. I’ve seen them many times and without exception, engagement and wedding rings are excluded. It’s a nifty marketing ploy to get you into the door where you finally read the small print on the sales banners. But in the meantime, the store has "attracted" you to enter their premises with the consumer research knowledge in hand that once you are in there, you will look around and are more likely to buy even if the item is not part of the announced sale. Have you checked out www.bluenile.com for price comparisons?
Response:
In the UK we have departments who would take up this case, don’t you have trading standards people? This is typical of rogue trading which they would investigate. I don’t know what the firms policy is on refunds. Over here a shop doesn’t have to give a refund except where there is an actual problem concerning quality etc. I know if I was the manager of the shop, I would rather give the discount than give the money back. Good luck. Malcolm.
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> ask to talk to the store manager > and if they still won’t apply the difference, > you can always go to www.complaint.com and vent, > Niki, > Hi everyone, > As the big day draws closer (july 13) I’m probably going to be using this > newsgroup more and maybe using it to vent some frustrations. I hope you > all > don’t mind. I really like reading the postings in here. I find a lot of > the information really useful. > Anyways, I really just need to vent about something. My fiance and I just > bought our wedding bands last night. We’re on a pretty tight budget, so > we > looked around at a few stores and found a pretty good deal (or so we > thought) at one store. They were having a 25% off "all gold jewelry" > sale. > A couple of weeks ago I asked if that applied to the rings and I was told > that, yes, it does. Well, we picked out our rings, and paid for them and > rushed out of the store because we were headed out to see "Spiderman" > (great > movie, by the way, if you’re into that type of thing). I checked the bill > when I got in the theatre, and instead of taking 25% off, they only took > off > 15%. The sales lady said she was going to save us the tax (equal to 15% > in > my area), but I thought she meant that she was going to give us that > extra, > along with the 25% (stupid me). And I also noticed that the regular price > (on the receipt) on my fiance’s ring was $25 more than what was actually > tagged to the ring. > Anyways, I went back to the store this morning and asked about it, and > while > they did give me the difference between the price on the ring and the > price > I was charged, they said that the 25% off sale didn’t apply to rings or > stones. Well, there was three huge signs up in the store which said "25% > off ALL GOLD JEWELRY" and our wedding bands are plain gold, and I’m pretty > sure that rings are ‘jewelry’. Needless to say, I’m a little bit pissed, > especially considering the main reason we chose that store was the > price!!! > I know I sound really cheap, and I am, but I don’t think that’s a bad > thing. > Besides, the rings are just plain gold bands, no stones or anything, and > so > we aren’t exactly picky. > Anyways, I just want to get some opinions on the matter. I’m thinking > about > phoning the better business bureau (spelling?) because I think it’s false > advertising. Thanks for listening. > Sanda > —
Response:
I agree with you absolutely. You were cheated if they offered you something and did not follow through on it. I would go in during a busy period to return the rings and if necessary (as in "No Return" policy) politely, but firmly make a stink in front of other potential customers. Squeaky wheel gets the grease. I don’t think you’re getting bent out of shape over nothing, and I think it’s healthy to be able to vent some of the wedding frustration. You can’t generally say anything when the future in-laws bother you or when your sister complains about your dress selection or when your distant cousin raises an issue over nnot being allowed to invite her kids (and the list goes on…), but when a VENDOR does not meet expectations, you certainly have the right to set the straight. I’m not recommending rudeness, but be firm and if necessary be loud. Dawn
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> I didn’t get what I wanted. They gave me difference of what they charged me > for the ring and the price that was actually on it (the receipt said 224.97, > but the price on the ring was 199.97), but they wouldn’t give me the 25% off > that is advertised by the huge signs put around the store saying "25% off > ALL GOLD JEWELRY." They said that "the sale doesn’t include rings," but > they failed to mention this before I bought the rings, so I just assumed > that it would apply since exceptions were not noted on the sign. I was also > told by another salesperson a couple of weeks ago that the sale did apply to > the wedding rings (another thing that frustrates me). The manager was there > when I went back this morning, and he reiterated what the salesperson said > about the ring exception, so I’m not going to get any help there. I, and > most people I know, consider rings jewelry. If it’s a precious metal or > stone and you wear it on your body, it’s jewelry. Pretty simple, I think. > Anyways, the fact is that I based my decision to buy the rings there was in > large part due to the price. I know that I sound really cheap and > everything, but really, the advertising was dishonest. I think it’s wrong. > I don’t have the money to be throwing around. A difference of a few dollars > here or there is a big deal to me. Anyways, that’s just what I think. > Sanda > — > >Anyways, I went back to the store this morning and asked about it, and > while > >they did give me the difference between the price on the ring and the > price > >I was charged, they said that the 25% off sale didn’t apply to rings or > >stones. Well, there was three huge signs up in the store which said "25% > >off ALL GOLD JEWELRY" and our wedding bands are plain gold, and I’m > pretty > >sure that rings are ‘jewelry’. > Let me get this straight. They honored your request for the 25% off and > you’re > still miffed? I’m sorry if I don’t understand why you are upset. > In my experience, sales like this include bracelets, necklaces, earrings > and > novelty items like ear cuffs, anklets, etc. possibly even cocktail rings. > But > Wedding Rings, Engagement rings and loose stones are usually exempt. It’s > probably just me but I don’t consider wedding rings "jewelry". > In any case it sounds like their signage needs more clarification, but > since > you got what you wanted no harm done. > If this is the ONLY bump in the road at this point in time, consider > yourself > fortunate.
Response:
> Let me get this straight. They honored your request for the 25% off and you’re > still miffed? I’m sorry if I don’t understand why you are upset.
No they didn’t get the 25% off. They were overcharged by $25 on her fiance’s ring and they got this money back. There’s no indication at all that they got 25% off the rings.
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I didn’t get what I wanted. They gave me difference of what they charged me for the ring and the price that was actually on it (the receipt said 224.97, but the price on the ring was 199.97), but they wouldn’t give me the 25% off that is advertised by the huge signs put around the store saying "25% off ALL GOLD JEWELRY." They said that "the sale doesn’t include rings," but they failed to mention this before I bought the rings, so I just assumed that it would apply since exceptions were not noted on the sign. I was also told by another salesperson a couple of weeks ago that the sale did apply to the wedding rings (another thing that frustrates me). The manager was there when I went back this morning, and he reiterated what the salesperson said about the ring exception, so I’m not going to get any help there. I, and most people I know, consider rings jewelry. If it’s a precious metal or stone and you wear it on your body, it’s jewelry. Pretty simple, I think. Anyways, the fact is that I based my decision to buy the rings there was in large part due to the price. I know that I sound really cheap and everything, but really, the advertising was dishonest. I think it’s wrong. I don’t have the money to be throwing around. A difference of a few dollars here or there is a big deal to me. Anyways, that’s just what I think. Sanda —
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->Anyways, I went back to the store this morning and asked about it, and while >they did give me the difference between the price on the ring and the price >I was charged, they said that the 25% off sale didn’t apply to rings or >stones. Well, there was three huge signs up in the store which said "25% >off ALL GOLD JEWELRY" and our wedding bands are plain gold, and I’m pretty >sure that rings are ‘jewelry’. > Let me get this straight. They honored your request for the 25% off and you’re > still miffed? I’m sorry if I don’t understand why you are upset. > In my experience, sales like this include bracelets, necklaces, earrings and > novelty items like ear cuffs, anklets, etc. possibly even cocktail rings. But > Wedding Rings, Engagement rings and loose stones are usually exempt. It’s > probably just me but I don’t consider wedding rings "jewelry". > In any case it sounds like their signage needs more clarification, but since > you got what you wanted no harm done. > If this is the ONLY bump in the road at this point in time, consider yourself > fortunate.
Response:
i dont think it sounds cheap, we bought our rings at jc penneys since they were having a huge sale on gold jewlery. I guess I got lucky, since I found a gorgeous set that was fairly cheap and had a nice design and some tiny diamonds in it. They honored the sale percentage. The only thing I didnt get since it was on sale was to get my rings ingraved. which was no biggy since I had them engraved on our 1st anniversary (and it only cost me $14 at our local jewler) Strange to think that rings arent jewlery.. Ive always considdered them to be jewlery. Niki,
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> I didn’t get what I wanted. They gave me difference of what they charged me > for the ring and the price that was actually on it (the receipt said 224.97, > but the price on the ring was 199.97), but they wouldn’t give me the 25% off > that is advertised by the huge signs put around the store saying "25% off > ALL GOLD JEWELRY." They said that "the sale doesn’t include rings," but > they failed to mention this before I bought the rings, so I just assumed > that it would apply since exceptions were not noted on the sign. I was also > told by another salesperson a couple of weeks ago that the sale did apply to > the wedding rings (another thing that frustrates me). The manager was there > when I went back this morning, and he reiterated what the salesperson said > about the ring exception, so I’m not going to get any help there. I, and > most people I know, consider rings jewelry. If it’s a precious metal or > stone and you wear it on your body, it’s jewelry. Pretty simple, I think. > Anyways, the fact is that I based my decision to buy the rings there was in > large part due to the price. I know that I sound really cheap and > everything, but really, the advertising was dishonest. I think it’s wrong. > I don’t have the money to be throwing around. A difference of a few dollars > here or there is a big deal to me. Anyways, that’s just what I think. > Sanda > — > >Anyways, I went back to the store this morning and asked about it, and > while > >they did give me the difference between the price on the ring and the > price > >I was charged, they said that the 25% off sale didn’t apply to rings or > >stones. Well, there was three huge signs up in the store which said "25% > >off ALL GOLD JEWELRY" and our wedding bands are plain gold, and I’m > pretty > >sure that rings are ‘jewelry’. > Let me get this straight. They honored your request for the 25% off and > you’re > still miffed? I’m sorry if I don’t understand why you are upset. > In my experience, sales like this include bracelets, necklaces, earrings > and > novelty items like ear cuffs, anklets, etc. possibly even cocktail rings. > But > Wedding Rings, Engagement rings and loose stones are usually exempt. It’s > probably just me but I don’t consider wedding rings "jewelry". > In any case it sounds like their signage needs more clarification, but > since > you got what you wanted no harm done. > If this is the ONLY bump in the road at this point in time, consider > yourself > fortunate.
Response:
>Anyways, I went back to the store this morning and asked about it, and while >they did give me the difference between the price on the ring and the price >I was charged, they said that the 25% off sale didn’t apply to rings or >stones. Well, there was three huge signs up in the store which said "25% >off ALL GOLD JEWELRY" and our wedding bands are plain gold, and I’m pretty >sure that rings are ‘jewelry’.
Let me get this straight. They honored your request for the 25% off and you’re still miffed? I’m sorry if I don’t understand why you are upset. In my experience, sales like this include bracelets, necklaces, earrings and novelty items like ear cuffs, anklets, etc. possibly even cocktail rings. But Wedding Rings, Engagement rings and loose stones are usually exempt. It’s probably just me but I don’t consider wedding rings "jewelry". In any case it sounds like their signage needs more clarification, but since you got what you wanted no harm done. If this is the ONLY bump in the road at this point in time, consider yourself fortunate.
Response:
Hi, If I were you, I’d go in and talk to the store manager about the false advertising. If he won’t credit yout he 25% tell him you want your money back and buy the rings someplace else. The Better Business Bureau probably wouldn’t be any help. They only list unresolved problems, they don’t really list overall satisfaction. If you still feel like venting, write a letter to the store’s owner explaining the rude treatment you got from their sales staff, odds are the owner isn’t aware (unless it’s a very small store). - Michelle – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – >Hi everyone, >As the big day draws closer (july 13) I’m probably going to be using this >newsgroup more and maybe using it to vent some frustrations. I hope you all >don’t mind. I really like reading the postings in here. I find a lot of >the information really useful. >Anyways, I really just need to vent about something. My fiance and I just >bought our wedding bands last night. We’re on a pretty tight budget, so we >looked around at a few stores and found a pretty good deal (or so we >thought) at one store. They were having a 25% off "all gold jewelry" sale. >A couple of weeks ago I asked if that applied to the rings and I was told >that, yes, it does. Well, we picked out our rings, and paid for them and >rushed out of the store because we were headed out to see "Spiderman" (great >movie, by the way, if you’re into that type of thing). I checked the bill >when I got in the theatre, and instead of taking 25% off, they only took off >15%. The sales lady said she was going to save us the tax (equal to 15% in >my area), but I thought she meant that she was going to give us that extra, >along with the 25% (stupid me). And I also noticed that the regular price >(on the receipt) on my fiance’s ring was $25 more than what was actually >tagged to the ring. >Anyways, I went back to the store this morning and asked about it, and while >they did give me the difference between the price on the ring and the price >I was charged, they said that the 25% off sale didn’t apply to rings or >stones. Well, there was three huge signs up in the store which said "25% >off ALL GOLD JEWELRY" and our wedding bands are plain gold, and I’m pretty >sure that rings are ‘jewelry’. Needless to say, I’m a little bit pissed, >especially considering the main reason we chose that store was the price!!! >I know I sound really cheap, and I am, but I don’t think that’s a bad thing. >Besides, the rings are just plain gold bands, no stones or anything, and so >we aren’t exactly picky. >Anyways, I just want to get some opinions on the matter. I’m thinking about >phoning the better business bureau (spelling?) because I think it’s false >advertising. Thanks for listening. >Sanda >–
Michelle Kuechle http://www.visi.com/~kuechle Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it.
Response:
Hi everyone, As the big day draws closer (july 13) I’m probably going to be using this newsgroup more and maybe using it to vent some frustrations. I hope you all don’t mind. I really like reading the postings in here. I find a lot of the information really useful. Anyways, I really just need to vent about something. My fiance and I just bought our wedding bands last night. We’re on a pretty tight budget, so we looked around at a few stores and found a pretty good deal (or so we thought) at one store. They were having a 25% off "all gold jewelry" sale. A couple of weeks ago I asked if that applied to the rings and I was told that, yes, it does. Well, we picked out our rings, and paid for them and rushed out of the store because we were headed out to see "Spiderman" (great movie, by the way, if you’re into that type of thing). I checked the bill when I got in the theatre, and instead of taking 25% off, they only took off 15%. The sales lady said she was going to save us the tax (equal to 15% in my area), but I thought she meant that she was going to give us that extra, along with the 25% (stupid me). And I also noticed that the regular price (on the receipt) on my fiance’s ring was $25 more than what was actually tagged to the ring. Anyways, I went back to the store this morning and asked about it, and while they did give me the difference between the price on the ring and the price I was charged, they said that the 25% off sale didn’t apply to rings or stones. Well, there was three huge signs up in the store which said "25% off ALL GOLD JEWELRY" and our wedding bands are plain gold, and I’m pretty sure that rings are ‘jewelry’. Needless to say, I’m a little bit pissed, especially considering the main reason we chose that store was the price!!! I know I sound really cheap, and I am, but I don’t think that’s a bad thing. Besides, the rings are just plain gold bands, no stones or anything, and so we aren’t exactly picky. Anyways, I just want to get some opinions on the matter. I’m thinking about phoning the better business bureau (spelling?) because I think it’s false advertising. Thanks for listening. Sanda —
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Question:
Another thing out of the way….I picked up Doug’s ring last night and we made sure it fit….he was beaming….I was so touched. We actually picked out both rings together (which was a good thing because neither of us would have picked for the other what we ended up getting). Both of them have diamonds and sapphires. Mine is a diamond solitare with a diamond/sapphire wrap, and his is a band with alternating diamonds and sapphires channel-set. Mine is all yellow gold, his a combo of white and yellow. They look great together and apart. It took FOREVER to find what we wanted, and I’m sure glad we held out. Also found some wedding bubbles that I like from a local paper shop. Will shop around for a better price ($7 for 24 bottles). Any mail-order ideas? We’ll label with names and date and use instead of thrown rice or birdseed. I’m so happy the rings worked out!! YAY YAY YAY!!! Genelle (& Doug) 5/31/97
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– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – >Another thing out of the way….I picked up Doug’s ring last night and we >made sure it fit….he was beaming….I was so touched. >We actually picked out both rings together (which was a good thing >because neither of us would have picked for the other what we ended up >getting). Both of them have diamonds and sapphires. Mine is a >diamond solitare with a diamond/sapphire wrap, and his is a band with >alternating diamonds and sapphires channel-set. Mine is all yellow gold, >his a combo of white and yellow. They look great together and apart. It >took FOREVER to find what we wanted, and I’m sure glad we held out. >Also found some wedding bubbles that I like from a local paper shop. Will >shop around for a better price ($7 for 24 bottles). Any mail-order ideas? >We’ll label with names and date and use instead of thrown rice or >birdseed. >I’m so happy the rings worked out!! YAY YAY YAY!!! >Genelle (& Doug) 5/31/97
Genelle, have you check with Litin Paper on Washington Ave? Or is that where you were? Saw them there in Feb/Mar and thought the prices were very reasonable, whatever they were. Actually, you’re under 30 cents/bottle — that seems like a bargain to me! -Barb 8/16/96 "If you’re ever in a jam, here I am." Soon to be The Dreaded Mother-in-Law ACK!!– Fifteen days. Still need to hear from folks — a total of 28 potential guests. I’m making phone calls. I wanna slap a couple of them! BTW, the radio commercial for my Peach Melba jam is airing this week: "Gedney has a brand new State Fair Jam — you’ll love it!!" They were surprised I can sing! "-)
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Question:
> >> > > > > Let me tell you a secret. >> > > > > There aren’t any women who don’t like diamonds >> > > > Wrong. Here’s one. HTH >> It’s true for me as well. I got my first diamond for Christmas… >Count me in as well. Apparently this guy has a lot to learn about women.
hehehe
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: >> > Let me tell you a secret. : >> > There aren’t any women who don’t like diamonds : >> : >> Wrong. Here’s one. HTH : >> :> Here is another one. :> > Here is another one
Can we stand one more??? I’m not a big fan of diamonds, either. Not from a safety angle (although that’s something to think about), and they’re pretty enough, I guess, but I have always preferred colored stones. Then, that ad campaign ("Is two month’s salary too much for something that lasts forever??" No, if you’re talking about something USEFUL, like a house downpayment!!) I mean, please! Even if I *did* like diamonds, that would totally turn me off. Just chiming in, Lisa
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– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > : > > : > 1 caret and above? If that is true, does anyone know any reputable agency > : > that does certify stones of less than 1 caret? I want to purchase a F or > : > a G color stone that has a VS1 or VSII clarity grade, but my girlfriend > : > has VERY small fingers and anything more than about 1/2 a caret will be > : Hehe… I haven’t heard this one before… Let me tell you a secret. > : There aren’t any women who don’t like diamonds, there are just women who > : don’t like *small* diamonds. It can’t be too big. A 1.25 with .75 more > : in baguettes like I just purchased looks magnificent on any size finger. > Well, you’re hearing it now I don’t like diamonds. I own a pair of > diamond earrings that I never wear. They sit in my jewelry box looking > forlorn. I think they’re kinda boring, actually. They’re sparkly and > all, but cold at best and washed out looking at worst (IMO). I prefer > sapphires and emeralds, even some of the semi-precious stones like opals > and aquamarines. I dislike DeBeers marketing practices. I would be > terrified to own a piece of jewelry worth that much money. I also have very > small hands and fingers and let me tell you, large rings don’t make my hands > look elegant or sophisticated. They make them look like I’m a child wearing > my mommy’s costume jewelry for dress up. So you can now count me with > the women who don’t like diamonds, big or small. > Kris
Me too. I don’t like diamonds much either, mostly because they aren’t as rare as many other gems, and yet because of the marketing, they cost way too much. I don’t approve of forcing a ‘demand’ for them by only squeaking a few out of each mine. I also don’t like how the diamond companies make people feel that they need to spend 2 months salary on a diamond ring. you don’t hear the ruby and emerald folks saying stuff like that. My husband gave me a diamond aniversary band which i wear, but I am always checking out jewelry stores to see if i can trade it in for something else. If he had asked me before he bought it i would have asked that he get something other than diamonds. Jenna
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Who is this Roger Connolly and where can he buy a clue??? sheesh! Jeanie —
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Wow! I never thought my little question would generate this much attention! The deal is, my girlfriend has no idea my proposal is comming (unless she has been trolling in this newsgroup… ) In fact our friends joke that she won’t walk down the aisle, she will roll down the aisle in a wheelchair. So asking her an which stone she wants is definitely out of the question. I do think that a diamond above .75 carats would look to big on her hand, and even at that weight I think it would look large. She would never tell me if she thought it was too big…or to small as she will be happy just to know that we are finally engaged with marriage on the horizon! There are obviouslly women out there who don’t like diamonds, some who don’t like large diamonds, etc…. it’s obviouslly not smart to make sweeping generalizations about all women loving large diamonds. Hey everyone loves chocolate… but I can’t stand the stuff! I thank you all for helping me see that she really won’t care what the weight of the diamond is, just that she is getting one, and that I need to think what we both will be comfortable with! By the way, I think somewhere along the line someone did say that the GIA certifies stones weighing less than 1 carat! Thanks again! Bjorn
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: >
: >> : >> > Let me tell you a secret. : >> > There aren’t any women who don’t like diamonds : >> : >> Wrong. Here’s one. HTH : >> : >> –Christine Braunger : > : Here is another one. I, too, am not fond of diamonds. Give me a colored stone (esp. a sapphire) any day. And, yes, I do have a diamond ring. My wedding ring/engagement ring has a large diamond on it. But whenever we go out, I tend to keep my hand in my pocket… call me paranoid, I guess :) — JMR
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Just one more anti-DeBeerser standing up to be counted. I have a beautiful pearl engagement ring. I decidedly did *not* want a diamond. Lauren
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<<I, too, am not fond of diamonds. Give me a colored stone (esp. a sapphire) any day.>> I managed to convince my fiance to get me a sapphire ring & earrings (about a half-carat of diamond accents collectively) which I love, and never feel nervous about. I hate reading these silly things where people say No woman dislikes diamonds – and I guess if I hated them, I wouldn’t like to even have them as accents, but, I certainly am more pleased with sapphires than diamonds any day. Heidi
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>: >> > Let me tell you a secret. >: >> > There aren’t any women who don’t like diamonds >: >> Wrong. Here’s one. HTH >: Here is another one. >Here is another one and yes, I owned a small diamond that my grandmother >gave me in a ring when I turned 13. I am getting to like them better as >I age, but there are other stones I’d prefer. Actually, there are other >THINGS I prefer to jewelry. Travel is way up there. So I have to say I >don’t actively dislike diamonds. They just seem like a sorry way to use >up travel money.
Here’s another one. My engagement ring is a gold and white gold puzzle ring, no diamond or anything. I find the diamond cartel abhorrent and I find DeBeers irriating in the extrmeme with their pushy ads and social manipulation of what women are supposed to want and what men must do in order to demonstrate their love. And I really get grumpy when people, men or women, tell me what I like or dislike as a consequence of my sex. Grr. — | Feminism-the notion (apparently radical to some) that women are people |O/| Humanism-the notion that all people are human. The Empathy Principle: | _ | feel what other people feel in response to your actions. |/ | http://www-leland.stanford.edu/~cfairman/ *Carolyn Fairman*
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>> > > > > Let me tell you a secret. > > > > > There aren’t any women who don’t like diamonds > > > > Wrong. Here’s one. HTH > It’s true for me as well. I got my first diamond for Christmas… >Count me in as well. Apparently this guy has a lot to learn about women.
well here’s another me too post! I have never liked diamonds in fact as a child I was always bummed that they were my birthstone! Give me a stone with color any day. I concede that there are colored diamonds, but they don’t compare to the rainbow of corundum colors! I have a gorgeous ruby engagement ring–it has small diamonds on the side but it was the RUBY I really wanted! Michaele
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: > : > 1 caret and above? If that is true, does anyone know any reputable agency : > that does certify stones of less than 1 caret? I want to purchase a F or : > a G color stone that has a VS1 or VSII clarity grade, but my girlfriend : > has VERY small fingers and anything more than about 1/2 a caret will be : Hehe… I haven’t heard this one before… Let me tell you a secret. : There aren’t any women who don’t like diamonds, there are just women who : don’t like *small* diamonds. It can’t be too big. A 1.25 with .75 more : in baguettes like I just purchased looks magnificent on any size finger. Well, you’re hearing it now I don’t like diamonds. I own a pair of diamond earrings that I never wear. They sit in my jewelry box looking forlorn. I think they’re kinda boring, actually. They’re sparkly and all, but cold at best and washed out looking at worst (IMO). I prefer sapphires and emeralds, even some of the semi-precious stones like opals and aquamarines. I dislike DeBeers marketing practices. I would be terrified to own a piece of jewelry worth that much money. I also have very small hands and fingers and let me tell you, large rings don’t make my hands look elegant or sophisticated. They make them look like I’m a child wearing my mommy’s costume jewelry for dress up. So you can now count me with the women who don’t like diamonds, big or small. Kris
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: >
: >> : >> > Let me tell you a secret. : >> > There aren’t any women who don’t like diamonds : >> : >> Wrong. Here’s one. HTH : >> : >> –Christine Braunger : > : >Have you ever owned one? : Here is another one. Here is another one and yes, I owned a small diamond that my grandmother gave me in a ring when I turned 13. I am getting to like them better as I age, but there are other stones I’d prefer. Actually, there are other THINGS I prefer to jewelry. Travel is way up there. So I have to say I don’t actively dislike diamonds. They just seem like a sorry way to use up travel money. If I didn’t like to travel so much, maybe I’d take more interest in what is on my fingers.
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> > > Let me tell you a secret. > > There aren’t any women who don’t like diamonds > Wrong. Here’s one. HTH > Have you ever owned one?
Yes indeedy – inheritance from my grandmother. It is sitting in my jewelry box until (if) my brother gets engaged – if his fiancee likes diamonds, I’ll offer them mine. I love big gemstones, so the size of the diamond isn’t the issue. Diamonds are sparkly, but in my opinion emeralds, rubies, sapphires, and amethysts have more warmth, character, personality, and beauty. I also dislike the DeBeers marketing practices. So please, put this data point on your map and think of me the next time you generalize about all women loving diamonds. –Christine Braunger
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- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > <snip of other stuff> >There aren’t any women who don’t like diamonds, there are just women who >don’t like *small* diamonds. It can’t be too big. A 1.25 with .75 more >in baguettes like I just purchased looks magnificent on any size finger. >IMO, you should invest the money in a larger stone, and go for SI1 >clarity. Remember, SI1 with a good, clear color can not be distinguished >by anyone but superman with the naked eye. Certification tells you that >you are not being ripped off, but why would you care about the VS or VVS >unless you are planning to sell the stone later? > Umm, sweeping generalization, I think. I know several women who don’t > particularly care for diamonds, ESPECIALLY big ones. For clarification, > what do you consider as small? Is a 1/2 carat small?
Small is relative. I think .5 carat is small. I’ll probably get flamed for this, but I have found (and my Jeweler associate would back this up) that in MOST (but not all) cases, a woman who says that she doesn’t like diamonds, or doesn’t like large diamonds is making a justification, because she knows she may never get one. I have also never known, nor heard of a woman giving a diamond back to the giver because it was "too big". I have, however made accuaintance of many women who have been promised "upgrades" on their engagement stone, and are eagerly awaiting them. > Maybe I was imagining things when I was at the jewelers picking out the > stone for my ring (we shopped together for it), but I could notice a > difference between the SI1 H color and the VVS E color stone we chose.
Of course. SI1 to VVSx is a three or four step jump. I would expect you to be able to tell. On a larger SI1, the colour is far more important. My fiancees Stone is hovering between D/E colour. > It may well have been the cut, but if so, maybe that’s a problem with > the "lesser" quality stones. I don’t know much about the diamond > industry, except that I’m totally in love with my pear-shaped diamond.
All things must be taken into consideration. A VVSx D stone will not look at its best unless the Table is right (Square or Bowed in), the girdle is the right thinkness, and located at the right height on the diamond. Pears are great. If buying cut stones at a knockdown price for investment purposes (who knows why), always buy round brilliants. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Anyway, just wanted to point out that we have lots of different tastes > out here. Luckily, there are that many different stones for us all > to pick from. > my $0.02 … > Dina > (who might be a sucker, but doesn’t care ath this point
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– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> > > Let me tell you a secret. > > > There aren’t any women who don’t like diamonds > > Wrong. Here’s one. HTH > Have you ever owned one? > Yes indeedy – inheritance from my grandmother. It is sitting in my jewelry > box until (if) my brother gets engaged – if his fiancee likes diamonds, > I’ll offer them mine. > I love big gemstones, so the size of the diamond isn’t the issue. Diamonds > are sparkly, but in my opinion emeralds, rubies, sapphires, and amethysts > have more warmth, character, personality, and beauty. I also dislike the > DeBeers marketing practices. > So please, put this data point on your map and think of me the next time > you generalize about all women loving diamonds. > –Christine Braunger
It’s true for me as well. I got my first diamond for Christmas (an antique platinum ring from my mother) and although I love it for the setting and the sentiment, the stone really doesn’t do anything for me. I know that once I get a diamond I’m supposed to feel like nothing else comes close, that I’m not really dressed without one, that they’re my best friend…. I guess I’m odd, but I just don’t feel that way. I always thought that diamonds are like any other type of jewelry – some people like them and some don’t. Anyway, just another voice. — R. Aileen Yingst Planetary Geology, Brown University
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When I was looking for diamonds I had searched all around the bay area checking for prices and by talking with salesman whether he knew what he was talking about. I ended up at the GiftCenter and bought my at Derco’s Jewelers. I liked them and gee it was busy there. Alot of people buying diamonds. One thing I liked about them is that I called them and asked for specifics of a diamond I was looking at somewhere else and asked how much they sell it for. There are many things to look for in a diamond especially if your fiance is planning to spend the big bucks. But whatever you are happy with then buy it. Anyway, as I go on….I did go to those places on Powell St. that have many booths of Jewerly and selling diamonds that are non-cert. I found out that I could have send a diamond to the GIA people in LA and they can certify it for me. But it seems that guy that was trying to sell that non-cert diamond didn’t seem to trustworthy…. But in the end its up to you whatever you like…….Just make sure whatever you end up with you like and will wear forever.
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> > Let me tell you a secret. > There aren’t any women who don’t like diamonds > Wrong. Here’s one. HTH > –Christine Braunger
Have you ever owned one?
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>> > Let me tell you a secret. > > There aren’t any women who don’t like diamonds > Wrong. Here’s one. HTH > –Christine Braunger >Have you ever owned one?
Here is another one. I have a diamond ring with a large diamond and 2 pearls, which I bought from a friend who was strapped for cash. It was her mother’s engagement ring. (Her mother was a from a prominent New York family, and the ring is from Tiffany’s.) I have never worn it, except to try it on (I have had it resized to fit) and find it hard to imagine a situation in which I would be comfortable (either physically or mentally) wearing it. Janet Gunn
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> Let me tell you a secret. > There aren’t any women who don’t like diamonds
Wrong. Here’s one. HTH –Christine Braunger
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> > Has anyone ever purchased a diamond from a Jewelry wholesaler? > > Beware! There are very few restrictions on the use of the word > "Wholesale". It really tells you NOTHING about the price > comparisons. Some retail places will tell you "wholesale", buy > many times it is already marked up 100%.
This is true. It certainly is caveat emptor world if you are dealing with a wholesaler, not only as far as the price goes, but also as far as the 4 C’s go. In order to minimize these two concerns, you may wish to purchase only certified stones (if you are looking to spend <$2000, you may have a problem finding these), and to make sure you are paying the right price, get a hold of the Rapaport Diamond Newsletter, or the Guide. If you are the end user, like in any other trade, you WILL NOT get the true wholesale price, but you’ll rather split the difference with the dealer. For more info on buying from dealers, please see a section of my Engagement Diamond FAQ 9e-mail me if you need a copy) that deals with this subject. –Peter Mlynek
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> IMO, you should invest the money in a larger stone, and go for > SI1 clarity. Remember, SI1 with a good, clear color can not be > distinguished by anyone but superman with the naked eye. > Certification tells you that you are not being ripped off, but > why would you care about the VS or VVS unless you are planning > to sell the stone later?
IMHO, you should not look at it as an investment, since you wont get the money back (more on this later). The only reason why you should buy a diamond of a certain color or clarity grade, is because you want to buy it. Yes, the logic behind buying a diamond that is much more expensive because of what could be seen only under a microscope is pretty nebulous, but people should buy the diamond because of the feeling of having a ‘quality good’ on their finger, not because other people can see that it is a ‘quality good’. If you want to impress people with big flashy stones, then just buy a CZ. You are buying a diamond for YOURSELF, not for other people. > Also, certificated stones are more expensive.
True, but the difference is usually a noise. > When you buy a non > certificated, you need to know how to use a loop and check the > stone. A gemologist will check the color against a set of > master stones. If you buy a non certificated, the appraisers > will accurately estimate the colour and clarity for you. If you > have a 30 or 90 day return policy, then you could return the > ring.
A couple of points: use a microscope, not a loupe. It is much easier to examine the stone in a trough if you have both hands free. But then again, people have been using loupes successfully for decades…. :) Since the previous poster stated that he was interested in buying from a dealer, he should be aware that he needs to negotiate this examination period when he buys the stone, as dealers don’t usually have a return policy. > The sad process of having to sell a stones reminds me of other > pitfalls, namely, a ring purchased at regular retail. You would > not be able to sell it for even close to what you paid for it.
Good point. When you plunk down your money, just kiss it good bye. If you want to resell it, you get roughly a quarter what you paid for it. > I just purchased [a ring, and] had it appraised by certified > gemologists here in Washington at $10,800. I paid $5,250 for > it. My purpose in saying this is twofold. First, there are > HUGE markups in the industry. 80% – 300%, depending on where you > buy. A BIG great quality stone is usually a better purchase > than a SMALL tip-top-quality stone. Your fiancee will agree, > and will not be able to see any difference, trust me.
The difference between the appraised value and paid price also depends on what the appraised value really represents. It is very important that when you ask someone to appraise any piece of jewelery, that you tell them what it is for. The appraised value of an engagement ring (usually done for insurance reasons) should be a little higher then actually paid, but not two fold as indicated above….do you really think that the insurance company will double your money if the piece is lost? Roger posted that the carat weight should be stressed, while clarity and color (though important) should be secondary. My opinion is that the cut is the most important, then clarity and color, while the size (while important) plays a secondary role. Since we are talking about an esthetic good, which is subjectively judged, hence there are no right or wrong answers. YOU should decide which critiria about diamonds is important to you. It’s your money; spend it on a diamond that YOU like, not on a diamond that the experts say is of good quality. –Peter Mlynek
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> > I want to purchase a F or a G color stone that has a VS1 > or VSII clarity grade,
Both the color and the clarity is a little bit above the median…. > but my girlfriend has VERY small fingers and anything more > than about 1/2 a caret will be too big but I want the stone >to be certified! Any help would be great! > Hehe… I haven’t heard this one before… Let me tell you a > secret. There aren’t any women who don’t like diamonds, there > are just women who don’t like *small* diamonds. It can’t be > too big.
This is simply not true, if reading various NG is any indication. Many women don’t like diamonds due to ethical issues (real or imagined) about dealing with DeBeers’ products, due to not wanting to fall into the hype concerning diamonds, due to liking other gemstones much better, due to rather high prices of diamonds, etc. Some women don’t like *big* diamonds due to the cost, due to being perceived as pretentious, due to being perceved as owning a stone of poor clarity, color or cut. "All women like diamonds" is something that would be a good marketing slogan; let’s not push people into diamond buying anymore than the society is already doing. But I do have to agree with Roger that the size of fingers have very little to do with the size of the diamond… the difference between a round diamond weighing one carat and a half a carat is the difference between 6.5 mm and 5.2 mm diameter….can you tell the difference? Perhaps this difference is important even if you can’t see it by casual glance, but don’t waste your money on something that is not important to you. –Peter Mlynek
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<snip of other stuff> >There aren’t any women who don’t like diamonds, there are just women who >don’t like *small* diamonds. It can’t be too big. A 1.25 with .75 more >in baguettes like I just purchased looks magnificent on any size finger. >IMO, you should invest the money in a larger stone, and go for SI1 >clarity. Remember, SI1 with a good, clear color can not be distinguished >by anyone but superman with the naked eye. Certification tells you that >you are not being ripped off, but why would you care about the VS or VVS >unless you are planning to sell the stone later?
Umm, sweeping generalization, I think. I know several women who don’t particularly care for diamonds, ESPECIALLY big ones. For clarification, what do you consider as small? Is a 1/2 carat small? Maybe I was imagining things when I was at the jewelers picking out the stone for my ring (we shopped together for it), but I could notice a difference between the SI1 H color and the VVS E color stone we chose. It may well have been the cut, but if so, maybe that’s a problem with the "lesser" quality stones. I don’t know much about the diamond industry, except that I’m totally in love with my pear-shaped diamond. Anyway, just wanted to point out that we have lots of different tastes out here. Luckily, there are that many different stones for us all to pick from. my $0.02 … Dina (who might be a sucker, but doesn’t care ath this point
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> Has anyone ever purchased a diamond from a Jewelry wholesaler? I have
Beware! There are very few restrictions on the use of the word "Wholesale". It really tells you NOTHING about the price comparisons. Some retail places will tell you "wholesale", buy many times it is already marked up 100%. > been reading the Wall Street Journal for a long time and I called a > wholesaler that had an advertisement there. The name of the company > started with a K, but I can
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